Community post

Documenting

My pregnancy last month ended a week after my BFP. I took more tests and they stayed light before getting lighter. I started bleeding at the doctor before they confirmed it was a chemical and I was no longer pregnant.

That pregnancy got my hopes up. 2/3 of my pregnancies had required meds. I was so surprised that my body did what it was supposed to. Turns out it didn’t, but it still did more than expected. We hadn’t been preventing since youngest was born—6 YEARS. This was my first positive in that time.

I’m on CD 30 now and having way more pregnancy symptoms. Last month was some breast tenderness and a dream about testing. That was it. This month is the tenderness, tired, sensitive nose, feeling off, and meh. I’ve taken tests the last few mornings with FMU and expected them to be positive but they’re very clearly BFNs.

Between last month getting my hopes up and this being the first cycle post-chemical, I’m 99.999999% sure my “symptoms” are psychosomatic. Wishful thinking. So I’m documenting them here so that way when Satan’s waterfall inevitably arrives and this whole thing starts again, I’ll remember what I was feeling and that it didn’t mean pregnant.

Hopefully this isn’t coming across as pessimistic. I’d obviously love to be pregnant right now. I just have ridden this rollercoaster a lot before and I know how easy it is to sore high before plummeting. I prefer to be realistically optimistic, and that includes admitting that my wishful thinking is likely the cause of my symptoms. ♥?

Mama to 3(14, 10, & 6). PCOS. 2 clomid pregnancies(150 10 days). Hoping to complete our family soon

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