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13 dpo BFN, feeling hopeless

Today is dpo 13, it's around noon now and I have already tested twice today, both BFN. Starting testing already from dpo 7.

3 months ago I was happily pregnant. Imagining how life would be like with 2 kids, and how happy my DD will be having a sibling. If that pregnancy had gone smoothly, DD will be 16 months old when she has her little brother/sister. My husband and I were so excited about the addition to the family. However, I started spotting one day, get an ultrasound done, can't find baby's heartbeat at 10 weeks. Baby stopped growing at about 7 weeks. The next day I miscarried. We were in a lot of pain.

We have been ttc for 3 month now. Nobody at home seems to understand how stressful I feel trying to conceive after a miscarriage. It's dpo 13 today and it is still negative. Let's face it, it is not going to be positive tomorrow, even if it is, it is going to be very very faint, which probably means that it is not a healthy pregnancy. With the last M/C, I tested 14 dpo and it is a faint line. Right now I feel absolutely hopeless, and don't know what else I can do to make sure to be conceived next time around. If having sex on ovulation day does not cause pregnancy, I really don't know what else to do, sometimes I want to say I don't want to deal with it anymore. My husband would say, stressing out about it would only make things worse. I know. I guess I am supposed to not be stressed out about it, pretend that there is no 2ww, just go on with my life and do kickboxing everyday like I used to, drink coffee and alcohol at will, eat sashimi and rare prime rib with no guilt?? I know DH wants us to be pregnant again just as much as I want to. But I cannot tell myself not to stress out, and somehow when he tells me to do so, is feels like as if he is saying if we don't get pregnant, it is because I stress out all the time.... I feel so alone, I don't want to stress him out either, my AF is gonna come, I'm probably just moody... Thanks for reading and letting me vent.

19 Replies • 10 years ago



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I have never had a mc so cant comment on what you have been through but please try sta possitive you arent out untill af shows up.

I read every day about BFP not untill upto 16 DPO and its a healthy baby so good luck x

10 years ago

Thanks for your support :) It's good to know that getting bfp at 16 dpo can also be a healthy baby!

10 years ago • Post starter

I am TTC after a miscarriage. It was the worst pain in my life and it truly feels like no one can understand it.
I am surrounded by good friends and family who are all either pregnant or have babies under 1 year and it is so hard when they tell you to relax and what a great mum your will be someday. If only that day would come.

AF should have come today, it hasn't so far, and all I have is a single line. I have also wondered if the lateness of a second line showing up relates to how healthy the pregnancy is. It feels very hopeless.

Last night i was really nauseated after dinner, and now I have no symptoms at all, so I am now convinced I am going crazy and subconsciously making my self sick!

I am now at the stage of wishing AF would appear so i can have a big cry and look forward to the next cycle. I cannot believe how much worse the TWW is after a miscarriage.

I feel for you and identify with your stress and pain. I hope your answer comes soon so you can relax. :)

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10 years ago

I am so sorry for your loss. I can understand your pain. Anyone who hasn't had a M/C cannot. Most people don't think it's a big deal, are they ever so wrong. I wasn't able to emotionaly handle TTC again for over a year. Just started back TTC in June. I hope that you get your answer soon so you can relax and go on with what you need to do next, whichever the outcome. Sending you lots of sticky baby dust.
Hang in there~ :)

10 years ago

I am also trying to conceive after a MC ...second cycle now. Af is due on monday. took a digital ept on 9dpo and got negative. But I could swear i look heavier...bloated..but not bloated feeling, gas, peeing often...I really want to b..I am obsessed I find myself staring at my boobs to see if they are darker or spider veiny

10 years ago

Gsquared: It is so funny you said that about the veins, I had my partner come into the bathroom to study my boobs yesterday, i was CERTAIN they were veinier! He just gave me a hug and pulled me away from the mirror. i guess they look the same to him. sigh.

Well, still no and still for me.

Yummyegg? How are you doing? Did come or did you get a nice surprise?

to everyone, I guess we will all get our answers within a few days but gee it is hard waiting.


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10 years ago

Hi Ladies! Today is dpo 15, was expecting AF last night, it is now around 2:30pm and still don't have AF, and of course still BFN.... I'm starting to wonder what's going on with my body!!

Thanks for all your cares :) I'll keep posting!!

Baby Dust to everyone!!

10 years ago • Post starter

I know how you feel. I had D&C after MC at 8 weeks. Waited one cycle and ttc again. Cycle seemed to be back as normal.

Positive OPK on day 12 and ttc day 11,12,13&14. Feeling nauseous on and off and have had slight twinges in back and stomach but nothing major. also had bad gas but BFN today 12dpo and am going crazy analyzing every twinge/feeling.

Is it normal to obsess about this? I have one baby but can't remember what it was like to be pregnant or what it was like before the MC. Is is still possible to be pregnant after BFN 12dpo?

10 years ago

I heard that it is still possible to have BFP after 12 dpo, some people miss AF, and get BFN all the way until past 16 dpo or later.... I don't want to get everybody hopes up too much... I'm going through the same thing myself, I'm 16 dpo and still BFN, AF still not here...

10 years ago • Post starter

Fingers crossed your AF doesn't come and all works out.

I tested again this morning and BFN. My husband keeps saying it is too soon to test. I was sure I was pregnant this month. I am starting to think that my 'symptoms' were either just normal cycle or I am stressing myself out so much in this TWW they are symptoms because of that. I keep thinking maybe I ovulated late...but I had a positive OT so know pretty much when I did. Oh well, there is still a little hope!

I also meant to mention that I have been getting lower back pain on and off sometimes quite painful but only for a few seconds...anyone else had this?

10 years ago

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