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Cycle day 1 // Here we go again

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Cycle day 1 makes me feel betrayed by my own body and embarrassed for not being able to function as I was supposed to.
..On cycle day one I feel like I’m balancing in a thin rope. Balancing between last DPO and CD1.

Last Dpo is where my hopes are still on the highest and where I’m symptom spotting even though I try to ignore it. It is the day when I finally made it after the long two week wait and I believe that I will never see again any more opks, my fertility app or take again my bbt.. Is the day that I still believe that I’m this girl who will get a super late bfp after all the negatives. It is the day that the spotting starts and I still kinda try to believe it’s a very late and unique implantation bleeding.......

Cycle day one is the end of my last dpo. Is the day when I feel so confused and I refuse to let my chart go... I feel I worked so hard to get to this point, I cannot just start a new one. It cannot be true. It looked so promising... Is the day I feel so numb and unmotivated that I believe I will not be able to start all over again. Is the day when no one around me understands why I’m so distant and sad. Is the day that I don’t even want to take my vitamins, supplements anymore... everything is so useless, what’s the point? It’s the day when poor DH have to act super happy in front of me trying to cheer me up. It’s the day when my hopes crushed once again.......

CD1 sucks.......


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12 Comments • 5 years ago


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Thank you. Same to you

5 years ago


Cycle day one and I don’t even know how many times I have to go through this before I meet my child. I’m not sad anymore. Disappointed yes.. but sad? Not this time around! I’ve done this so many times I consider my self a pro lol
I’m seeing ladies feeling frustrated and blaming so much on their selves only at their fifth or sixth cycle trying. Some are so concerned even on their first cycle and I’m here approximately 100 cycles of ttc and I don’t even know what to say to make them feel better.
Whoever reading this maybe thinks I’m a joke sitting here and still hoping that I’ll get pregnant one day but I’ve been there too. I believed that I’m just a failure and that most likely I’m a joke for everyone who’s seeing my posts. I mean I’m 37 years old and NEVER got pregnant even I’m doing everything “right”... I don’t believe that anymore. I’m not a joke or a failure. I’m just a girl keeping up on hope. Hope dies last they say ant till I hit menopause this hope will follow me.
Will I ever meet my child? I believe yes..
So heres to cycle day one! Here to a new possibility!! May this be the last cycle before I get my two lines


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4 years ago • Post starter



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