Community post

I'm losing my mind!

I was so done with the idea of pregnancy. The loss in October gutted me. The surprise pregnancy and then loss the very next day in December was just one final blow. I haven't opened up this forum (except for a few moments just this past week to check on some friends). I haven't opened up my period/fertility apps on my phone. Honestly even seeing babies on social media was hurting me. Hubby and I decided to delay our foster to adopt after all, even though we lost the pregnancy, because it was too difficult to think about.

So here we are again. I have no idea when we BD-ed. I have no idea how far along I am, it can only be so far since my loss was 12/28. I went from not being able to get pregnant to three pregnancies since September?!? Is there something in the water??? Is it because I had completely given up and the universe is playing a game with me?

The only reason I tested now was because a toddler told me that I had a baby in my belly. Yes, you read that right. A 2/3 year old pointed to me and said "I no jump on you. baby in belly. girl baby in belly." It got stuck in my head for days and I couldn't shake it. I wasn't expecting to start my next cycle for another week or so, but I told hubby to buy a test and boom it was two dark lines immediately.

We are both so worried, but I called my mom. She told me to be happy today, because the baby is here today and that's all we have.

So who wants to follow along on this crazy rollercoast?