Community post

That's terrible! Unfortunately, the odds are not even close to being in her favour here. Trisomy 18 comes with severe issues/deformities. The rate of survival is so low due to many of the deformities being in major organs (heart, lungs, kidneys etc). Idk what the survival rate is if they make it past birth, I was told it's something most doctors see as being incompatible with life. She's in for a very long, tough road, no matter which way things go. The best thing u can do is to be there for her, esp if she can't get that support from family. Reassure her that she needs to make the decision that's best for her and her baby, not what doctors or anyone else want (and will likely push her to do). At the end of the day, she's the one who has to live with her choice (termination or let things happen as they will) and she can't let anyone sway that in either direction, or she will end up with regrets.

I wish her the best of luck with her findings today. It's a lot to absorb and a very hard pill to swallow!!! She will get through it tho...one day at a time!

I don't have anything to add. I just wanted to say that I wish your friends all the best.

I’m with Dakota, and she definitely needs all the support she can get. She doesn’t need to be swayed on whether or not to terminate as this is her baby and not theirs. When we found out ours might have just Downs it was all doom and gloom from the docs and I cannot only imagine our lives without him but I can’t tell you how he’s changed us and affects soooo many others he meets. All this without him speaking a word. I’ll pray for her and her LO, either way, a tough road for them and I’m sorry her family is not more supportive.
And to add just a bit more....nothing in any of this is certain. I’m not saying something isn’t wrong, but with my first who has Downs, the nurse who took care of me was told after an amnio that her daughter was going to have Downs and she didn’t. Again, I’m not saying the doctors could be wrong, but I am saying nothing is for certain and termination is for certain. Tell her she has people praying for her.

That's heartbreaking. Encourage her to seek out some support groups for this diagnosis. She might get some more information that will help her make that decision. I'm on a lot of loss support groups and Trisomy 18 comes up a lot. It's an individual decision if parents want to terminate early, or follow through and have a moment after birth even if the survival rate isn't good.

Thank you ladies for all who commented. It is with breaking news that she lost her baby last night. She was 4.5 months along and was carrying a boy. There apparantly was fluid all around the baby, stomach, and lungs and doctors told her that the baby will either pass away in the womb or will live only a short while if he made it to full term. There were other things wrong with him. Right now her mom is there by her side. My heart goes out to her while she goes through this difficult time. The only thing I have to say is that I'm due to have my son in roughly 3 weeks and she sends me pictures of her baby. So, now the pictures are burnt in my brain and that is something I don't ever want to see in my life. Who does that??

When my mom lost my brother around the same time (4-5 months) we held him and also had pictures of him. It helped me grieve as I was devastated as well as my family. I remember showing my best friend since I loved him so much and still wanted to share him with her and remember the life and struggles he did have. My prayers are with her during this difficult time. Look at it like this also, when people die we sometimes have a viewing to remember them by, so maybe this is her way of doing the same. I wish you the best on the delivery of your new bundle