Community post

I actually slept really well last night & woke up feeling pretty good.. but now I have a bad feeling like the calm before the storm or something. Still taking advantage of this time to play with Jace, he's certainly my sunshine through all this darkness.

jaces, I am glad to hear you slept well. Get in all that quality time you can with Jace :-) When I am having a bad time I prefer my daughter to be attached to my hip, she is 15 so she understands sometimes and sometimes she could care less Lol

Jess- glad you're feeling better. I hope it continues to get better for you.

Jace's, i Keep praying for you so that everything will be ok.
Tara... i still miss u!

Jaces --> I'm so glad that you got some rest and are in better spirits. When is your D&C scheduled for?

AFM: Today is 1 DPO. Let the TWW begin.

Thank you so much girls, all this support & prayers really mean a lot. I do have the strong family support but they don't understand & in glad in a way that they'be never had to feel this way. Even MT close friends that I talk to everyday, Im sure they just don't know what to say so they just don't call.. which is harder because I don't have them to talk to.
My d&c is supposed to be tomorrow but they still haven't called to tell me what time. Ill call them here in a lil bit. I need to talk to them anyway, any normal outcome I would've gotten my ultrasound pictures that she had in my hand.. I'm praying she put them in my chart cuz that'll be the only physical memory I have of my sweet angel baby, whether it was already gone or not I want it.

Well went in on CD12 and had 5 measurable follies!!! Holy smokes batman! 4 will mature enough to ovulate though, 1 I am 75% certain will not so we are moving forward. Funny though cause we were moving forward regardless only we were going to try at home no matter what the Dr ordered but he did clear us for the IUI :-)

Left side had 16.5, 16.8, and 12.8
Right side had 20.8 and 15.9

He said all of the larger ones will be good to go! They should all be over 18mm by IUI in the morning. DH and I decided this is our last IUI, we will be moving to IVF if everything looks good with his SA tomorrow and me having FOUR follicles we do not get pregnant then we are taking the leap of faith!

Jace's, I'm glad you are in better spirits. She should have the pictures in your file. My dr has mine from 2010 and 2011 still.

Praying for you Mandy!! May everything be smooth sailing for you tomorrow & go as perfect as possible..
I'm really hoping they still have the ultrasound pics, but I'm highly doubting it. My firsts with Jace got ruined (my friend was gonna surprise me by laminating them & they turned black), I called the ob office crying & asked if they still had anymore & she said they don't save them. But that was over 3 yes ago & they've moved their office into the hospital now so maybe, & under the circumstances, hopefully they'll have them.
I have to check in at the hospital at 8:15 in the morning. My husband works over an hour away & that's what time he gets off. My mom's gonna drop me off on her way to work so it sucks that I'll be waiting by myself .. just praying dh gets there in time so I can see him before they put me to sleep. They said after I check in it'll be about an hour before the surgery while they get me & everything else ready. Just nervous about being by myself - well nervous about it all. Is it weird that I'm really depressed over having my baby actually gone? I mean, I know it is already, I guess its just knowing it will be final.. I'm just not ready to let go, & honestly I don't know if I ever will be. I know you all have been praying for me just please keep it up. Its going to be a long process & I have no idea how I'm going to feel tomorrow after my precious angel baby is taken from me.

Jace's Mama - you are in my thoughts constantly.

@jacesmama- Hi sweetheart. I'm thinking about you today and praying for you, love. I've been watching the clock and wondering how you are doing. Big hugs and big prayers for you darling.

@astrid- awe, I miss you too! Hate being out of the game.

@2frsty- that's a cool little tid bit on elvis :). Love the pic of your feet up. lol. I did that but my feet kept going to sleep LOL. So I've been just slipping a pillow under my butt and passing out for a couple hours :).

@weekc123-welcome honey! Any updates?

@xomandy- So excited for you! Did you have your IUI this morning? Cant remember, what was your treatment protocol this cycle?

AFM- No idea what cd I am. My ctp page says 40something but I've had 2 light af's with this medication so not sure what I'd be exactly. Doctor ok'd birth control until my injectable cycle so I've been on that for about a week. Which is nice cause it stopped my funky bleeding and dh doesnt have to use condoms. After 3 1/2 years of ttc, going back to condoms sucked. Realized how much I love friction! lol. So, I'll likely stop the spirolactone at the beginning of october cause they suggest stopping it a month before ttc. I'll finish the birth control regimen on Oct 26th and start the injectable cycle about halloweenish so looks like November is the big month. Feels so far away! But in reality it's only 2 months. Still saving. We have about $500 saved up so only $500 more to go. After we got back from our family reunion in Indiana, we received a letter that our neighbor had accidentally gotten. Apparently our insurance company wouldnt cover part of my bloodwork from May and if they wouldnt cover it, I'd have to pay the lab $2300! I panicked for 24 hours straight. Luckily I mad some calls the next day and insurance took care of everything so I didnt have to pay anything. Apparently my neighbor had the letter for a week before giving it to me ...but I'm just elated that I dont have to come up with $2300 !
Things have been well. Reunion was fun. DH's aunt convinced me to sing karaoke with her and I finally allowed others to hear me sing :). Had relatives bugging me about babies and I'd just smirk and say, "oh, well we're enjoying life...shoot, we may decide never to have children" and then I'd just let them freak out. I know...I'm evil . Best way to answer them these days. Dont worry, we'll tell them one day.