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Pregnant friend want me to assume the worst...

I have a friend who was TTC for several months and just found out in July that she's pregnant. I am extremely happy for her and wish her the very best.

This morning I got a text from her that said this: "I dont think you should put too much thought into this. In my experience it took a long time to find out the good news. When I gave up and stopped thinking about it, it happened. Listen to my advice so when you start your period this sunday you wont be as disappointed"

Does anyone else find that saying something like that to someone who has been TTC for months as well, a bit harsh? I'm anxious and trying to relax but excitedly awaiting the weekend to find out if i get my period or not, and I'm told to not put effort into it cause it's likely not to happen. It really put a damper on my morning :'(

Anybody else have a friend or friend(s) that have told you things like this?
I feel like she is not putting herself back in her own shoes a few months back. Cause I think she'd remember feeling exactly the way I do right now...


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5 Replies • 12 years ago


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I think that definitely does sound a bit harsh to you right now, as it would for me.

But I think your friend may just have your best interests in mind. Maybe she IS remembering how she felt a few months back and trying to encourage you not to get your hopes up so that if you don't get a BFP you won't be crushed. She probably is thinking how it felt every time she got a BFN. & if you do get BFP then you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Maybe you should talk to her about it and let her know how her saying that made you feel!

Good luck and baby dust your way!

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12 years ago


I have heard this a lot. But I really don't think it's true. When I was trying to get pregnant with my last daughter, I was just as obsessed as I am now and it only took 2 cycles. My sister tells me I need to just relax and it will happen but how can we relax. I don't think it's possible for us women who obsess to relax. Anyway, I wouldn't take it to be offensive. Hope you get your BFP


Paradise

12 years ago


I hate when people/doctors are like "Oh just relax, stop obsessing and have a glass of wine." Gee, why didn't I think of that? Llike it's just that easy. Like they have this great idea that no one else has ever thought of. It's so easy for people to say that when they have never been through a miscarriage or months of TTC and disappointment. Whatever!

Love, do what you need to do - if you need to obsess over EVERY little thing then you do that! I'm right behind you (doing the same thing!).


Daisypath Anniversary tickersNotes:

12 years ago


Thank you :) Reading all the support makes me feel alot better! It takes one little sperm and one little egg to join to make a baby. Thinking about it often is not gonna hinder that (if i did conceive this month) Another woman has said, i quote, "F*** the first month. It doesn't matter. Ask anyone." lol. where are these people getting their information???


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12 years ago • Post starter


When you said, "Thinking about it often is not gonna hinder that (if i did conceive this month)", it reminded of what I've been trying to tell myself too...that talking about it isn't going to make it happen or not happen. I feel like talking about it too much is considered to be bad luck...but the egg is either fertilized or not...my talking or hoping, or chatting with you ladies, isn't going to stop that process.

Good luck to you, and tell your friend that you appreciate her if she is trying to help, but you would prefer positive attitudes, as that is what you are trying to have through all of the ttc.


Jessi

12 years ago


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