Community post

Trying for my rainbow baby...again

Hello ladies, I'm 35 years old and I have three beautiful children from a previous relationship. I am currently tying for baby number one with my fiance who has no children. We have been together for 5 years and have no children together. He wants a child badly. Has even discussed possibly not wanting to marry me if we can not produce a child together. Can you imagine the pressure I must feel. We have lost two babies, our most recent was last September. I was sharing my journey on here, was so excited when I got my bfp after 6 long cycles. Was crushed when I lost my baby at 8 weeks.
I stopped ttc due to the grief of losing another baby, and I finding out my fiance was cheating on me. The pain was too much. I think the pressure form ttc, along with losing two childern was too much for us both. We handled our grief in different ways.
Even still, him and I have stayed together, went to counseling, got past our issues and pain...so here I am again. Trying again for our rainbow baby.
Up until this point him and I have been using the pull out method as birth control, therefore my body doesn't have to come off from hormones or anything like that. But it still takes us a year or more to conceive. We are not that fertile couple who can make it happen our first try. Partly because he works out of town. And my cm is very hostile.
This is our first month "back to business" as we like to call it. Although we were not ttc since last year, I continued to track my cycles and ovulation. My cycles are 26 to 27 days long. I typically ovulate on day 13 or 14. Right now I'm waiting to ovulate. I'm on cycle day 8. I'm looking for cycle buddies. I can not do this alone. I'm scared and anxious, but so ready to hold my rainbow baby in my arms.
I will not give up. I can not give up. I dream of the day. Baby dust to us all....good vibes and positive thoughts!

1 Reply • 6 years ago

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