Community post

I'm so so sorry about your loss. I recently went through it myself. I was a little further along than you, but I agree it doesn't matter how far along you are, you still lost a baby. And it's heartbreaking. :( Do you intend to try again soon? How is your husband coping? Did your doctor give you any insight into how to be more successful next time?

I know a lot of times there is really nothing you can do to prevent it. It's sadly just a part of life, and something people don't discuss too much. :/

Each day will get a little better, just hang in there. :)

I am so sorry for both your losses.

justminick: I just went through the same thing and it's heartwrenching. You are definitely not alone.

DH & I have been TTC for 20 cycles and the last cycle we had our first IUI and our first BFP which we saw on Wed., Nov 5th. Our doctor told us to wait til 16/17 DPO which would've landed us on the Sat/Sun after we saw our BFP. But on Fri, Nov 7th, one of the girls from the FF forums suggested I call and get in for a blood test, so on that Fri I got in before the Lab closed. Well, unfortunately the doctors office is closed during the weekend but they have an on-call nurse there on Saturdays. So I called for my results and found out I was indeed pregnant but my levels were very low and she said on Monday I would probably hear from the doctors office and be put on Progesterone Pills. I had been cramping but heard it was normal, that the uterus was probably stretching and then on Sunday I started spotting. But it wasn't normal spotting. Well, Monday morning I woke up early and called the doctors office to tell them I had been spotting and didn't know what to do. They called me back put me on Progesterone pills and that night I lost my baby at 4w 6d...basically 5 weeks. I just knew what came out of me was my baby. And of course all the nurse said on Tuesday was to keep taking the progesterone and to come in that Friday for another blood test. She did say from what I described it sounded like I had lost it but on Fri we would know more. So on Fri, Nov 14th it was confirmed that I had indeed suffered a miscarriage. I turn 38 this Friday. I am stuck hosting Thanksgiving this year and have no desire to celebrate another holiday season of feeling like this. I didn't tell anyone except for DH and my best friend. Now I get to be asked how the baby making process is coming along and if we are pregnant yet. I feel so depressed. I cried almost all week last week when I wasn't at work. Had to lie to people that I was just suffering a cold and still using that excuse. I still find myself crying at times. Somebody told me that I might not feel better until I am pregnant and really until that baby is in our arms.

The doctor told us that we had to wait 2 periods before we can do another IUI. And strongly suggested we use foam and condoms. I asked the nurse what happens if we don't do that and we get pregnant again on our own and she said at least wait til we have had 1 period. They are worried that I will suffer another mc.

I don't think it really matters how far along you are. A loss is a loss. I had never seen a BFP in all our time trying. And when we did see it I had a very hard time believing it. Maybe it was my body trying to tell me that it wasn't going to stick. If you need to talk about it or vent with someone who is going through this too...I am here. Some of the ladies in my other forums suggested turning to the TTC Miscarriage and Losses section because it helped them get through it. I am hoping these forums help me get through this until I can start TTC again.