Community post

Experience with Condoms not working?

DH and I are both older (49 and 39). We have a two year old child, but have had three miscarriages prior, one of which was ectopic. When I got my period after my son was born in 2019, I thought that I did not want any more children, just as my husband did not want any more children. I had an IUD placed for several months, but I continued to have cramping and bleeding 5 months after placement, so I had it removed. My husband and I agreed that birth control was his responsibility because my body does not respond well to hormonal birth control, and he has always worn a condom when we have DTD. However, heart seems to have taken a turn on the prospect for having another child. My husband, in no way, wants another child. I have brought up adoption, fostering, and trying to conceive naturally. He has valid reasons for not wanting more children. However, I very much would love for my son to have a sibling. The last time we DTD was in the middle of my cycle. I do believe that I was ovulating. I am pretty good at determining that by cervical mucus and cervix position. My breasts began hurting last week. If I ovulated when I thought I did, I would be nine DPO today. When I mentioned to DH that I was having breast tenderness and the possibility of pregnancy, he looked at me and said, “I think I’m going to pass out or be sick.” He then went on to say that I should take a test. I told him that it was too early to take a test. ( This was last week when I told him about my breast tenderness.) He suggested that I get an abortion if I was pregnant. I was literally in shock that he suggested that. We had several conversations over several days about the fact that abortion is not an option or choice that I would choose. I couldn’t believe that he would even mention that. I feel very alone in all of this. He has apologized and said that he wouldn’t resent me or a baby, if I were pregnant, but quickly followed that up with, “But we aren’t pregnant or going to get pregnant.” I suggested a vasectomy, seeing as condoms aren’t 100% fool proof. He said he would look into it. I have taken a test at 9 DPO and while it isn’t clear whether the results are + or -, I somehow feel like I’m pregnant. I’m going to test again tomorrow or the next day. Has anyone else been through this before? I’m a bundle of emotions over here and it’s not something I can talk about with most of my friends and family. Thanks for reading this, if you’ve gotten this far. If you’re in a similar boat, I’m here if you need to share.

Sending lots of love and hopes for a bright future your way!

2 Answers • 2 years ago • Edited

0 0 0 0