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TTC over 35 // Never had a BFP // Trying for years

Hello everyone! I’m in this forum for some time now and while I’m enjoying the support so much, I rarely see ladies in my condition. I mean I’m 36 YO and I never had a bfp. Not a chemical, not a MC, never had a baby and I’ve been trying for 8 years. Actively charting for 12 cycles.
Is there anyone in here who is trying for years, over 35 and never had a bfp?
Is not that I’m not enjoying the conversation with other members, I just wanted to hear someone’s opinion who’s kinda been in my shoes.. you know?
I know there are ladies who are in my age and trying for their second or third but it’s not the same... I’m not saying that the pain is not the same but the situation... I would love to chat with anyone who feels like me!!
Best wishes to everyone in here


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62 Replies • 11 weeks ago • Edited


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Hey Alex, i just turned 41 and don't have any children. DH has two from previous marriage. I had a chemical in January and just lost my first sticky bean at 7 weeks a week and a half ago. I know you said you were looking for people who never had a BFP, but hope you don't mind me joining since i'm "advanced maternal age" and don't have any of my own kids. We are planning to try two more times before going back to the RE to discuss IVF route. I really really want a baby and my recent loss has made me know for sure that this is something i would do anything for. I'm sorry you have been trying for so long with no success. Have you had a fertility work up done?

11 weeks ago


Alex, I am 35 years old, no kids and I have never had a BFP. I have been actively trying this time for 9 cycles. But not preventing since I was 18 years old.


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11 weeks ago


Hello Alex, I am 38 years old and ttc as well. Up until November of last year, I never had a BFP. Unfortunately, since then I have had 2 chemical pregnancies with the most recent being last week. I never thought I would ever see a BFP and I hope to be able to have a baby with my husband. Alex, you aren’t alone. Sorry to hear about what you are going through.

11 weeks ago


Lissa I’m so sorry for your loss! You’re totally welcome if you like! In my case I’m not even sure my body is able to get pregnant.. I’ve done fertility tests I had some thyroid problems which now are under control and I have one blocked tube which my Dr said is not gonna be a problem and many women managed to conceive without help. If I want though I can do a laparoscopic procedure to unblock it but atm I’m postponing it cuz my DH haven’t done his fertility check yet and I’m kinda struggling to convince him.. he’s afraid that he’s gonna be the “problem”... I know it’s stupid and we losing time but I tried everything to convince him

Bug hi! I feel we are kinda the same.. I also never prevented it.. Have you done fertility checks?

Angel I’m so sorry you had to go through this! I really hope you’ll be able to have a sticky one soon...

Ladies...... it’s so difficult! I just want to see a bfp for once in my life.. just for start to see that my body can do this! I’m an overthinker and my anxiety kicks in pretty often lately! And I’m not getting any younger.... I just don’t know what else to do...


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11 weeks ago • Edited • Post starter


Hi Alex. Thanks for letting my stay on the board! I have had some fertility work up done. I had thyroid, FSH:LH and AMH checked and all look normal. Actually my AMH is really good for my age (3.5) so the fertility doctors don't think I will have trouble getting pregnant. DH went in this morning actually for his SA but not sure what that will tell us. They think that our issue is our ages impacting the quality of our eggs/sperm which we can't really test for through the traditional test methods. They think that because we have had a couple of successful fertilizations, but failure to sustain the pregnancies. They don't think i have any progesterone or other hormonal issues that would harm a developing fetus (my LP is 16 days and i take baby aspirin prescribed by my doctor just in case). My babies just don't develop and it's likely due to chromosomal defects. We are going to keep trying for the rest of the year on our own and then our only chance would be IVF because they can test the viability of the embryos before they implant them. I'm hoping that statistically one of these cycles we should have good egg meet good sperm and make a healthy baby without IVF. The cost for a round of IVF is around $20,000.

11 weeks ago


Alex, I have done the HSG tubes clear, had a fibroid removed in 2018. SO has done a SA hes fertile just needs to have help with Low T and high estrogen. Hes on Clomid. I go Wednesday the 10th to discuss hormone testing and AMH testing.

Ladies, I'm so devastated that this was going to be the month but nope just wiped and boom shes knocking on the door, plus my temp dropped. Ugh. I feel like my body doesnt want to work. My ex husband and my ex bf both had kids after I left. Well, the ex bf cheated on me. Ugh I feel like I will never get pregnant. I try to let go and let God like so many ppl say to do and if anything it makes it worse. This past Monday. My mom tells me my 36 year old cousins 17 year old daughter is pregnant talk about a kick to the gut.


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11 weeks ago


Hi I'm shanta.im 41 soon to be 42 in July.
I have been trying for 4 years at this point. Naturally, I have had 2 fibroid removal surgeries. I have used clomid and tried naturally and more recently IUI... the only thing rheybdai is wrong is low egg reserve and of course age...

And now:
today Af started today..2nd insemination was a bust..I'm trying to remain positive however I dont have money right now for another round let alone IVF which the fertiltiy clinic suggest..I'm just tired. 4 years of trying and nothing not even a chemical pregnancy...I dont know what to do now..i turn 42 in July I'm feeling distraught


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11 weeks ago


Sorry i left off that in college I was pregnant over 20 years ago but had an abortion and when I was 30 I had a miscarriage... they said possibly because of the fibroids at the time


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11 weeks ago


Lissa is a good thing that your DH is going for SA. Hopefully everything will be good on this side! You LPs length is just right! Mine are only 12-13 days. I’m glad you’re having IVF as an option! that’s something to look forward. Personally me and hubby unfortunately can not afford something like that!! I really hope you’ll be having a sticky one soon!

Bug seems like both, you and your DH are in a good track! I have a fibroid too but my Dr reassured me that is nothing to worry about and it’s optional, if it’s not getting any bigger, to remove it. Do you think maybe this is a problem? Should I check it with another Dr?
I know how you feel girl! I’m currently on CD4 and I can’t still let go the fact that I didn’t make it for once more even though I wasn’t expecting much after all this years. Every cycle, same reaction. Cry and disappointment! But as I always say.... I saw in here so many ladies who were trying for years and they finally got their miracle. Maybe we are next

Shanta we are all on the same boat! I wish there was someone to tell us.. “hey! The problem is so and so and you’ll do this and everything is gonna be alright”... but no! We have to get all of this torture. I hate ttc tbh.. I’m tired and each cycle is harder and harder!
Are you taking any supplements?


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11 weeks ago • Edited • Post starter


Yes parental vitamins, folic acid, vitamins d, coq10, and I drink a fertiltiy tea blend


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11 weeks ago


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