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Men cannot get BV, and it's technically not an STI. Maybe he actually has something else but didn't want to tell you, and was hoping you would go on antibiotics for "BV" and then he wouldn't have to tell you the truth. You need to take care of you right now. Inform your doc that your husband was unfaithful and you need a full STI panel. Many STIs can have no symptoms, so a lack of symptoms does not mean you don't need to be checked. I'm so sorry.

Ditto what the lady above says. BV is not an STI. The only antibiotic usually given to treat it is something called metronidazole. You may know it as flagyl etc. If it’s not metronidazole you are taking, then it’s not BV.

Sorry for what you are going through, sounds like you have put up with a lot! X

So truely sorry for what you are going through . It literally breaks my heart that some men are just pigs and can't keep their dick in their pants; especially when they are married. Not sure what BV is without having to Google it. But I agree with gigi00, you need to take care of you first and get a full test done and then work on the kids you do have and weigh out the options if you still want to stay with him.

omg, that sucks! I'm so sorry you are going through this. These ladies are giving you great advice, and I concur with all of it. Talk about it all with him some more and see if you can build the trust again.

Thank you for your replies. It's just been going round and round in my head all day, one minute I think I still love him and I'm willing to try, the next I think there's no way we can come back from this. One minute I believe him that it was just once, the next I'm questioning everything. Its so hard. And he's told me when he's offshore so I have to look after my boys all the time by myself. Luckily I have my parents, they looked after the kids all day so I could have just one day of wallowing in self pity and now I have to pull it together. He says it is gardnerella and it's very unusual for men to get it but apparently possible. It is mitronidazole he's taking. The doctor told me that since I don't have any symptoms I don't need treatment! I will be going in for a full screen next week. I have had issues with paranoia and often wake crying with nightmares that he'd cheated, my dad had an affair and it devastated mum so I guess that's part of it but I always felt so sure my husband would never do that to me and it was just my issue. He literally couldn't have done anything that would hurt me more.

Has he fessed up to anything besides the bj?? It seems like gardnerella is not something a guy would get from a bj.... I guess it's possible you had it at one time and gave it to him, but given the other thing he was covering upI'm not so sure.

I really feel for you. :( on one hand I'd hate to split our family and couldn't imagine life without my husband.... but then I feel like I would neverbe able to trust him again and I doubt either of us would enjoy my constant questioning.

Why did he have to be so dumb!

I'm going off Google here and a little medical schooling, but it seems highly unlikely he would get bacterial vaginosis, considering he doesn't have a vagina and gardnerella is a form of BV. Also, it seems unlikely he'd get a form of bacterial vaginosis, not only from lack of having a vagina, but also because it was supposedly from a bj, so that doesn't make sense either. Also, bacteria vaginosis is not technically considered a STI/STD , it's basically a type of yeast infection. And Google is backing me up here,I'm not trying to break your heart, but you should be making decisions from a standpoint of being As informed as possible.

oh man , i feel for you. I don't know your husband at all , but if he doesn't have any problem with getting BJ , why should he have problems with having sex. cheating is cheating . but hay what can i say , maybe this was a good listen for him and he won't do it again.
I too think that you need to take care of your self only and not to worry about anything. I would dig a bit more to see how far he's gone but stay calm and collected and not beat yourself up .

He's still sticking firm with it just being the one blowjob so he has to have caught gardnerella from me. I've said everything I can think of to catch him in a lie or get him to admit to more, I think he would have cracked by now if it wasn't true. He was getting tested for everything apparently since some things can be transferred orally. I might know more when I speak to the doctor on Monday. To be honest I think the lying has been worse, if he'd come home and told me he'd messed up it'd be different but he hid it and lied and got tested in secret. Now my temp is still up today and CM has changed so fairly sure I've ovulated. So I'm over thinking that a bit now too!

Bottom line is you have to be able to live with the man and try to carry on a happy marriage for you guys and the kids. Me personally, it’d be destroyed for me because I just can’t make love and give myself fully after all of that, but that’s me. If you can and be happy then that’s wonderful. He risked not just his marriage but your health and future children by his actions so there’s more morally than just a BJ and if the marriage was great to begin with who’s to say why or if he’ll do it again. Idk, and the excuse that he’s a man doesn’t cut it for me, he’s not an animal and can control his actions.
If you can forgive and move on then great for you guys, I hope it all works out one way or another but you’ve got to soul search and be able to fully live out your decision, carrying on as before and with the same trust otherwise it’ll probably turn south. You’re in my thoughts...try to stay strong. Maybe talk to someone like a counselor or if you belong to a church, someone there who can help you through. Just a thought...so sorry for all you’re going through