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mcp422991

3/5/2019 - 11DPO?

I am more confused now more than ever.

So I KNOW I definitely got the EWCM this month, two days in a row. I'm just not sure if that means I ovulated right before the EWCM or during or after!!
So I'm all discombobulated with my DPO but I'm so thankful that I log and track EVERYTHING I feel or comes out of me lol
I distinctly remember having twinges/cramping on my right side on 2/22-2/23 so maybe that's my O time frame and NOT Feb.19/20 like I originally thought since that's when I got fertile CM?
I was nauseated all day on friday 3/1 and I felt a small spurt of nausea yesterday 3/4 but nothing too serious.

I think I need to start temping... this is a little ridiculous lol But I'm 99.9% sure I'm out this cycle. My uterus feels heavy and crampy like AF is gearing up. I'm now on day 2 of brown spotting when I wipe(still doesn't reach my panties) The sides of my boobies hurt and are deffo a little tender. I am also getting a few blemishes on my forehead(hairline) and I remember getting spots right when AF shows up when I was a teen/before BC pills.

I told my boyfriend yesterday that I was confused about possibly being pregnant and I had a full blown panic attack because although we're not 100% TTC, we're just seeing what happens, it's still a HUGE possibility since he's not the best at pulling out in time or he pulls out, finishes, then goes right back in for round 2 lol So I need to be realistic that although the chances are low, it's still a chance. The anxiety attach actually happened in the parking lot of a grocery store while I was on the phone with him lol.
I told him that I was starting to feel nauseous on the drive to the grocery store and he said "Are you pregnant? Yesterday you were craving buffalo sauce... you HATE buffalo sauce and now today you're nauseous" and that sent my anxiety through the roof and I spilled the beans about what i've been feeling and thinking and what my body has been doing and I just felt sort of panicked and guilty because if I am pregnant, we are planning to move to a new state in the end of April. I'd be moving away from my family and my mom who I'd most certainly would need/want by my side through my first pregnancy and I thought "who's going to hire a pregnant girl?!" I started crying in the PARKING LOT lol

My bf is really the sweetest man ever. He calmed me down and told me that if I am pregnant, not to worry about it. Maybe I could find a part time job and they wouldn't mind you being pregnant? Or, he makes enough money to sustain us and anyone else who comes along until I'm ready to get back to work.

I felt instantly better but still not sure WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!

I'm emotional today. I don't like it.
I just need AF to show up. If it doesn't show this week, I'm testing on saturday. eeek!