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Hopeful

So I have been ttc for a year now... well my husband travels alot for work so sometimes hes not here for the fertile week. So it makes it difficult. At first i was like oh YES! This is going to be awesome ttc is going to be fun and supper easy... hahahahaha my first and only child was a surprise ... i felt semi jealous of the women who were charting and new when they were ovulating scheduling time and dates for thier hubbies to ttc as i never experienced that ... now its become a total obsession i had to step back for a while and not think about it at all because it was getting to be too much of an emotional toll. Even with stepping back and not trying, everytime I get AF I break down and feel like a total failure. I had an IUD after my firstborn and Im terrified Im infertile now or maybe im being punished for haveing a child so young...I know the chances are low and the second sounds completely crazy but these are the things that go through my mind everytime I get af... I was young with my firstborn and looked even yonger then I was... so baby shopping was awful and people were awful the father was not supportive so i took on the world as single mother for 9 years. Then i found the love of my life who is everything Ive ever wished for. I wish I could Experience everything in this phase of my adult life with a supportive hubbs and a great life...with all that being said im 2 days late and im terrified to test... I dont want to see another negative I dont think I can take it again...Im sooo nervous. I am supper regular with af its like clock work. The last time I was late like this I had a few faint positives then it ended in a miscarriage... I dont wanna go through that again either...so needless to say I dont want to get my hopes up.

0 Replies • 9 days ago


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