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ZHPBBs

stressed

So i have been babysitting a church members baby since he was 2 months old. he is a very difficult baby. in the begining he only nap 30 minutes or less and had to be held constantly. Now he will sleep a little but maybe only a hr. He wines a lot and cries if i walk away or leave him on the floor to play now that he can crawl. I have to be up at 430am so i can thaw his milk his mom brings and change my sons diaper and give him something to drink before baby is dropped off at 5am. I usually dont go back to sleep because when i do someone wakes up, baby is being diffcult to put to sleep or i have trouble going back to sleep and by the time i do my kids are up which is usually around 7am. My children are 4 and 3. Trying to potty train my 3 yr old son, while also trying to get some kind of education lesson in is hard when theres a baby screaming all the time. even my daughter who loves the baby says he is too loud and his mommy needs to pick him up. She is usually at my house by 3:30pm. She works in a Care Center for the elderly and her husband is military. when i first agreeed to watch him i though it was going to be from 8am to maybe 2pm, i was only charging 300 a month. after it became from 6 hrs to almost 11hrs right off the bat, i asked for more pay but she told me they couldnt afford it. (husband has 2 other children from a previous relasionship). I am exausted all the time cause i cant nap when i have two other kids. Im stressed with his crying all the time cause she cosleeps and he wants to be held. I also thinks she gets him as soon as he wines. I cant give my children the attention they deserve. But i feel kinda in a bind because she wont find cheap childcare and plus during this Covid stuff its going to be hard to find a center. Most caregivers charge 15 to 20$ a hr. her i am only making $1.78? hr. I shouldve charged her $5 a hour at miniumum if they were in such finaicalstraights. I did tell her come septmeber im going to need a more open schecule if im starting fertility treatment (which was code for me telling her im quitting) but she didnt get it and asked if i can make my appts wendsday cause she has a friend who can watch him. She also has no family leaving close (arizona and California). I was thinking of giving her till the end of September to find someone but maybe ill just say by the begining of Se[tember. Im losing my mind. Im not a good person to be around when im exausted. Its not fair to the baby if im stressed. he needs someone one on one with not other children present.I love him but he is worse then my son, who was extremly colicky for the 1st yr of his life. my son at least had a scedule and took naps.i told my husband ill tell her today. its just a awful spot to be in. knowing bshe has no one else.