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OH sweetheart! Remember love, there is always the emergency room if you need help during the night.

I second the ER and take pain killers, advil or aleve if you have it.
*hugs*

Jace's Momma --> Oh my God. I haven't logged on in a while; been super busy getting ready for the in-laws to visit tomorrow ... now I feel like a total asshole for not being here when you first posted. Oh my sweet lady; my heart simply bleeds for your loss. I haven't the words to express my sorrow for what you must be going through right now. Does your Momma still have Jace? If may be better to have him with her, so you can focus on YOU during this time. Is your DH at home? Lean on him, Love. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I have never experienced this type of loss, so as far as advise I am literally useless. What I can offer is my total agreement with Tara. You need to pray this through and let God lead you down the right path. It sounds like your body may be taking the decision out of your hands; I'm not sure as to whether they would do an D&C once the natural process has already started. I know that once the bleeding has stopped, they'll do one if u/s confirms that there is anything left inside the uterus that needs removal. Please go to the ER if it gets to be too much to bear, either physically OR emotionally. Don't try to tough it out and be the strong silent one. And Tara is right; it really IS okay to not be okay. And it's also okay to allow yourself to feel every single emotion that you are/will be feeling. Don't be upset with yourself for being unable to put on a happy face for your son; bottling up your emotions on the inside is the worst thing you can do in situations of mourning and loss. Because they WILL surface if you haven't allowed yourself to work through them, and they never show their faces until the worst possible time. Sweet lady, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Please text me if there's anything I can do/say to help you through this time, even if it's just to provide a listening ear. Sometimes just having an live, unbiased person on the other end of the phone to listen to your ranting and venting can make all the difference in the world. My name is Linda, BTW!

(618) 727-3776

YES!!! I feel like I obsess over every little thing, every tiny ache, every burp, every hot flash, every vivid dream...Its exhausting, the TWW...

Princess --> Welcome to our little "club."

AFM: This cycle is a radically different one from the usual cycles for me. I almost feel guilty for feeling the way I do, but I can't help it. Can someone peek at my blog and tell me what they think?? I know that in light of recent developments, my feelings regarding my own TTC cycle are insignificant at best.

http://myttcjourneyintomadness.com/2015/09/02/cycle-starting-28-august-2015/

Jace's Mom: Still thinking of you and sending prayers and hugs.
2Firsty: I read your blog. The cycles of hope and disappointment are just exhausting, I too find. You may find IVF with ICSE will give a better shot if it is a semen issue. They will inject the sperm right into the egg, so quantity is not an issue.

Late --> If I can at all avoid it, I wanna steer clear of IVF. IUI on the other hand, I'm totally open to - if I can get the hubster to cooperate. And I was doing some research this morning, and his volume (while defo low at only 1.0 mL) is only 0.5 mL lower than the normal range of 1.5-5.0 mL. My doc made it seem like 5 mL was the "average." So that gives me hope. Best news is that even in that puny 1.0 mL of "Baby Gravy" DH has 76 million spermies swimming around in there, and 51% of them bad fellas are motile, with 34% being fast moving. So as long as we can get them where they need to go, I think we may still have a shot!
It's just that with my in-laws coming up today for my son's 2nd birthday tomorrow (wasn't I "just" pregnant???), plus everything else going on right now, I just feel like my time would be better served somewhere else. My head's just not in the game this cycle, ya know?? I decided to fill my Femara script and finish out the 5 day regimen after all. I figured that I may as well give myself SOME kind of fighting chance. And if it happens, it happens. Yay! But I'm not going to spend my baby boy's 2nd birthday all worried about peeing on an OPK every few minutes to check for my surge! He was sick sick sick last year during his party, and we spend the whole dang party in the ER with a 104 degree fever. I wanna make this year's extra special. We're having a pool party at my mother's with an Olaf theme!!

Getting ready for my appointment today. Still undecided. Leaning toward d&c just because I know I'm not emotionally strong enough to handle the pain, and I couldn't imagine seeing my baby pass. The way it looked ob the ultrasound it had already lost the 'baby' shape & I'm scared of how I would handle seeing it. Have a few hours to decide, so we'll see. I just feel numb today. No tears left, just numb. Not sure how I'll feel later though. Thank all you beautiful ladies.. you've helped me a lot by just listening. I have a huge support system through my family, buti just can't seem to say what I want out loud yet. Makes it a lot easier to vent on here. Gotta go get ready, I'll update you all later.

Jace's Mama - I am still thinking of you.

Just wanted to pop in and say hi, looking for an update from Jace's. Praying for you honey.

Welcome Princess.

I have officially decided that I HATE all fertility drugs. Femara never bothered me when I took it, I am not sure if it is cause I haven't taken it in so long but it puts me in a very weird mood. Like I do not want to talk to ANYONE, just leave me alone and let me be. It's bad, my poor DH and DD. I decided for now on I will take it at night and hopefully sleep through it. I go tomorrow on CD8 for my US instead of CD10 cause of the holidays and them being closed Monday. I assume he will have me trigger Monday and IUI Tuesday or Wednesday. I dunno, just sucks trying to time it so far in advance like that without a current US. Oh well, it is what it is.

Any of you have plans for the weekend? We rented a house on Lake Travis for the weekend and a boat for all day Saturday then the guys are playing golf Sunday and the girls are going for brunch and wine tasting at the Vineyards! :-)