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Does anyone else feel like a crazy person???!!!

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I think I might be pregnant ....I'm probably not ....could be, I'm late and crampy ....or maybe I ovulated later than I thought ...My breast feels sore, I gotta be pregnant ...maybe it's sore from me poking at it to see if it's sore. LOL! Anyone else mentally wrestling yourself ?!


Forum Founder; TTC 2 1/2 yrs; PCOS & MTHFR; 5 angel babies...Praying for a miracle!

9961 Replies • 11 years ago


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Astrid- that sounds awesome. I want to travel one day!


8 years ago


Astrid--> Sounds lovely! And sometimes just the HSG can give you the extra boost that you need for your I'd love to go back to Europe! I keep trying to get DH to reenlist for a duty station in Italy, but he's hesitant.


Linda

8 years ago


enbutler--> OMG you look so gorgeous! Look at that perfect little belly!! Truckin' right along, lady!!

Not much to report here. I've been blogging about my TTC journey this cycle every day, and it's turning out to be not only educational, but a little on the funny side with my sick and twisted sense of humor! Lemme know if anyone has some time to kill and wants the link.

Today is 5 DPO and other than AWFUL gas, I've got nothing else to bring to the front page news. I did order a box of 25 OSOM Urine Card Pregnancy Tests today though, and they'll be here on the 20th, which would put me at 8 DPO. I'm actually very proud of myself: Today is 5 DPO and I haven't peed on ANYTHING and haven't run out and spend a fortune on tests. I gotta face facts; I simply don't have the money for that anymore. Our vacation to Illinois to see Matt's family just about killed us. And of course, we make too much money for a 3 person family to qualify for WIC. As it stands, we exceed the maximum allowable income by only $400 but get this: once I get pregnant we should qualify. We'd be under the max amount by a little over $300. Ugh. It's times like these when I'm like "I should've chosen to cloth diaper DS."


Linda

8 years ago


Sorry I have been MIA but we are super swamped at work and have been busy EVERY weekend all damn summer! :-( I need a break. I have read all of your posts daily, however the only posted I wanted to write was not going to be short so I just didn't write. So here goes!

I get a call two weeks ago, my Sister is pregnant. She says "I didn't want to tell you cause I know your struggles and how heart breaking it is". I was sooooooo upset, not because she was pregnant and not me, but because she felt like she couldn't share her joy with me! "I never want anyone I know to be scared to have that conversation with me, I know my shit sucks! It's not your fault though". That is what I wanted to scream! I didn't want her to feel sorry for me! 4 years ago a few months after my miscarriage, my sister whom is MY BEST FRIEND I might add, waited two whole weeks to tell me cause she didn't know how to tell me! My heart was so broken cause I knew her heart was aching for me and I was so pissed at God. Man I was so pissed at him! Lol however that came and went. Anyways, fast forward two weeks and all I have heard from sister is complaining!!! Literally, EVERY SINGLE DAY! Last Wednesday we were in the waiting room at our REs office and she calls and again, complaining. I couldn't hold back!! I FLIPPED SHIT! James looks at me with this "OMG, ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU ARE IN A WAITING ROOM BABE!!!" I didn't care, I was tired of hearing her complain about feeling sick and being tired and already wishing she didn't have to get up for work. Words can't describe how I felt at that moment. So she doesn't complain to me anymore and probably never will, that I do NOT feel bad about. :-)
Now back to my anger with God. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????????????????????? Her and her boyfriend of 6 years aren't even engaged and are splitting up every other week! Why? Why? Why? I just don't get it. AND THE BEST PART! She's on methadone! They weren't even trying! They used condoms every single time! However, when she did go to the Dr they didn't see a baby, that was Friday the 7th. She goes back this Friday for another ultrasound. Of course I have prayed every day that there is a pumping little heart beat when she goes Friday but i still needed to vent.

So my RE appt Wednesday. It went good. He pretty much said we can do however many more IUIs or we can move to IVF, whatever we wanted to do was totally okay with him. He said I could do injections but felt it would be a waste of money and we would be chancing having to cancel a cycle cause I already produce 3 mature eggs on Femera that he didn't think I needed them. So I don't know yet, we decided to do another two to three IUIs then IVF. Maybe, James said he would like to do one or two then move to IVF. Either way if I am not pregnant in a few months we have our plan. He also said that they no longer transfer the same cycle as retrieval due to the much higher success rates with Frozen embryos the next cycle. You know me, I instantly started researching and he is correct. There are more live birth rates with Frozen Cycles than Fresh Cycles. So I am okay with doing it that way. He also said the chance for multiples is higher so they push for only a Single transfer but I am going to push for Two.

Anyways, sorry for the long post! I will respond to everyone shortly. Hope everyone is doing great!

Tara, did you call the dr?

Jace, How are you honey? Did you get the insurance stuff situated?

8 years ago


mandy--> I am SOOOO sorry about what happened. And I think you have every right to be angry. Not being upset with someone for being pregnant is one thing, but to have them constantly piss and moan about it (to you of all people) about the misery of said pregnancy is another thing entirely. I spent a good long while being angry with God about my infertility. Crackheads who continue to use every single day of their pregnancy are popping out babies every single day and don't even WANT their babies, and here I was drying desperately to conceive and it just wasn't happening. Idk if you know, but even though Matt and I only tried for 5 years, he's my 3rd husband and I TTC with both my previous marriages. I was TTC a total of TWELVE years before I ever got my first that went on to become my gorgeous little boy (who's decided to shred my living room this morning, but I digress.) Vent away lady, that's what we're here for. That's EXACTLY why I've started blogging my TTC journey. Yes, I want to be able to help other ladies like me that are in the same situation, but it's more like a journalling therapy for ME. It helps to put my feelings into perspective when I can see them in black and white. Maybe give it a go??

6 DPO for me today, and not much to report.


Linda

8 years ago


@2Frsty- thank you so much.

@mandy- I'm so sorry to hear all of that. I hope it gets better for you and all the ladies here!


8 years ago


OK, I lied. I've had some light cramping off and on this afternoon, and about 2:00 I had a killer headache come out of nowhere! I usually only get a headache when rain's coming (not a chance of rain til Thursday), when I'm taking the Femara, right before AF, and if I've been crying. Very odd. CM is still creamy, so who knows...


Linda

8 years ago


2Firsty and Waiting: thank you for the kind welcome! I went into hibernation for a few days.

Waiting, you sound busy! I hope that all goes very well for you! My plan is a bit backwards. I had a failed IVF in February and I am now on the second IUI cycles. I will do a third before I do another IVF. Our situation is almost hopeless given my age and husband's 20+ year old vasectomy (and failed reversal). In our favor, I am switching jobs and may possibly get approved for IVF by the new health insurer. Hence the 3 IUI's self paid this summer to qualify. I am using donor sperm for the IUI's but if not successful will do MESA or TESE with hubs for the IVF (like before). Will move to donor egg IVF, probably abroad, once insurance is no longer a possibility, which will be soon as I am 45 in February. Sounds crazy, but finances are extremely tight and $ is weighing heavily in many of our decisions.

Mandy, I can relate. My sister had a 4th! baby last Nov. that they weren't really planning. And my brother in law hooked up with a high school sweetheart and got her pregnant almost immediately. They're not married, he is actually very recently divorced. They're due in October. My neighbors next door and across the street just had babies. My cousin just had a baby. My best friend is due any day now. I am happy for all, but it is heart breaking waiting and wondering.

8 years ago


and LOL, Waiting! My name today will be Hands Over Eyes: I don't think I can face beautifulcervix yet, lolol. I am temping, but thankfully my cycle is regular and I ovulate predictably so no CM tracking.

Yah, the money aspect is sickening. My husband is really hurt by it; he believes if we just had money we could have a kid. It breaks my heart to see him so sad and feeling so low, like he is letting us down by not being rich. But, we are going to give it the best shot we can and I am going to pray for the grace, strength and wisdom to deal with whatever the outcome is. It's a very humbling experience so far. I think I've cried more in the last 2 years since I've been married than in my entire life all together before.

8 years ago



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