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What nobody told you about trying to conceive...

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I saw this post on another site months ago and I saved it. All those thoughts are collected from several ladies who are ttc and each sentence touched me so much and made me feel less crazy about my thoughts while in this journey so I decided to share it with you all in the hope that will make you feel less alone as it did with me.
You are very welcome if you like to add your thoughts...

What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive...

That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.
That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.
That the longer you Trying to conceive , the more Pregnant women spring up around you.
That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.
That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.
That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm
That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month
That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant.
That you have no control over some of the goals you set...
That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn't make it change!
That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.
That miscarriage is so common.
That I would wish we had started Trying to conceive earlier.
That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.
That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.
That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!
Tat women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!
That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance
That having period show up makes you cry, no matter who's bathroom you are in.
That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.
Feeling like you wish your life away in 2 week increments.
That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.
That I would splash urine on my face while taking apart a pregnancy test in the hopes there really was a 2nd pink line hiding in it.
That one day all of this will make us stronger.
That no one I know would have any understanding as to how I feel.
That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.
That I would find it extremely difficult to be happy for other people's pregnancies and I would burst into tears upon hearing their news.
That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pgcys, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pgcys.
That I am so glad my nephews was born when they did, early in our ttc, because if they were born now I don't think I could deal with it.
That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).
That some people just say the wrong things.
That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me "I know how you feel..."
That I would become NUMB to the wonderful world around me that I already have (My man, family, friends, cats, fun, etc)!
That I would become addicted to Pregnancy tests and not sleep at night because I couldn't wait to Test in the morning!
That I would be so sad, and ashamed.
That when Period showed up you would feel broken and disfunctional.
That your friendships with your real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks.
That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.
That you HAVE to have sex even though you don't feel like it, but because your FM says high or peak.
That people would pity you and feel sorry for you.
That I would stop fantasizing about having a baby because it stopped making me happy.
That I would hear well-meaning questions like: "Have you thought of taking your temperature?" (and this is after 20 months TTC...)
That the two little words of "just relax" uttered by everyone I know would enfuriate me beyond belief.
That my friends who started TTC #1 around the same time we did would already be pregnant with #2 before we get pregnant with #1.
That I wouldn't be able to attend my friend's babies 1st birthday parties because of the quesiton, "So, when are ya'll going to have children."
That the people around me would become more insensitive as time goes on. "It is so hard having a new baby, you just wouldn't understand." or "Be happy you're not tied down."
That I would watch a Baby Story every day... only to cry every day.
That it puts this much strain on a marriage.
That a friend would hid and ignore her own pregnancy to try to keep me from being upset. (we found out when she gave birth)
That sex does NOT ALWAY equal pregnancy or STD every time
That your body has its own mind.
That you would be keeping it a secret from everyone.
That you would cry your eyeballs out because period showed.
That you would be jealous when everyone around you get pg including your 16yo cousin.
That you would tell everyone you're not ready for a child when they ask what your waiting for.
Life as you know it will be interrupted for two weeks.
That the broken heart you feel each month that is equal to the pain you feel when you lose a loved one.
That all of a sudden nursing other people's babies becomes a depressing NOT joyful feeling
That you feel useless as a female
That you will soon be lying through your teeth telling people that you don't want children
That you feel that your body has betrayed you by not delivering a regular cycle, the right about of the required "hormones" or doing what it should now how to do.
That you feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to".
That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so bad.


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31 Replies • 5 years ago • Edited


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@Milverby Thank you so much! Sending positive vibes and your way! I hope you see your bfp very soon!

@lissa You’re not old at all! Don’t say that.. Millions of couples are having their first baby at that age and I hope you ovulate on the next days and maybe you get your xmas miracle this month
I know how it feels to keep It a secret.. no one knows how you dying inside behind that smile.. That’s why I like hanging in here. Feeling less alone!

@squirgle You are not alone girl! We are all on the same boat. Makes me think how many women I know struggle with the same problem and I have no idea... I would love to be able to secretly recognize them and give them a hug..

Virtual hug for you all ladies


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5 years ago • Edited • Post starter


@Alex Not looking great for me. Feeling very numb today after my appointment. Turns out I may not be ovulating every month and may have a low ovary count. Was absolutely gutted and had a major cry out soon as I got in the car. Today's been a sad day for me. My gyno was suggesting clomid be the way to go. Anyone had any experience with clomid?

Feels so good and relieving to know we're not the only ladies out here feeling the strain so bad. to us all very soon!


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5 years ago


@Milv I’m so sorry for the bad news! Take your time, relax, have a hot chocolate, watch a movie! I personally don’t have an experience with clomid so hopefully another lady here maybe wants to share her knowledge on this!
If your doctor suggested this maybe it will help. I tried to read on google about this and it supposed to make you normally ovulate which is a good thing. Stay positive girl and don’t loose your hope. Our babies will come eventually


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5 years ago • Post starter


@ Alex Thankyou for your lovely words of encouragement! My DH has been so supportive and has helped me be happy again and see the best in our situation. I too read a few things on the internet about women's experiences with clomid. Gives me hope.

We have to always keep up hope


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5 years ago


...Nobody told me that I would try to convince my self that I don’t really want a baby and how my life would change and how better I am having all the time for me...
It doesn’t work... hours later I’m still hanging on my apps and on those kinds of forums. I’m so drained...


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4 years ago • Post starter


Hi, im very new to this site. I have been ttc since jan 2012 (turned 28 in Feb 2019). Never pregnant, had all the HSG tests, bloods and scans. The doctors just seem to infuriate me now when i talk to them. I honestly am so glad that im not the only one who feels this way. This post made me feel like i haven't lost my sanity and im not completely alone.


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4 years ago


Saza hang in there girl! You’re not alone! This forum helps a lot and don’t hesitate to join some boards or even create one of your own! It really makes a difference when you can talk about it with someone. We are all on the same boat! Hugs


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4 years ago • Post starter


"That I would wish we had started Trying to conceive earlier."

I had an unplanned pregnancy that ended in miscarriage two years ago. We decided to wait to try again. I thought I would be pregnant again on the first try. Now I regret waiting so long.

I hope your supplements work Alex or that you find a path where you can have some peace. We're all rooting for you!

4 years ago


This is so spot on. I felt everything you mentioned and more for 4 and half years before having my son. It is so HARD! People just don't know. The depression and everything else that comes with it. Only you have gone through this you just cannot understand. I still cry when I see my baby because I just don t believe how blessed i am to having him after so much struggles. The only thing I keep reminding myself and to not let go and to keep your faith in God. That is really the only thing that kept me going. I feel you mama. Your turn is coming.


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4 years ago


Kait and Lalou let’s all hope that very soon will be looking back to all of this as a sweet memory and be grateful for the lessons we got from it! I haven’t succeeded yet but I’m already thankful for all the patience and the strength all this journey gave me! I’m a different person and I see struggles in a different way because of this!! Let’s just keep the faith girls!!


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4 years ago • Post starter


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