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Chemical pregnancy: "not your fault"

So many websites about chemical pregnancy say it is caused by chromosome problems and "It's not your fault" but then thet immediately say "you're aware of it by testing too early" and stuff like that and basically saying 'if you wouldnt have tested so early, you wouldn't have known about it and you wouldn't feel all this pain and loss'. I don't know, it kind of just feels insensitive and saying it's you caused this pain to yourself. Any thoughts?

4 Replies • 7 years ago


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I'm so sorry :( it doesn't matter how early it is, it's still hard. Don't listen to the negativity.


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7 years ago


My thoughts are that its total crap. I only started testing on day 2 of missed period knowing that they are normally like clockwork and it was on day 5 that it came. If its gonna happen then its gonna happen and it doesnt matter how early you test. Dont listen to things like that. Its not fair on ur self

7 years ago


Hi,
They are saying that it's not your fault, nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome. A cp is a pregnancy that is not viable for any number of reasons, all of which are out of your control. It might have been the sperm at fault but that doesn't make it your partners fault either.
You would never have known if you hadn't tested because the pregnancy was never going to progress, not because you have brought the hurt on by testing early. We all test early, that's what the tests were made for and we make the choice to test even though we know it can still go wrong.
A loss is a loss no matter how early you test so be kind to yourself. A cp sucks but you now know you can get pregnant which is a small positive out of it.
Good luck and hope you get a sticky bean soon

7 years ago


I'm feeling sad & sort of wishing I hadn't tested too. I've started bleeding today(like AF/ CD1 amount of red blood) at 18DPO after some faint positive tests from 12 DPO.

It also makes me wonder if & how many times it has happened before. ..'Thinking of the times when I was in a true 'Not trying/Not preventing' headspace & I didn't have any tests around to witness/monitor it.

I guess this is the downside of being able to know earlier. The benefit is that when it is a viable pg., we have time to take pre-natals & not take anything that might be bad for the embryo/fetus/baby. So I guess it makes it worth it.

I'm RH-negative and wondering if I need to call my OB-GYN about getting Rhogam or not.(My husband is RH+) I was only about 4 weeks+5 days acc'd to my other online chart. sigh.

This all a new part of the TTC/NTNP process for me. I am older so I'm not feeling super shocked or anything that this is happening. Just bummed. I kind of knew something might be wrong when my earlier tests were so faint. Usually by 10DPO my lines were always pretty strong/dark before.


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7 years ago


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