Community post

Is it bad to feel bad?

My husband is in the military and he was home on leave in December and January of 2015/16. He was home for us to get married. We weren't trying to get pregnant, but we weren't preventing it either. We just thought, if it happened, it was meant to be. Well, I did get pregnant. I went and got my ursine and blood tests done at the Doctor's and found out officially that we were expecting! I was so excited! I was gonna be a first time mommy. However, I was VERY early on when it was confirmed. But, they had scheduled another blood test for me the next week because my levels were really low and I just thought it was because I was so early. But, when I got my results back from the 2nd test, my levels completely dropped. They went back to a -1. I had had a Chemical Pregnancy. I only "knew" I was "pregnant" for a week and it wasn't even a fetus, just a blastocyst that didn't hold on. I'm still really torn up about it and I feel like I shouldn't be because it hardly was anything. It's just the knowing that it could have been, and it wasn't. I've blamed myself, saying that it was my fault that my body basically rejected it. But, I just feel like I shouldn't be aloud to feel bad because of women who have miscarriages-women who knew they were *actually* pregnant for longer than I did. If I get pregnant, will my baby even be considered a rainbow baby? Please, someone, help me.

1 Reply • 7 years ago

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