Going to have miscarriage #5 and feel defeated
June 10th, HCG levels were only 40. 3 days later on 13th, levels didn't even double and were 75, so lost hope then. 15th, levels are at 65, so definitely going to lose baby #5.... I feel absolutely defeated. I still haven't started bleeding and boobs hurt worse than ever, still getting nauseous, but levels are dropping so not understanding the symptoms not slacking up... I just want to get this over with and move on.
I feel so defeated that I just don't even want to try anymore. I have MTHFR but when taking my meds for this I was able to have my 2 healthy boys, which I am so blessed to have, but its not working for #3 and I'm just feeling done. Doctors don't even know why I keep doing this. So, I'm done TTC #3. Hubby and I have talked about it before and just submitted an inquiry to adopt. We're going to start looking into adopting a child who needs the love we have in our hearts for child #3. Its a intimidating process, but will be so worth it! We feel ready for the next step and start taking the classes, etc needed to adopt. This feels right. I can't mentally handle anymore miscarriages.
6 Comments • 8 weeks ago
I’m so sorry for all of your losses. It seems like each time is always just as painful as the one before. I think it’s wonderful that you are considering adoption and wish you the best of luck in that journey. I also have 2 children and been TTC # 3 for 2 years. I had 2 miscarriages and 3 chemicals. I just got another BFP but am not very optimistic given our track record. My husband and I haven’t really talked about adoption yet but I am getting close to giving up TTC if this new pregnancy ends prematurely again. Have you had any testing done to figure out what is going on? I talked to my doctor last month after yet another CP and she ordered a bunch of blood tests. So far everything came back normal but I’m still waiting for one more result.
8 weeks ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had 4 miscarriages in a row since starting TTC Jan 2019, and can understand your pain. My husband and I actually stopped and I went back on the implant when the last MC finally resolved. I had some new negative SE with it this time and had the implant out in April, and now I'm having some symptoms that I might be pregnant again, and I'm more assuming it's another loss than getting excited <3
I'm so glad you have such a wonderful support system in your family, and wish you all the success in the world with the adoption process!
7 weeks ago
I am so so sorry for your loss! I have MTHFR (C677T) too. I also have POTS - very fun to be me lol. I had a CP, then my son, and then another CP just a couple months ago. I have had all sorts of trouble with the methylated vitamins causing side effects, and I have just started fixing that with my naturopath. I'm seeing a fertility specialist now too because I think I'm experiencing secondary infertility, and after the last chemical pregnancy my hormones have gone absolutely wild and I'm miserable. The specialist is testing me for PCOS (which I have a ton of symptoms of) and he also suspects possible endometriosis (which runs strong in my family.)
I'm seeing a NaPro doctor instead of a RE, because from what I've read NaPro technology is better at helping solve the underlying issues so your body can conceive naturally rather than simply managing symptoms and overriding your body's natural processes which is what most other fertility management models do. He is also the first doctor I've ever spoken to who even knew what the heck having a MTHFR defect means, and understands the role it plays in fertility. If there's one near you (or you're comfortable doing long distance consults,) perhaps consider looking into NaPro for yourself before you lose hope. I do think adoption is absolutely beautiful though, and I'm certainly not trying to dissuade you from that!
7 weeks ago
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