Community post

Becca: I'm so sorry that it turned out to be an evap line. However, remember it's not over until the witch shows.

Baby #5, eh? I totally agree that the hate isnt toward the person, just the jealousy of her fertility. I feel ya.

No major grip today beside dh knowing that it's my fertile week of course he "isnt in the mood" to bd. UGH!!!

Aryian lol what is wrong with these guys!?! The past week my dh has been in the mood to bd non stop, of course, now that im not fertile!!!!!! Sometimes I wonder if he does it on purpose. I even told him that one time, which didnt go over well. Lol I feel your frustration girl!

I am seriously at my wits end. I'm so tired of the arguments and crying over dh not wanting to bd and it having to be a guilt trip if we do bd during my fertile window. This whole cycle all we have done is fight. He doesn't feel good, so he picks a fight. I want to get pregnant and it's 'go time' and he isn't in the mood. UGH! I am seriously just going to throw my bbt thermometer out the f-ing window and forget about it! I have literally asked him if he wants to have a baby. He says yes but his actions are 100% the opposite. I hate the fact that we bd on a guilt trip from me to him- I'm honestly not sure what hurts more, me having to deal with his attitude on this or me not getting and staying pregnant like all of my sisters (they had no problems at all! In-fact most of their pregnancies were a surprise!). I'm at a total loss and I just want to scream! I'm exhausted, physically, mentally. Just overall exhausted. I can't stop crying. I just am so hurt and feel beaten down.

Holy Crap Aryian I'm so freakin sorry your hurting and that your going through all of this!!!! Your stupid dh needs a slap upside the head. You don't deserve to have to go through all of this garbage, nobody does. You deserve to have your precious baby. Cyber hugs to you girl!!!

I could have written that post myself word for word. I feel exactly the same way. Dh just fights me when it comes to ovulation time. It truly hurts so bad on two different levels. You feel rejected on one level (guilt sex is the worst by the way, been there . . . . . ) and on the other level you feel like dh is trying to sabotage your chance (yet again) to get pregnant. I think we only bd like 2 or 3 times during the week it really matters and thats if I'm lucky. Also dh is so feakin sensitive about it that if I get too pushy he takes it the wrong way and we end up fighting instead of bding.

I totally know how you feel. The whole situation from start to finish every cycle feels like it is completely out my control. No matter how bad I want to get pregnant, it feels like each month I'm just crashing into a brick wall and no matter how much I fight it I cant get through.

I think I cry about not being able to get pregnant every few days. The littlest things can trigger me and I just break down and sob. I feel so helpless about this. It just hurts so bad and the worst is the horrible fear that maybe it won't ever happen.

Some days I'm just thinking, "I cant even believe this is happening to me and that any of this can possibly be real. My whole life I've thought about how easy it would be to get pregnant and have babies. It just wasn't supposed to be like this. This is just some horrible thing that happens to some distant acquaintance. It could never happen to me." Sadly this IS happening to me and its really really difficult to accept.

Thinking about you Aryian, again I'm so so sorry for what your going through. I mourn with you for that baby that hasn't come yet. I mourn with you for all those moments a mother has with her child that we are being denied so far. I mourn with you in feeling alone in all of this and helpless in the situation.

Becca: Thank you for your caring words and understanding. I don't think I'll be on the site for a while. Dh and I need to figure a few things out so we are going to put ttc on the back burner for a while.

Thanks for all your friendships!

the embarrassment of buying HPTs month after month
:<
I've actually had to stop buying them from my local supermarket because the cashiers always make a comment :/ please just bag my pee sticks and hand me my change!

Aryian
hey I understand your need to take a break from the site to sort stuff out. Im really really going to miss your posts. Knowing you were posting while in my situation really kept me sane. I appreciate your freindship and I hope time away will help you. Dh and I have decided to wait one more year for the fertility treatments. Since we have to pay out of pocket fot it we decided to try to get out of debt first. So ill most likely still be here when you come back. Hell I will probably still be here when Joy comes back for baby number 2. Lol ok I hope not that long. Wishing you peace of mind girl and all the happiness in the world. Take care of yourself. Your a wonderful person and you deserve to be happy.

Elle
Lol, right on. Last week me an dh went to a store and bought a bunch of hpts and the cashier asked us if we wanted a boy or a girl. Then she told us the hpts she used with her 2 pregnancies. She also showed us the tattoos of her 2 kids names. Also her and the lady behind us in line joked about how many tests I was buying. The girl in line said, those tests are accurate. If one says your pisitive then they all will. Super depressing. They both just acted like I must be pregnant if I was buying hpts. Well the tests were neg and I got my period so now im really going to be avoiding that cashier.

yup I got the "do you want a boy or girl" one time and another time "are you hoping to be or not" and "well they're expensive but it's best to check isn't it?" all from the same store! grrr!

I've got 2 Clearblue digital stored away now that'll probably never see the light of day if my body has its way

lol yes, I've gotten the "are you hoping for a yes or a no" from the cashier selling me the hpts. Would I buy more than one test if I was hoping for a no, seriously.

Rant for the day - Speaking of hpts, I really got jerked around this cycle with some convincing evaps (that appeared in the time limit mind you). Evaps, fake positive, imagined lines, I don't know and it doesn't matter. The point is I got my hopes up. Then af was 2 days late, so I really got my hopes up and this morning I wake up and af has arrived. 2 freakin days late. So yeah having a crappy day. These are some of my crappy tests.

http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test-gallery/my-pregnancy-test28420

http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test-gallery/my-pregnancy-test29545

http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test-gallery/my-pregnancy-test29871

There were even more, but this is all I posted on the website. Seriously so cruel!!!!

Seriously, its Friday night and im down in the dumps feeling sorry for myself, at home, on this website instead of enjoying my night. Whats wrong with me. I guess its just a bad day when af arrives.