whitelady's Countdown

About Me / My Trying to Conceive Story

Hi everyone, my story is a little bit colorful but i will enlighten you anyway.

I suffered with a condition caused emetophobia (fear of vomiting) gradually over the course of six months this got more and more out of control, and my weight plummeted, at my lowest i was 5'5st and i am 5'4 so i was pretty unwell.
My periods stopped when i hit about 6st and remained absent whilst i got down to rock bottom. Gradually with having a family as my motivation to beat this, i started to very slowly gain weight. I would buy occasional baby grows and keep them tucked away in a basket. When i had a bad day i would sit and look through them remembering how much i want a family and why it is so important that i gain the weight back and get better.

Gradually over the next year i very slowly started to gain weight. Eventually after a two year battle i was 7'5st and on Christmas eve 2008 my period came back. I have never been so happy to see AF, they continued and my weight continues to increase. Over the next year collecting more baby things and scrap booking with the thing i would want i got back up to 8'5st.

I was so proud of myself for doing it on my own and it made me so so sure that experiencing how i would feel if i couldn't have kids i knew i defiantly wanted them!

June 2009 My now husband proposed to me. I felt like this was it, marriage the babies, the ball had finally started rolling. The wedding was set for September 2010.

April 2010, after months of discharge and irregular bleeding and god knows how many appointments with my GP i finally got refereed to a Consultant Gynecologist. two weeks before my 25th Birthday after a MRI scan a biopsy and a painful wait, i was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer.
I was so confused, i had never considered it would happen to me at my age, but it had and now my fertility was on the line..AGAIN!
the wait was for the surgery, i was told that i had a tumor 5x5cm and they wouldn't know how much of my cervix they would had to take until they had a look inside. But there was a risk that they would wake me up and tell me that i would loose either my whole cervix, ovaries or the whole lot (hysterectomy).
Thankfully i managed to get away with a generous cone biopsy (they removed a good chunk of my cervix) and lymph node removal of all the pelvic nodes.

From the biopsy they took during the surgery they found out that there had still been a small amount of cancer remaining so in June 10 i had a Leetz procedure to remove another layer of cervix.
I then had the all clear.

The wedding had taken a back seat and the baby dream was moving away. My now husband and concerned family decided to postpone the wedding until June 2011 to give me some time to deal with what i had been through and get back on track. All was well up until February 2011, i had started having horrific pain during ovulation, before and during my period. My periods were also getting really heavy and i was struggling to cope with them.

I went back to my Gynae consultant and persisted about how much pain i was in. I was sent away the month before the wedding to think about the option of exploratory surgery to diagnose and remove Endometriosis and adhesion s.

We got married (amazing day!) went on our honeymoon, got back and i went in. Agreed to the surgery (with all the risks attached) I had the surgery in Late July 2011 and they confirmed Endometriosis, and removed it along with a number of adhesions and i have had much less pain ever since.

I have so many worries about my fertility and capability to have a baby it's untrue i am just so scared something else will go wrong with me and it won't be an option.

I hope that explains a little bit about my situation and thank you for reading if you got this far you are patient as i know i am a rambler!

Thank you for reading!