Community post

Hi! I'm so sorry that you're not being supported properly by your provider.

My advice is to find a new one right away. Dismissing legitimate concerns as female "hysteria" screams misogyny and is a huge red flag. They sounds like the sort of provider that will not provide informed consent, because they "know best." This leads often to obstetric violence and traumatic birth. This is my opinion informed by being a doula and patients' rights' advocate. You may like him otherwise, but that comment independently really struck a cord for me.

As far as an ectopic goes, they generally watch to see if HCG doubles as it should. If it does, it usually indicates that the pregnancy is not an ectopic one. However, if your pain continues and you're HCG is high enough to see a gestational sac on an ultrasound, competent providers will order an ultrasound. Ectopic pregnancies are a high risk of harm whereas ultrasounds are a low risk procedure.

Diarrhea is common in early pregnancy and loose ligaments could potentially cause pain why using the bathroom. However, I would never mess around with sharp pains.

Thank you so much for your feedback! Yeah that provider is not great... everyone else in the office is totally different. Any time I deal with this one she shrugs me off. I’m going to request not to see her.

I go tomorrow for repeat blood work. They did not order anymore except for original time because “numbers were good” 354 at 15 dpo. I googled way too much.... some ectopics still had normal rising hcg I think. Most didn’t but some did. I have a feeling I’m not gonna get any earlier sono :( right now scheduled for 8/14.

Only getting the pain during bowel movements but it’s really sharp. I did have 3 c sections last one being 8 months ago so I’m hoping maybe it’s just scar tissue since that’s where the pain is coming from.

Would multiples cause that kind of pain?

I'm glad it was helpful feedback! I didn't want to overstep my bounds, but that provider's comments made me cringe. I think requesting not to see her again is a good idea.

It is true that sometimes HCG doubles normal and it still an ectopic pregnancy. In those situations you would be focusing on pain levels and frequency of pain/symptoms. It is probably because of COVID that they're more reluctant to do an ultrasound. However, proper care shouldn't be withheld if warning signs of danger appear.

I'm not a medical provider, so this is just a lay person's opinion. I don't think that C section scar tissue would cause specific pain just during a BM. From my personal experience, I did have sharp pains and diarrhea when I was newly pregnant last year. They did send me for a scan, so I had the privilege of knowing everything was OK. My provider told me that it was most likely ligaments or muscular.

I hope you get answers soon and/or your pain stops!

Well thank you :) you have given me some reassurance. I only had diarrhea maybe twice but the pain has happened like 3/4 times maybe and only during bowel movements. Hopefully it’s nothing just super nervous. Just had my grandma pass last night so my stress is up there too and just trying my best to not cause a miscarriage or anything. I’m super high risk this time because I had uterine window last pregnancy that we discovered during c section plus this will be 4th c section... they said deliver at 36 weeks. Haven’t gotten to discuss it yet because apt is 8/14. :( and of course it’s with the awful provider going to see if any other one is available that day

Oh man you have a lot going on! My condolences on your grandmother.

Your feelings are valid. All feelings are valid. Rest easy that you will not cause a miscarriage if you're stressed or upset. Feeling guilt or trying to "control" your emotions often takes more energy then just acknowledging what you're feeling and riding the wave.

I have a method that might work for you. Especially if you're a mom it might be hard to plan or find time to decompress or "clear your mind." So every time you go to the bathroom, to pee (because a BM might be stressful right now). Pause a second, close your eyes and say a mantra three times while taking a slow inhale and exhale in between each statement. Create the mantra using "I" and then present tense "am" and then your intention... so for example "I am doing my best." Keep with the same mantra all day or for multiple days. It may sound hokey, but it is really grounding. It is actually based in cognitive behavioral therapy.

I hope you can find a provider for the day of your appointment that will help you feel confident in next steps. It sounds daunting, but if you break this down, one day at a time, you can do it!

Fingers crossed! I bet when I talk to a dif nurse/provider the whole thing will change ????????‍?? In A good way.

Update hcg was 9049 yesterday at 22 dpo!!!

I'm so happy for you princess2095!