Community post

To Try or Not

It's been an extremely emotional week for me.

Started spotting Friday, very light. Continued Saturday. Definitely not my normal period. So, Sunday I get a HPT to find out if my period is coming or not. At this point I'm 16 dpo with high temps. Surprisingly, HPT, taken in early afternoon, comes back with BFP! Bought a pack of 3, so Monday morning with FMU, test again. Another BFP. Both were faint, but still BFP!

Email doctor with information and Monday afternoon I'm keeping blood taken to test HCG. The spotting has continued on. Not enough to need a pad or anything. Tuesday the spotting hasn't stopped and I'm now freaking out. Get into doctor's that afternoon. HCG came back at 33, but don't know if going up or down. Yes, I'm pregnant but in limbo.

Spotting continues into Wednesday and off I am to get more blood drain and to test my blood type for possible RhoGAM shot, if I'm miscarrying. Third HPT taken this morning comes back BFN.

By Thursday evening, the spotting hasn't let up, and my second HCG result comes back at 20.

In four days I went from BFP to BFN. Today, I've stayed home from work, spotting still continuing, though I've never felt any cramping. I've had plenty of chocolate and sweets. Gone from wanting to try immediately again, to never wanting to try again. Wondering how I can trust my body to carry a pregnancy. Didn't help that I had to go in for the RhoGAM shot because I have O negative blood. And no, this wasn't a chemical pregnancy. My doctor is calling it a miscarriage.

I worry for how I'll view another pregnancy. Will I ever be excited about it or merely indifferent? How did anyone else find the courage to try again?

0 Replies • 7 years ago

0 0 0 0