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Current 11dpo looking for fellow first timers for support

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Hi all, we have been TTC our first for 6 months now and I have been on these boards reading almost every single day, this process has now gotten so obsessive to me my DH is tired of me over analyzing everything only to be let down with a BFN every single month.

I'm 11dpo now, AF is due on Saturday (5/14) and I have taken probably 6 internet cheapies since 9dpo and I keep getting BFN. Every month I feel like I get the symptoms, then just chalk them up to AF time. This month has been a bit different:

0-7dpo: Not much change, I just noticed I was VERY gassy (like I am during AF) and bloated
8dpo: breasts got very tender and I was woken up to cramps during the night.
9dpo: breasts still tender, starting to get noticeable veins, mild cramps on and off again waking me up in the night. BFN (tested today because of Mother's Day, thought it would be a sign and a welcome surprise)
10dpo: Still bloated/gassy, breast tenderness goes down, veins disappearing, thick CM appears BFN
11dpo: Today - breasts only sore to the touch. Still bloated and gassy. No hints of anything else.

I am one who has VERY painful cramps at AF time and never thought I really cramped beforehand, the last few months I've gotten these mild cramps a couple of days early which then led to AF, but this time they were a full 7 days before AF which has never happened and I feel this is making me obsess even more.

I hope you ladies accept me into the community! I just know and hope having some support will help ease my mind and if another BFN pops up I know I will need the help to get through it and start from scratch again :(


713 Replies • 7 years ago


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Hi ladies,

Sadly, I'm on cycle day 2 now :( Yesterday afternoon I was very nauseous and dizzy and then had very light pink spotting and my heart skipped a beat, as I've never experienced that before (start of AF is usually brown-sorry, TMI!!) Within hours, I had full blown AF which is also weird because I've literally NEVER started in the evening...it's always been in the morning, usually announcing its arrival first thing.
I still feel nauseous, which is unusual for me.

I go back and forth on whether I want to opk nearly every day (since I have no clue when I ovulate) and chart again or if I want to just say screw it this cycle and focus on me. I'm in my last 2 weeks of teaching thank goodness ;-) and I really need to get back in shape. I'm finding my motivation to exercise and want to look my best for an important event at the end of Sept. Not sure what I'll do yet :)

I get it, twwtoolong-I'll be 33 next month and DH turned 35 a week ago...time isn't really on our side either, especially since we've talked about wanting 2-3 kiddos :(

7 years ago


I can only imagine what you guys are going through. This is my first month ttc and I'm already stressed out. Last month I thought I might be but AF came and it made us realize that we really want a baby. This is the first cycle we actually tried and I'm 9DPO and got a negative result today. AF is expected Tuesday the 14 and she is always on time. I'm dreading Tuesday, I guess I childishly thought it would happen the first try.

7 years ago


Ihardy I thought it would happen the first time too! They always tell you growing up how easy it is to get pregnant so I went into it with that mindset of "now we've decided to have a baby so we will right now." and never imagined I would be on one of these boards with other women who are struggling. You're still early on so don't lose faith yet! Also 9dpo is very early for a BFP so you're not out yet, I hope you're one of the lucky ones who hits in their first try! We need some good news on this post!


7 years ago • Post starter


Thank you for your positive words babybump89. I'm really hoping so to but every little body ache feels like pregnancy, and I'm not sure if I'm imagining it. Recently I downloaded the app Ovia and it's a really great way to track your cycle. Recently I've been checking my cervix and have noticed cm that's Lotion but I'm not sure if it's a sign of pregnancy, I could be stretching for any signs.

7 years ago


Hi Ladies!!
Trust me...I understand your thoughts for sure. It never easy to just let it go...or not stress about the big elephant in the room.

I forgot to mention that I also did acupuncture for a couple of sessions...and I really found that that relaxed me. I have no concrete evidence it worked, but I definitely know every time I leave a session I feel rejuvenated. It also has a lot of other health benefits as well.

Good luck to all! I can't wait to hear of all youf BFPS.

7 years ago


ihardy12, I assumed it would probably happen right away for us as well; I have AF right now so I just started Cycle 3 which is ok, especially since my chances of conceiving each month are around 15% because of my age (32). DH is only home on the weekends right now because of a work training until Sept. so I need to remind myself of that too...the chances are a little slimmer because of it. It's a lot to track and figure out about the body, so I'm trying to remind myself it takes time! Right now, I'm trying to focus on my health and exercise....not easy to try and relax!

Keep us posted and I hope you get a BFP soon!!

7 years ago


SarahS28,
It's funny how that works. You are led to believe growing up that you can conceive at anytime from just having sex, then I'm actually ready to try and get this huge wake up call lol. Today I'm 10dpo and AF is expected tomorrow. I'm feeling like I'm out of the game because I had EWCM today and I know that comes with a period (sorry tmi). This is the first cycle monitoring my CM. this is my first cycle actively trying and if I'm not it will be disappointing because my DH will be out of town on business for my next 2 fertile Windows so I could be out until August and that has me feeling so bummed out. My DH is super optimistic so that is also nice. I feel like he may be too optimistic he swears our first will be a girl and has already picked a name so I feel so much pressure. He also is the oldest of his siblings and his mom is pressuring him for grandchildren. Sorry for my rant but this place is nice to be able to share.

7 years ago


We are totally in the same boat with our husbands being gone during our fertile window. I don't think you will have a problem because if your age. I bought the book what to expect before you are expecting and I think it's an ok book. I believe that some of the information works against you like talking about age and weight etc but I think it all happens with time. Consistency is key and trying is a great way to get to know your body. Never give up hope. I had a coworker who just had a baby after 6 years of ttc. Healthy beautiful baby, I don't know your story but my fingers are crossed that we Weill get our BFP this year and I definitely will stick around. I chart my systoms daily so that when it happens for me I will be able to accurately share the information for others trying to conceive. The most confusing all over the web has been wether or not CM can determine if you are pregnant so I've been focusing on that to help someone who had been trying to figure out the answer to that question. Best of luck and tons of Baby dust.

7 years ago


ihardy12, we are sort of in the "not trying, not preventing" phase but I like to track everything and I would obviously like it to happen sooner than later. I know my chances are still ok, but the percentage went from 25% for those under 30 (I think) to about 15% chance over. So that sucks. Yeah, the out of town thing sucks, but luckily is only until Sept. Once I figure out my ov/fertile window, that will help. I've only been off BC since AF in April so this is only the start of cycle 3, which isn't bad. I just am ready!! It's a lot to think about but I'm sure it'll happen when it's meant to. It can def be confusing with all the information out there. Best of luck and keep us posted!

7 years ago


Hi Ladies,
Sorry I have been quiet this week- really thought we would have caught it this month- I was relaxed, eating great, exercising moderately everyday and we did it a lot during my fertile window (1-2 times each day of my window). I was really hoping that I could surprise DH with the news on Father's Day, but no such luck.
I am regretting not starting to ttc earlier, we have been together for almost 11 years but I wanted to finish my PhD and was into my first post doc when we finally decided to 'not try but not prevent' for a year and over 2 years later, we still haven't had a BFP. I think I will give it until August (I had some weight to lose and have half of it gone, so it should all be gone by then) and then I am going to the fertility clinic (we already have a referral) and see what they have to say. I feel like everywhere I look there are pregnant women and I just stings right now. Super bummered.

Good luck to those of you who are able to try this cycle!

7 years ago



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