Community post

Rebecca, as I was reading that I thought 'yep that is my thoughts right now'... LOL! Thank you for the support and encouragement. I'm sorry you took such an emotional hit tonight. Big hugs!

AFM, total emotional roller coaster.... the cramping has stopped and nothing. Sigh!

Hi girls! I'm new here and I would love to join you all!

A little background on me: 32 (thin pcos'er) TTC #1 for 4 years. This is my third cycle using Soy Iso. The first cycle I O'd on CD16. Second cycle was a lot different with the SI. It seems that my cycle was back to its old tricks. To be fair, first cycle I took SI with Geritol only. Second cycle, I incorporated Royal Jelly and Inositol. I read recently that I should not use SI with any other suppliments. I also chanced my SI dosage from 160 CD 3-6 and 200 CD 7 First cycle to 80 CD 3-4, 160 CD 5-6, 200 CD 7 second cycle. I'm sure I delayed my O by doing all of that experimenting .

With all that said, this cycle I am going back to my first cycle regime which was:
160mg CD3-6 200 CD7 + Geritol Tonic entire cycle.
I haven't gotten any clear answers of what Geritol does but I can tell you it produces EWCM and makes you eager to BD for sure! I think I will use my RJ after my last SI dosage. If I don't get a BFP this cycle, I think I will use Letrozol as prescribed by my RE. Although, I'd much rather the natural stuff. I took Letrozol back in June and it made me crazy as hell! I pray I get my BFP this cycle!
Baby Dust to all!

Welcome blushingtc!
I'm learning about the natural options as we go, pbc90 probably will be able to do her insights!
This is a great group of strong and determined women!

Rebecca and Christi: it must had been in the water. Omg I had a meltdown tonight. Nothing out of the extraordinary just a bit sensitive, still hurt. And my heart goes to you Christi during this difficult time.
I had only one miscarriage, it was a missed miscarriage and I don't think I will ever forget the deception of going in the office to hear the heartbeat and the silence in the room, I picked up right away there was something very wrong. I passed the angel at home. No need for medical intervention. And I was able to lay it to rest.
Intense....
Sometimes I feel that I will only be able to be okay again once I conceive n progress with a healthy pregnancy but I know I can't feel this way. But I am sure whoever had a miscarriage can relate, feels like u have no floor anymore. U can't explain the emptiness. I was frustrated with my body still wanting to be pregnant when the baby had stopped growing. i had no idea what a missed miscarriage was... i also think I will feel better once I pass the date when angel was due... I was supposed to be pregnant right now... How can I ignore this fact? And here I am ttc a rainbow...
Very conflicting...
Mixed feelings and emotions.
And amazing the strength that I get from you all. The support the courage the never give up attitude ... Consoles my soul.
I'm trying to still wrap my head around this whole thing and yes strong women must unload sometimes. This site has helped me in my healing process. Before I suffered quietly as nobody close to me could relate to what I was going thru...
So, there will be days where we just need to let it out, to get rid of the pain, and there will be many more days where we will be helping our buddies, exchanging information, jumping up n down for bfp's, answering questions, possibly doing good witchcrafts together, saying prayers, u name it...
On a side note: today the driver in front of me at McDonald's drive thru paid for my iced hazelnut coffee - I was pleasantly surprised- my dh thinks it was flirt I think it was a random act of kindness ... I paid it forward helping a homeless doggie who was thirsty... ( n helping at the cafeteria during lunch with my daughters). I love animals and kids. Today I can say it counted!
Good nite everyone !

i'm officially out for a June baby so I thought I'd hop over here with the rest of you lovely ladies. I hope that October brings lots of bfps for everyone here.

Blushingtc, welcome. I have been on Letrozol now for a year (as I was not successful on Clomid). Clomid made me a raging witch.... Letrozol made me really hormonal but only for the first cycle.... then after that there were only minimal things! I hope that comforts you a bit if you chose to go back on it! The 3 pregnancies I have had the past 10 months were because of the Letrozol, it works for me and pray (if the natural remedies don't work) that it works for you! Good luck and baby dust!

GVMDL, thank you. It is a feeling like no other for sure. I know how difficult it is... I have passed a due date, and getting close to one, and then this one. It is crushing, but I know whatever is meant for me will come. I just have to believe that! My first 2 were passed at home, one with medical induction and the other naturally. We were hoping naturally on this one as well... guess we will see what the RE says today. Today is my son's football game, so I am praying I will be there... if this starts and is anything like last time, I will be home. I never miss a game so that would just kill me.

AFM, Blood draw this morning... this could get interesting. LOL! I have lots of bruises on both arms from them getting me... wonder where they will stick me today. Ha! Hope everyone has a great day.

Thank you for the welcome GVMDL7003 & Cristi78602!

Thank you for the advise on Letrozol Cristi!

GVMDL7003, you are certainly right about loss and recovery. After four looooong years ttc after my ectopic, I am finally healed. Do I still think about the fact that I could have a three year old? Everyday! But, I also think about all that my DH and I have accomplished just in our marriage since then and I become grateful. Not for the loss but for my healing process. It has been a long road and honestly, it has been most recent that I have felt free and not controlled by my hurt. When I say recent, I mean the last 6 or 7 weeks! Even seeing an RE increasing my odds of a BFP wasn't helping.

After my second BFN under the care of my RE, I realized that there was something I was missing. Like God wanted me to hear something and my life was too crowded with everyone and everything else to hear it. So I decided to shut off from the world for two weeks. I let the people close to me know but I didn't tell them exactly why. DH and I moved from Atlanta to KY for his job about a year ago and since being here, I've worked out of the home. That made it much easier to stay away from people. Social Media was a hard one thought. Especially since I run a photography business. UGH! But, for two weeks I decided that I would only do SM for 2 hrs every evening.

I begin writing letters to myself as well as just writing in general. In my writing I questioned whether or not I really wanted kids since its taking me so long. I mean, God knows the true desires of our hearts right. So, maybe He knows I don't want kids in my heart. Welp, shortly after that, it hit me like a ton of bricks that God wants me to be whole before I have this baby! He wants me to be able to the the mother that I desire to be. To be able to teach my children what life has taught me. He wants me to put ME FIRST! So that I can teach my children to do the same. This is important for me because I am the "big sister" and "advisor" for all of my friends and family. I always answer their calls just incase they "need" me. Yet, they're so wrapped up in their own drama, they forget to ask if I'm ok. Or simply say, I'm praying for you. So, I stopped answering texts and phone calls right away. I'll get to it when I get to it.

Boy! Do I feel free! Just two weeks of this has taught me the most valuable thing: They will be ok! Here I am still mourning the loss of my baby. Stuck. They have had financial, job, home, man, you name it issues over and over again. I've lost sleep over these people and the next day, they're back to whatever it is that caused the issue in the first place! When I make comments on it, they say things like "you think you know everything" or "you have a solution to everybody's problems". WHOA! Time to go! I will not be undervalued or under appreciated by anyone. Now when they call me, I just listen and ask them what they're going to do about their issue. When they tell me, I say "I think that's a good idea for you".

Some other things I started doing during this process is meditating and listening to a Hypno-Fertility recording. I would go on my balcony on my yoga mat with some tea and read some of Jackie Mizes book "SuperNatural Childbirth" and read out loud some of the Confessions and prayers she suggests in the book. Now, its starting to get cold and really buggy so I stay indoors. LOL! Nonetheless, I've created a ritual for myself everyday. I want to be whole. I want my children to be whole. I want to be free of worry because I know from experience that watching your mother worry causes you to worry. I don't want that for my babies. I want them to be happy, honest, and free.

Anyways, I'm sorry for the loooong post but, I really believe that my process is not just for me. I have to share it with anyone willing to listen. It is how I serve God. I feel like my recent part of the process has helped me cope with doubt more. I'm able to recover from the feeling of depression much quicker now. I'm not suggesting what I do for anyone else, I'm just simply letting you girls know what is working for me.

Thanks for listening!
Oh, and GVMDL7003 you are sooooo right about not having anyone to listen and relate. These forums are a God send!

Welcome Blushingtc!

Cd17, no ovulation in sight, OPKs are getting lighter. Might be another horrible cycle in sight w/no ovulation. :(

PS: I need a new job. This is too much.

Blushingtc: I enjoyed your post! It is right on!
I totally get it. Very similar here with me.

I'm glad that we are all here supporting one another and remind one another to remain strong n positive!

Christi: I hope u can make it to the game dear.

Afm: I called my doc to ask about my results
But results r not in yet. As soon as I get them I will post them.
Gives us something to look forward too!

Acrichton: no ovulation? Oh my.... Any chance to f/up w blood work testing? I'm sorry dear... Are u bd'ing anyways just because?
As for the job: look on www.indeed.com

I worked for many years in the hr department, from recruiting to benefits, so believe me it is drama filled on daily basis. Was hard to draw the line n not bring aggravation home. I work now for my husband as his office manager, but I still want to go back to hr. I would like to get out of the house n interact w ppl. I loved my job doing benefits... Folks still call me asking for insights....

I will play the lottery so I can save as many animals as I can, that will keep me very bz!

I have 4 big dogs, 2 kitties (1 blind) n 2 kind hearted mini me's wonderful daughters.

Hope we all have a wonderful day!

Blushing-what you said was beautiful and helped me just now put things in perspective. Ive said this before but having step kids as I do makes you constantly craving to a mom. I'm not their mom but I do play a maternal role. Every day I wish I could finally be "mom" to my own. I too also play the adviser role and no one checks to see how I am doing. I recently had to cut toxic people from my life bc it wasnt worth it. Enough of my rambling, welcome and I also live in KY.

Cristi- hope you get some definitive answers this morning!

Gvmdl, Cristi and the others that have experienced loss - I admire your strength. I can't imagine the emotions but I'm sure that we will all get our BFPs!

Acrichton- don't give up hope. I have had plenty of wonky cycles with neg to almost pos to neg to actual positive opks. I don't know why our bodies have to be so complicated!

Blushing: Welcome

And wow for your post. After 31 cycles I have yet to even conceive. In a way I'm thankful for that. I honestly don't know what a miscarriage would even do to my emotional well being. After reading what you said, a book that I read came to mind. I think this would be a good read for not only you, but for every one of the ladies here. After reading this book it changed the way I thought about a lot of things and helped me work on my self, which really needed to be done. The book is titled "In the Meantime" the author is Iyanla Vanzant. She is a remarkable woman and writes from the heart. I definitely suggest reading this book and anything else she's written.