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BFN feels like my life is over

I know it would be the worst timing possible. Logically i know that. But FRER BFN on 13dpo is breaking my heart. I thought there was the faintest possible line on 11dpo, i was sure i was having lots of promising symptoms, i really thought id get my BFP today and im crushed. I think i was focusing on this as the one positive thing in my life right now. Im still at home with my husband after finding out he had sex with a prostitute. Yesterday and the day before things seemed to be going quite well and i was coping, we were working through it together. Today i am finding it harder and now with no pregnancy i feel like there is nothing good there is only this dark nightmare. And i cant stop playing it over in my head what he said, what he did. AF is due tomorrow so first thing i'll see my temp drop and im more devastated about this cycle than any i was out before. I know its wrong to have pinned my happiness on this or to be wishing a baby into the middle of this mess, i could never do it intentionally, but i cant help how i feel.

4 Comments • 5 years ago


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You can't help how you feel. Especially with how the rest of your life is going right now. You are searching for some happiness to hold on to and there is nothing wrong with that. If you do get AF remember you have two other children and they can bring you some happiness and comfort right now. I suggest that if you want to work it out with your husband then you should consider couples therapy. It would help you work and talk out the situation in a controlled safe setting. Even if you ultimately decided not to work it out with him therapy would still be beneficial and hopefully help you come to terms with this. Time will be the best healer here. I'll be thinking of you.

5 years ago


I'm so sorry. What a sh*tty situation. It's very ok to be upset about this. Therapy is a good idea, but you do what you need to do now.

5 years ago


I am so sorry :( How is your husband handling all of this if I may ask? Does he suggest going to couples counseling? I had a friend go through something similar (although her husband didn't just do it once, so.... ) and I remember the multiple phases she went through of shock, anger, sadness, etc. and it was very different from her husband's perspective. Just want to make sure your feelings are being heard and respected. From your posts it sounds like you do want to stay in your marriage so I hope you are able to find a way to mend your relationship, regain trust, and come out of this stronger.


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5 years ago


Thank you for your replies. 14dpo and temp hasn't dropped, it always does so im wondering if maybe o-day is wrong, maybe my temp spiked early with the stress/drinking/lack of sleep? I guess i'll know when AF arrives.

As for the husband, he is very upset about what he did and how hes hurt me. He is really trying. Hes always apologising, checking how im feeling, open to talk about it any time so we can work things through. We're going to our first counselling session tomorrow. Its all an absolute nightmare and yesterday i just had a really bad day like a curl up and cry type of day. But im trying to be more positive today and not just obsess replaying what he did over and over in my mind.

I am sad not to be pregnant and i think thats in part because im scared we'll never be strong enough as a couple again to actually plan another baby. And i just wanted something good and happy to focus on. But its true my children are keeping me going, every day they give us both a reason to smile no matter how bad im feeling. They are everything.

Oh calvingirl ive been meaning to say congratulations! I am sending you all sorts of good wishes for a healthy baby xxx

5 years ago • Post starter


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