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Current 11dpo looking for fellow first timers for support

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Hi all, we have been TTC our first for 6 months now and I have been on these boards reading almost every single day, this process has now gotten so obsessive to me my DH is tired of me over analyzing everything only to be let down with a BFN every single month.

I'm 11dpo now, AF is due on Saturday (5/14) and I have taken probably 6 internet cheapies since 9dpo and I keep getting BFN. Every month I feel like I get the symptoms, then just chalk them up to AF time. This month has been a bit different:

0-7dpo: Not much change, I just noticed I was VERY gassy (like I am during AF) and bloated
8dpo: breasts got very tender and I was woken up to cramps during the night.
9dpo: breasts still tender, starting to get noticeable veins, mild cramps on and off again waking me up in the night. BFN (tested today because of Mother's Day, thought it would be a sign and a welcome surprise)
10dpo: Still bloated/gassy, breast tenderness goes down, veins disappearing, thick CM appears BFN
11dpo: Today - breasts only sore to the touch. Still bloated and gassy. No hints of anything else.

I am one who has VERY painful cramps at AF time and never thought I really cramped beforehand, the last few months I've gotten these mild cramps a couple of days early which then led to AF, but this time they were a full 7 days before AF which has never happened and I feel this is making me obsess even more.

I hope you ladies accept me into the community! I just know and hope having some support will help ease my mind and if another BFN pops up I know I will need the help to get through it and start from scratch again :(


713 Replies • 7 years ago


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Hi Ladies,

Sorry I haven't replied sooner, I have been on vacation.

Regarding tracking CM, I noticed this month that after AF I had watery, white lotion like CM. Then at CD13-15 I had EWCM so we twice., Then instead of CM changing to sticky and drying up, it went back to watery, white lotion.
Checking my cervix was very confusing, as I checked nearly every other day and it became low and hard and I thought that I was out for sure but then right before AF was due it went back up and soft.

The only symptoms that I had were really sensitive nipples, purple looking vagina (sorry TMI), headaches and exhaustion. Also just after ovulation, I lost my appetite for like 7 days and didn't feel I wanted to eat anything.

But that month, I only took two pregnancy tests when normally I take 1 every other day from 9dpo. I did that because I read this really good article that said most women don't even implant until 9dpo then it takes roughly 3 days to get enough hormones in your blood then another 3 days to get into your urine to test. So you are looking at 15dpo for a true result and that's why I waited this month.

My doctor also said to me that baby making is like rolling a dice with 7 sides as there is a 7 in 1 chance each month. It comes down to a lucky roll of the dice, you might think I am talking rubbish but it is another way to look at it.

The only other thing that I can suggest, which is what I was going to use if I didn't get pregnant this month, is Soya Isoflavones. They are herbal tablets that are the equivalent to Clomid. All the women I have spoken to that have used them have gotten within 2 months of using them. They are also great for women who don't ovulate regularly or late. You use them the same as clomid, take 120mg on the 2nd day of your proper bleed until the 6th day. After that month, you can up the dosage but I have been recommended to start at 120mg. I lived in the UK so I got mine over the counter at Tesco. But you can also buy them from Amazon and other online stores.

Wishing you all the luck in the world


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7 years ago



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7 years ago


@Sezzyeb - thank you for all those details - I had very similar symptoms this month but we didn't get lucky this time unfortunately! I hope you are doing well!

@babybump89 - Happy Belated Birthday!!!!
A women's clinic is great place to start - they may do a pap and inspection if you haven't had one in a while as well. Keep me posted and good luck!

I got off the pill when I was 32 and we kinda gave it a year of being super relaxed about it, I never tracked my cycles we weren't timing sex, just having a lot of fun figuring it would likely happen at some point. After a year had passed, I started to track my cycles more closely and would just use apps to give us an idea of my fertile window. After about 2-3 cycles of that, I was actually at my doctor's office for something altogether unrelated (I was having severe chest pain when breathing deeply and it was getting worse as the days were going on) and that's when I discovered that I was B12 deficient. B12 and B6 (folate) are really critical for baby making, so we knew it would be a little while for that to sort itself out. I went back last Oct (so we are at a year and a half since being off the pill) to get my B12 levels checked and that's when I asked about whether I should get a hormone profile done since we had been "trying" for 1.5 years. So we did that and I got my results and all was we hormone wise and B12 wise. So that's when they ordered the first ultrasound which I had in November last year and that was inconclusive and they wanted the second one thinking I might have fibroids. Had the second ultrasound in Dec and that came back all clear.

So once I got the all clear, I figured it would only be a matter of time and maybe I need to be more patient, but it just feels like it's been forever when really I may only have had 5 or 6 viable cycles in the past year given all the B12 issues and tests.

We are actually thinking we may do an at home spermcheck for my hubby - his schedule is a little crazy with work now and it's hard to get a time at the clinic that will work with his schedule. It will only check for count, not motility or morphology, but I think that if his count it good we can kind of both relax a little and let nature take it's course for a little bit longer!

7 years ago


I may try tracking CM too just to give it a shot, why not! Thanks SezzyeB!

We tried the at home fertility tests, it came with a male and female test and the female was a LOT easier than the male's! Mine came up pretty dark, but not AS dark as it was supposed to for a negative I don't think..I didn't want to think it anyway. His was very difficult and it was pretty elaborate to do, I felt very much like a mad scientist. It involved stirring, dissolving, using just the right amount of solution drops (2 different kinds of solution in addition to the sperm that needed to go in) and if you mess it up you're just at a loss for that test. So good luck! His was also very hard to read because the 2 shades of blue we were supposed to be matching were completely different shades of blue! So they may have had the same intensity, but we could tell because one was navy blue dye and one was more aqua/baby blue dye! Did you say you were in Canada? Maybe they have better brands than we do here, I got it on Amazon which may also be a problem!


7 years ago • Post starter


HI ladies...first time posting so bare with me :

I had my first IUI this month. Have been TTC for 1 yr 8 months. My SO had a VR last year in August. After that we tried for a yr before finding out I was not Ovulating.
After that i started going to a women's specialty care facility to attack the infertility issue. Found out I have PCOS which causes me not to Ovulate on my own. I'm on my 5th month with Clomid.
The first month we went in for an IUI- the sperm died in transport
The 2 months after that we were not able to go ahead with the IUI because his semen was so thick they could not separate the sperm.
This is the first month we were able to get him thinned out and i ovulated (normally one or the other goes wrong).
Couple hrs after the IUI i had HORRIBLE cramps and back pain. I'm not 5DPO and have had horrible headaches the past 2 days that tylenol will not touch, gassy, bloated, heartburn and dizziness.
FX that we only needed the running start for our swimmers, but with the luck we have had so far i'm not holding my breath. They told us before they IUI that the number were not what they want to try but it was up to us if we wanted to go ahead with it anyways.

Anyone gone through an IUI? Are my symptoms normal. I have 2 step kids and none of my own.

7 years ago


Hi bbaneck!
It sounds like you two are having a heck of a time. My fingers are crossed for you! I haven't experienced IUI myself but I am hoping your symptoms are a sign that it has worked out for you this time!!
I wish I could be more help!

@Babybump89 - thank you so much for that information! I didn't even know there was one for women too! In Canada we only have one option called SpermCheck. I figured it might be a good start, at least give me piece of mind if his count is ok and if it's not ok, it might encourage him to come with me to the clinic and get properly checked out. We had a really good talk about it lasnight, it always feels good to check in with each other and be on the same page.

Good luck!

7 years ago


hello bbaneck! I don't know much about IUI other than what it is, but I hope those symptoms mean something good! Thats a little early, but still around when you would be feeling those sorts of things :)

twwtoolong - The one for women was very much like an ovulation type test. Its a POAS type test that has to be taken the 3rd day of AF and it's supposed to test the quality and quantity (only if it's high) of your eggs I believe.

Here's hoping! Keep us posted on if y'all decide to test or not!


7 years ago • Post starter


I've got my appointment tomorrow and I'm only just now starting to get a little nervous! I don't know if I'm nervous because I don't know what the process is going to be, or nervous just in case I find out some bad news :( The hubs keeps asking if he should go to the appointment, but 1. It's 40 minutes away in the city I work in (so he would have to make an extra trip whereas I'm already there) and 2. It's a women's clinic, do they even allow men? I told him not to make the trip but I'm still worried I'm going to be rattled!

Any news on your end?


7 years ago • Post starter


@babybump89 Good Luck with your appointment. Women's clinic do allow men to come along...in my case with the IUI i HAVE to bring him along :)
The first time I went in for a scan and go bad news i told him I wasn't going in alone again, so he came with me to every appt and when there was more bad news i'm grateful that he was there and able to drive me home. I was alone when i got my last IUI however, he needed to get to work and it was taking forever to get into the doctor. Whatever you're comfortable with

7 years ago


@babybump89- Good luck today - my fingers are crossed that everything goes smoothly for you!

Nothing new on this end - we are not changing much for this cycle - we knew it would take time to get into the clinic and we'd miss this one and our next cycle after that we are both going to be away - so we are looking at july/august for an appt. That will give us 9 months with my B12 sorted, so if it's still not working for us naturally at that point I have a feeling we'll definitely need some help.

Keep us posted - I'd love to hear how it went today. I remember the first set of tests and I just wanted to badly for them to find the reason so we could fix it, I was bizzarely disappointed when they didn't find anything wrong and hubby couldn't understand why! So no judgements here if you need to vent about the experience afterwards!

7 years ago



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