Community post

Hi, Hopeful. Welcome to the site and thanks for sharing your story! I feel like a lot of us are in the same boat with hiding the emotional rollercoaster that struggling to conceive brings with it. Please don't feel alone!

I am also 30 years old... you have so much time! I am in several forums and there is a wide, wide range of women who are TTC.It can be so hard to watch everyone around you conceive, deliver, and raise their perfect little miracles while you have an empty uterus and empty arms… I’m totally there with you, sister. You are not a terrible person. We all feel that way sometimes and I think that joining this site and getting some support in the online world in addition to your sweet DH can make a huge difference! Everyone is so welcoming and helpful here.

I’m glad that you found a doctor that will prescribe you Clomid… but I would seriously recommend finding a fertility specialist who will run tests not only on you, but on your DH to discover the root of your problems conceiving. Don’t take their criticism of your weight! Many people who are overweight have no difficulties conceiving at all! If you have really been trying for 10 years, it’s time to seek a professional, reproductive endocrinologist or other fertility specialist, opinion!!!

I’ll tell you a little bit about my journey. I am now 30, DH is 31. We have been TTC actively for 2.5 years. I had one chemical pregnancy in November 2015, and saw our first RE in March 2016. My DH was diagnosed with severe oligospermia (only hundreds where there should have been millions) and also with XYY (where normal guys are XY) and early testicular failure. I was initially diagnosed with low ovarian reserve and told I wouldn’t produce enough follicles/eggs to make IVF viable. I was heartbroken. We moved because of jobs and after another year (March 2017) we made an appointment with a RE clinic near our new house. They confirmed DH’s labs, but rechecked mine and said my ovarian reserve is perfect, above what was expected for my age. We are currently in our first cycle of IVF; finished a course of stims with egg retrieval 4/28, got 20 eggs which 18 were mature and fertilized with ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection) because of the severe low sperm count. 15 matured to the 5-6 day mark and were biopsied and frozen. Our PGS because of the XYY came back with 7 healthy normal boys and 3 normal healthy girls, all of whom are frozen and waiting for us. I was also diagnosed with a uterine septum which I had hysteroscopy and resection of yesterday. My first frozen embryo transfer will be at the end of June.

So even if everything seems hopeless, just know that you can pursue the desire to be a mommy if you truly want to! I will warn you that it’s hard, can feel almost impossible sometimes, but I believe in the end it will be so worth it. I feel like since it’s obviously a desire you have, you owe it to yourself to find a doctor who will LISTEN to you and do the tests necessary to start you on your path.

I’m here if you have any questions along your journey. Good luck, and welcome again!!