Community post


Current 11dpo looking for fellow first timers for support

Hi all, we have been TTC our first for 6 months now and I have been on these boards reading almost every single day, this process has now gotten so obsessive to me my DH is tired of me over analyzing everything only to be let down with a BFN every single month.

I'm 11dpo now, AF is due on Saturday (5/14) and I have taken probably 6 internet cheapies since 9dpo and I keep getting BFN. Every month I feel like I get the symptoms, then just chalk them up to AF time. This month has been a bit different:

0-7dpo: Not much change, I just noticed I was VERY gassy (like I am during AF) and bloated
8dpo: breasts got very tender and I was woken up to cramps during the night.
9dpo: breasts still tender, starting to get noticeable veins, mild cramps on and off again waking me up in the night. BFN (tested today because of Mother's Day, thought it would be a sign and a welcome surprise)
10dpo: Still bloated/gassy, breast tenderness goes down, veins disappearing, thick CM appears BFN
11dpo: Today - breasts only sore to the touch. Still bloated and gassy. No hints of anything else.

I am one who has VERY painful cramps at AF time and never thought I really cramped beforehand, the last few months I've gotten these mild cramps a couple of days early which then led to AF, but this time they were a full 7 days before AF which has never happened and I feel this is making me obsess even more.

I hope you ladies accept me into the community! I just know and hope having some support will help ease my mind and if another BFN pops up I know I will need the help to get through it and start from scratch again :(

713 Replies • 1 year ago


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Hello babybump89!

I am currently 8 dpo (and on holidays while DH is not) so am going a little crazy with the tww business!

It's hard to say how long we have been ttcing. I got off the pill March 2014 at age 32 and we decided to "see what happens", fully expecting to be pregnant within at least a year. I wasn't, so I went to my doctor last summer and got blood work done. My hormones were good, but B12 was off the charts at only 112. I started supplementing every day and went back in Oct and my levels are great. In the meantime I have had two ultrasounds and all looks well with my lady parts. We did get a referral to the fertility clinic, but have been totally avoiding going, hoping it will happen naturally. DH hasn't been tested and is on the fence whether he wants to be tested.

I noticed before my B12 was regulated that my cycles were not regular. I would have some that were 24-25 days long (no idea if I was even ovulating since I wasn't temping or using opk's at the time) and others were as long as 29 days. Since my Oct/Nov cycle I am a consistent 28 days give or take 12 hours (could be evening of CD 27 or morning of CD 29). So I am trying to convince myself that we have only been viably ttcing for 6-7 months!

Here are my symptoms:

0-5dpo: Nothing really, a few hot flushes on DPO 1-2

6 dpo: Stomach was really upset in the evening

7 dpo: Felt some twinges, stabby type pains (could be in my head though as I have felt similar pains before with no result)

8 dpo: Mother's Day - I got a little weepy and sad after wishing what seemed like all my friends a happy mother's day and knew that nothing was going to be coming my way - I am usually not into a pitty party and have actually never cried over a BPN, so it was really odd to be so choked up and started crying when DH sensed something was up and asked me what was wrong.

10 dpo: strong sense of smell, dizzy/lightheaded in the evening and sorry if this is TMI, but major bout of diarreha in the afternoon, like literally had to run.

AF is not due for me until next Wednesday, so I am going to try and hold out to test until after AF is due (can't handle seeing the stark white BFN's)!

How are things today? Did you decide to test again?

1 year ago

I know exactly how you feel! I did try testing again this morning with another internet cheapie and I psyched myself up before for the BFN, no surprise there. I went in with high hopes and expected the first month we started trying it would happen, they tell you all the time growing up how easy it is but its actually very difficult to make happen! I've been off the pill for 6 years or so now and our only "preventive" was withdrawal so I'm worried about that - but DH doesn't want me to schedule any Doctor visits until this 6th month mark is officially another fail.

My cycles average 27-29 days, I went back tracking my last 8 months and it has arrived about 3-4 days early each time which means it COULD come today, but the BFN is still so sad to see when I expect a faint line at least!

Mother's day really screwed up a lot of us I think, I was so sure that was a sign and that testing on M Day would give me that bfp.

Those stark white BFN's are the worst, I keep shining lights directly on them trying to convince myself there could be a line, but I can't even tell where the line WOULD show up.

Keep me posted on yours! Hopefully you'll get an early one!

1 year ago • Post starter

It's so funny how our brains work, I was thinking the same thing - wouldn't it be great if I actaully was pregnant this mothers day. DH and I live in a different province than both our parents and we are going back to see them the end of June, both our Dad's turn 65 in June and it's his parents are having their 40th wedding anniversary. Part of me is so hopeful that we could tell them "the news" when we go back. We'll see what happens, it just feels like it's been so long with no result that it seems foolish sometimes to get my hopes up!

Men are so relaxed about all this, when I had my mini breakdown on Mother's day, DH didn't know what to do - to be honest I was a little blindsided by it too. We had talked about it all week, what we were going to do for our mothers, and none of it made me think about the fact that I wasn't one yet! He feels if it's meant to be, it'll be. We both want kids, but have seen friends go through heavy duty fertility treatment (mulitple IUI's and IVF cycles, several surgeries and are now looking into adoption). It's been so hard on them and we really don't feel like we want to go that far to ttc, but it's so hard to not obsess, especailly since I have been given the all clear so far.

My fingers are crossed that your cramping is a good sign and thank you for letting me vent! Sometimes I feel like my body is screaming at me that I should have a one track mind of ttcing!

1 year ago

Oh no, venting is fine! I appreciate having someone else going through the same things to talk with because DH is tired of me telling him every little "symptom" then it being a fluke, so he says just wait until I'm late and then he'll start believing it lol!

When we started trying I was hoping that my mother's day gift to my mom would be sharing that news, so each holiday or event that comes up I just think "well here's another one where that won't be the case". All of our siblings and even sibling-in-law siblings are all announcing pregnancies or just had babies so we're turning into that couple of "when are you having kids?" and its a little rough to answer since we've been actively trying.

We've kind of written it off too of how far we want to go for it, I know it can be very stressful and expensive to take other routes. I'm kind of to the point if it didn't happen this time with how much we added (preseed, no caffeine, folic acid pills, among other things) then I just want to know 100% whether it can happen or not and put it out of my mind!

I can't imagine being on holiday and having nothing to occupy. I teach, so during the day I only obsess 50% of the time lol once I'm home though, it's all I do! My DH is out for summer already, but he doesn't have as much to stress over as me!

I really hope this is the month for both of us! Your symptoms sound like what Ive done every month, I swear I have the same symptoms every time!

1 year ago • Post starter

Well I just saw I had a very little bit of watery/light pink spotting - This is new! Every other month when I've thought I had spotting it was brownish, but this was very clearly watery and light light pink and only there when wiping. So this either is a very good sign, or AF is coming right on time in the next 24 hours. UGH why does it tease so much!?

Sorry for the TMI. lol

1 year ago • Post starter

Oh my goodness! I am so excited for you! I hope it's implantation bleeding, it's around the right time for it!

That is so funny, I am teacher too! I teach at a college, so we have either May and June or July and August off. I have heard really good things about preseed. I am thinking about trying it next month along with maybe softcups to see if that will help (at least it won't hurt!). I automatically just function under the assumption that I am not pregnant to keep myself sane! lol

Other than that this month I have been limiting myself to 1 coffee or less a day (new) and then supplementing with a prenatal vit, B12 and D3 (new) and using OPK's (haven't done in a while).

I totally understand the "when are you having kids?" questions. We started getting those a couple of years ago, especially from his side (we've been together almost 11 years). He is an only child, and the only one of the grandchildren on his father's side that has any prospects of giving his grandma a great grand baby. It's only me and my sister in my family and she is 38 and not trying anytime soon, so the family pressure has definitely been on! They mostly now know we have been trying for over a year, so the have been kind enough to stop asking questions at least.

Keep me posted if there are any more changes! My fingers are crossed for you!

1 year ago

Oh see I'm in a high school and he teaches college, so he got out 3 weeks before me! I envy your college schedules!

We've been together about 9 years now, married for 3 - but both of us have older siblings so we were thinking wait for both of them to have kids and then we can start officially trying, well they've both beaten us by months and like i said now THEIR siblings are starting to have babies too so we have nieces and nephews galore!

I say we got preseed, but I actually got this other brand that was called conceive plus from Amazon which is supposed to do the same thing. I used it every other night during fertile week and a bit before/after, there were 8 in the box and I used 7! It didn't feel any different and didn't leave a mess or anything so I feel like it couldn't HURT to use it. If it didn't happen I will probably get the official "preseed" I see people talking about.

I don't drink coffee, Im bad with soda though so I've tried switching to sprite to replace the caffeine. I even stupidly cut out baths and switched to just quick lukewarm showers with the door open so I wouldn't raise my body temperature. Just so many silly little things that gave me hope this month! I don't think 1 coffee a day will hurt, I slipped and had an occasional soda but everything I've read says not to go over a certain amount and 1 cup a day isn't going to hurt that!

1 year ago • Post starter

I'm 11dpiui..
And presently feel like AF is coming.. but on and off discomfort.
We are ttc our #1 for more than a year now..
I had lower abdomen cramps on 3 & 4dpiui and also 7 & 8dpiui..
And now also at 11dpiui.

1 year ago

Personalchild when is AF due for you? Everything I've read says its supposed to feel like AF is coming and you just want it to go on by without showing! How bad were your cramps? Mine were very very mild, just enough to cause discomfort, and they didn't last long roughly around the same time as you!

1 year ago • Post starter

Hi personalchild - as long as AF doesn't show up, you are still in the running.

So this is totally TMI but I went out for a walk (trying to stick to moderate intensity cardio after ovulation) and started feeling wetness. When I got home there was a lot of cream, lotiony cm. I don't want to read to much into it, but it's the first time I've had anything like it.

How you doing babybump89 - still getting some spotting?

Fingers crossed ladies!

1 year ago

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