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Hoping this is it

I usually don't write in the journal but today i feel like I think I just want to so I can get this off my chest. Im buggin out because I feel like its been forever and a day to get prego and I'm getting frustrated with it. My AF is due on the 7th and this is the 1st month since I got of BC that it hasn't come before its time. My cycle days have been gettin shorter and shorter from like 31 down to this last one was 25 days. I feel so off balance with it. I had been charting an tracking pretty faithfully up until ths month when I said that I would just go with the flow and try and do it on my own without the tracking and stuff but now that its getting closer I just want my AF to get to its day and not come at all so I can cut all this anxiety about it. I try to stay calm and positive but I'm m just sooo anxious. I took a test today and it was negative but I think its just because my AF date is too far away. I'm tryin not to get my hopes up but its so hard when all I can think about how disappointed I'm gonna be when it actually does show. Idk....I just hope it doesnt come.

Keeping fingers crossed for me and all you ladies TTC, our time is coming!!! Oh yeah back in May when I did the fortune telling thing about when you will see your BFP. Mine said by te last of Aug sooo we will see. Will keep you posted.

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