Community post

So many cycles I lost count

Every month I'm and filled with so much hope and at the end of it just crushed, and thinking that I can't go through this again... so now I'm onto... I don't even know what cycle it is, and feeling less hope than ever. I keep thinking about my best friend who passed away over the summer she was only 29 years old, and another friend is actually in labor today and it's just it's really depressing. I'm trying to remind myself that everything happens for reason but I can't help but wonder why a lot of stuff happens. Today is cycle day eight and I can't even think about wanting to be with my husband and he doesn't think about it either. I feel like all the intimacy that we have is kind of just forced only around super fertile days, and it's always me who initiates anything. It's been years since he looked at me and saw me in the way that everyone wants to be seen. So this month I guess I'm just feeling like a failure as a woman because I can't seem to make babies and because I'm not interesting to my husband at all. I know these feelings will pass I just thought it might be better to write them down and get it out. If anyone reads this I just want to thank you for the few seconds that you took to do so, it means a lot that there's some women out there that are in similar positions and it means a lot that we can care about each other even though we don't know each other.

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