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Just needing to vent

This may be a little long but just wanted to post somewhere....
When I was young I always wanted a big family. I am the second of 4 children. We were always fairly close with one another and I always dreamed of having a house full of kids. Fast forward, I’m 13, my Mom and I discussed birth control, she was a teen mom and wanted to make sure I was protected. I hadn’t had my first period yet but my Dr said I was okay to start it anyways. Couple years later, I’m 16 and meet my now husband. After some struggle with weight gain and other things I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and told I may have issue having children. Not a big deal I was 16 and having children wasn’t really in the plans but started on metformin. When I was 17 and in college I decided to stop my birth control and my hubby and I didn’t really use condoms. After 6 months of no period and negative pregnancy tests and blood tests I went and saw my Dr. He said it could take up to 2 years before my periods returned to normal but told me to book an appointment with my Gynaecologist if I was really concerned and so I did. After having a roughly 2 hour visit, my Gynaecologist referred me to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. He ran AMH levels and some other blood tests and it was discovered that I was born with a rare genetic disorder, non classic Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia, that caused me to not be able to ovulate. It was determined through AMH levels that I had never dropped an egg and was told that with treatment I would have a very high chance of conceiving as long as my partner had good sperm quality. Again, we were 18, and not ready for children yet. A couple months before my 22nd birthday, we made an appointment with my Reproductive Endocrinologist to discuss treatments options. We were told that there were a couple options for us but we would start with oral medications and that my hubby would have to do a sperm test. It all came back with passing grades and so we figured perfect this will be a breeze. Well let me tell you it has been the farthest thing from a breeze. The first lockdown began just days before my 22nd birthday. My husband and I decided we would wait till the pandemic calmed down before trying and we were told the same. It wasn’t really a big deal because It gave us time to establish our careers and buy our first house!! We officially started trying for baby #1 in October of 2020. We were confident at first and figured it would take 3-4 cycles to get pregnant. During my 3rd cycle of Letrozole, we had a a appointment my and were told if that cycle didn’t work we would up my dose and try that for 3 cycles and then talk again. During my 6th cycle we had another appointment and we were told that if this cycle didn’t work that would be the end of medicated cycles and we would be on to IVF. We were absolutely crushed and heartbroken. He said normally they would try Intra Uterine Insemination first but due to covid and us living almost 9 hours away that wasn’t an option. He agreed to let us have 3 more rounds while we wait on the IVF list for the call. That afternoon I took a test and had a second line! It ended in a chemical. I am now on cycle 7 and waiting to see if this is the month I see those 2 perfect lines. It’s been a hard 7 months learning my body and adjusting to all the new hormones that I am not used to. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a mom. They never tell you how hard it can be and how mentally exhausting trying to have a baby can be. It’s been a rough month. I only have 2 more chances before I start IVF. My husband and I have talked about this and will only be doing 1 cycle due to costs. I have accepted that I may only be able to have 1 child and I am honestly just looking forward to having 1 perfect healthy little bean to call our own??

2 Replies • 6 weeks ago


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I didn’t wanna read and run. I hope you get what heart desires

6 weeks ago


Hi there—you got pregnant! I know it ended in a chemical which is awful but pregnant just the same. I would say if you have the patience -keep trying for a little longer to see if you can achieve it naturally. At 22 years old you do have time on your side. That being said-always trust your gut and your doctor’s recommendations. Best wishes! X


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6 weeks ago


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