Community post

I just lost my pregnancy at 11 weeks, we waited for 4.5years for that, at the end of 2015 we lost our first pregnancy at 7 weeks. Only thing what I can say is take care of yourself and remember, you can't change the outcome with stressing and worrying, it will not change anything and it will only make getting pregnant harded. When I lost my baby 13 days ago I felt like I can't do it anymore, I can't take the risk of losing another baby and I never want to get pregnant again or try, because like you I'm afraid it will take forever to get pregnant again or I'll lose my baby again. But I've read other women stories, who lost multiple pregnancies but now they have happy and healthy kids. If we want to hold our little ones one day, we just need to take care of ourselves and keep going. We need to have hope and not give up. And I know it doesn't help much atm, but it really does mean a lot that we can get pregnant, it means that one day we will get our babies because we are able to get pregnant. I'll link you page what helped me a lot in first week, you can read other women stories and the content was just helpful for me https://www.alwaysinmyheart.com/ I follow their instagram. And if your in US you can get free care package from them https://www.alwaysinmyheart.com/care-packages/

And it's great they are running tests, if anything is wrong they will hopefully discover it and can take care of it. Stay strong and take care of yourself, it will get easier and one day you will have your little one with you in this world

Hey. Sorry to hear about your losses. 4.5 years must have been so hard.
I went for a 8 week scan found out was twins and had stopped growing, had to then give it another week to see if I'd miscarriage and to make sure. Nothing happened so was given the choice of tablets of DNC. Went with tablets and I'm back in the hospital tomorrow for a final scan to make sure I'm finished with it.
I find the biggest problem is I'm home all the time on my own. My husband is back working full time and I'm not so I'm just at home. We can only travel so far from home so cant visit family either also havnt told them as my mom would worry so much. Had 5 solid days of rain cant even go for a walk. But weathers to improve now.
Will have a look at that website I'm not in the US but will still have a look.
Will go to clinic once blood tests are back but I think I'll be dismissed as I'm just turning 30.
Hope you keeping ok.

I'm so sorry you are going thru it all and I'm really sorry for your loss, my heart hurts for you. And I'm not from US either, but the posts and stories helped a lot in some way. And I just messaged my thoughts to her too (lady who owns the page have had 5 MC's) and she messaged me back and was really nice, and it helped me feel like I'm not so alone. If you need to vent or just want to talk or lay all your thoughts out, feel free to private message me. I have had my husband home with me and he is very supportive and listens all my talking, but I still had that feeling a lot like I'm so alone in it all and no one realises how painful and awful it all is and yeah, it is really hard indeed and all the thoughts, ugh it's hard and we are very brave and strong to go thru it all to have our earthly babies with us one day. I don't know will it help, but I'll link you few songs what just helped me in some way, I encourage you to find music what you feel like connects with your soul and with your grief, and music what gives you hope.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKBhAG2SNKE helps me feel not alone and connect with my grief.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDwNbi-3O-k https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQDbjIh3_Ts

And I have a little pregnancy diary what I'm using now to write to my baby. I'm not with firm beliefs so idk will I ever meet my little ones or are they waiting somewhere for me, but I still like to write to them to let them know I miss them and I love them and that we really hope they know how much we love them. And I like to dream that if heaven excist they are there with our grandmas and with eachother, dreaming just helps in some way. And if I have hard moments I even just say it out loud that I love you little one and mommy misses you. Oh and we plan to plant two apple trees to out babies, because they both wouldve been born in apple tree sign and we just wanna remember them by something more special. And we burned candles for a week, it just helped.

And I encourage you to speak with your husband about it all, it's really hard for them too. Or if he needs time to grieve alone atm, try to understand it and give him time. First time we had a MC I was in so much pain and we didn't talked about it and it made it all so much worse. This time we've been talking A lot and I feel it helps a lot and I'm amazed how much better I feel atm than first time by that time when it happened. I still have really hard moments, like when I realised I'm leaking milk....but I still feel so much better overall than after our first MC.

Idk will my long post even helps you, because everyone deals with loss of a baby so differently but yeah, I encourage you to find ways how to deal with it. I even googled A LOT, all my thoughts. Anyway, feel free to message me if you feel like you wanna vent, just lay your thoughts out (even when they are really hard thought, I know them all, I just went thru them all) or just wanna talk about anything.

And I encourage you to find a doctor who will take it all seriously and do tests what are needed. I'm in my twenties too so I know doctors can be not helpful, but there are doctors out there who will not look at your age and look at whole picture and who will help you. You've tried for a long time and had losses, so they need to take you seriously and do the tests and help you to find out what can be the problem.

I am so sorry for your losses. With my first miscarriage in May last year (I was 10 weeks along and also had to take the pill to start the miscarriage because my body didn’t get the message), we had been trying for about 10 months and only had 1 chemical in August 2018. But then I got pregnant again almost right away (second cycle after the MC) only to miscarry again in August at 8 weeks. We did some tests on the baby and there was a triploidy (3rd set of chromosome which apparently has no specific risk factor and is not likely to repeat). However there is often partial molar pregnancies associated with triploidy so the doctor recommended we wait 6 months to try again which we did. So in February/ March 2020 after the 6 months was over we decided to wait a bit longer because we were getting ready to move overseas + we were in the middle of a pandemic. By April our move got delayed and I think a baby started to really be on both of our minds because we started doing a very bad job trying to prevent getting pregnant and I unexpectedly got a BFP but it was a chemical, the next cycle I got another BFP and another chemical. And the cycle after that which is now, yet another BFP (only 16 dpo but I am getting much darker test lines than the past 2 cycles so hoping for the best). My doctor did order a bunch of blood tests last month that all came back normal. I am 38 though so I guess more likely to have issues to conceive. All that to say that I went from 10 months of struggling to get pregnant and constant BFNs while actively trying getting pregnant every months without even trying 2 years later. There is definitely a good chance you will be able to get pregnant again soon and I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and baby this time. I truly believe that a baby comes at the time that is right for him/ her and his or her parents.

Hey sorry for the late reply. Thanks to both of for taking the time to reply too.
I find it's just not the same excitement in seeing a BFP after a miscarriage. Your afraid to get excited just incase.
@agatch I really hope this one sticks for you.

I was back at the hospital for final scan. Just waiting on an appointment for the pregnancy loss clinic. I asked if priority is based on age and was told absolutly not its based on the pregnancys you've had so that's a good.
I got blood test done with my doctor that I must have when I go to the clinic. He is going to let me know as the come back if something shows up but some will take weeks to come back as the have to be sent out of the country. My doctor specialised as an Obstetrician so is good in that sense.
Will just have to see what the following months bring.
Baby dust to you both x x

I hope all your tests come back normal and your baby is just around the corner!