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Current 11dpo looking for fellow first timers for support

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Hi all, we have been TTC our first for 6 months now and I have been on these boards reading almost every single day, this process has now gotten so obsessive to me my DH is tired of me over analyzing everything only to be let down with a BFN every single month.

I'm 11dpo now, AF is due on Saturday (5/14) and I have taken probably 6 internet cheapies since 9dpo and I keep getting BFN. Every month I feel like I get the symptoms, then just chalk them up to AF time. This month has been a bit different:

0-7dpo: Not much change, I just noticed I was VERY gassy (like I am during AF) and bloated
8dpo: breasts got very tender and I was woken up to cramps during the night.
9dpo: breasts still tender, starting to get noticeable veins, mild cramps on and off again waking me up in the night. BFN (tested today because of Mother's Day, thought it would be a sign and a welcome surprise)
10dpo: Still bloated/gassy, breast tenderness goes down, veins disappearing, thick CM appears BFN
11dpo: Today - breasts only sore to the touch. Still bloated and gassy. No hints of anything else.

I am one who has VERY painful cramps at AF time and never thought I really cramped beforehand, the last few months I've gotten these mild cramps a couple of days early which then led to AF, but this time they were a full 7 days before AF which has never happened and I feel this is making me obsess even more.

I hope you ladies accept me into the community! I just know and hope having some support will help ease my mind and if another BFN pops up I know I will need the help to get through it and start from scratch again :(


713 Replies • 7 years ago


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I totally threw it out! I was driving myself crazy looking at it a 100 different ways. I appreciate the support though! I will test again Wed morning if AF isn't here by then. I'll post that one if so!

Thanks for still checking in on me! Fingers crossed!

7 years ago


PS. I am totally using your flashlight trick next time!!!

7 years ago


Ok- I am officially losing my mind.

I woke up this morning and for sure had AF cramps and was convinced that the second I went to the bathroom and wiped that I would have confirmation that I in had fact lost my mind already for thinking I saw a line yesterday....then nothing, not even a hint of pink (mine ususally start this way) and now my cramps don't feel like AF cramps anymore and are going away (not typical for me). I am sure it must be en route, but the suspense is killing me! Gah!!

7 years ago


AAAH it's killing me! That's what has tricked me the last couple of months, my cramps have started coming hours ahead of AF and really really convince me - but NEVER for 2 days or so like that!

You sure I haven't convinced you to try test again today? :)


7 years ago • Post starter


Well AF showed up lastnight :( - oh well, yet another cycle.

This is so frustrating. I know we can try again in a week or so, but if that doesn't work, our next cycle we'll be out of town visiting my hubby's parents for essentially what should be my full fertile window (though my hubby has been really sweet and is going to book us in a hotel for a night so we can have some bd time), but it'll likely be July before we can really try again. I also turn 35 in July, which I feel is essentially dooms day for tccing.

I might try the softcup thing this month and maybe pressed, like I mentioned before.

We have a referral to a fertility clinic in Jan. that we held off knowing that I had sorted out my B12 and were hoping that was the issue and that it would happen soon. I also wanted to lose about 20 lbs (I am down about 5-10 lbs so far) and my hubby smokes (awful I know) and he wanted to quit (he's down to 4-5 a day now). I just don't know what to do, I literally feel like everyone around me is getting knocked up at the drop of a hat except for me.

Sorry to be so blue. After a year and a half of trying to play it cool, having fun, not getting too obsessive over things and then getting the blood work and multiple ultrasound tests, thinking I might have had fibroids, than finding out I don't, but then that meant we were back at square one, I feel at times like I am at the end of my rope.

I dont' know what it is but both hubby and I are resistant to go to the clinic. He's not thrilled about the idea of getting his sperm tested, I really don't want to have to take medication to get pregnant. I have heard and read so many stories about women on mulitple cycles of clomid and how awful the symptoms are and still nothing expect now they have PCOS. I guess I just want to know whether it's a possibility for us to conceive naturally or not. If it is, I'll find the strength to keep positive, but if it's not, then at least I can refocus what our future looks like. Maybe it is time to go to the clinic.

You mentioned you were thinking of going to the clinic, have you decided to go or are you thinking of trying some different things at home instead this cycle?

Sorry for the massive vent - I have great friends who are supportive, but they have either only had to try for 6 months to get pregnant and don't really get it or have been through everything (clomid, trigger shots, IUI, mulitple IVF) only to find out 3-4 years and $50 000+ later, that there is no way they can concieve naturally- I think this is part of the reason why I am so hesitant to go to the fertility clinic. I have a major case of the blah's today.

7 years ago


Oh no :( I hate that. I've been reloading this post hoping to see a better update the past 24 hours. Maybe the hotel will be the key that you need - we're in the same boat too with being out of town during my fertile week and it won't be extremely convenient.

I did end up making an appointment somewhere during my fertile week, but I'm like you - I don't really want to go that long medicated route so it's more of just to check and see if theres something there stopping it from happening naturally. I'll know more answers to that next week.

I dont blame you for being blue, I know I'm only 6-7 months in and I know how it makes me feel so I can't imagine it being that long and still nothing.

I've got preseed (the actual brand, not the off brand this time) coming in today so I'm hoping that will help our non-convenient month of trying. We're officially go time here now that AF is gone and I'm trying to stay positive through it all, but unfortunately I'm going into it with a negative outlook.

This is our month. It's going to happen for both of us!


7 years ago • Post starter


Thank you so much for checking in on me! I tried to keep myself distracted yesterday and went for a super long walk and then ran some errands so I wouldn't just be sitting around the house going mad waiting!

I have heard really good things about preseed - can't hurt to try it!

I think I am going to talk to the hubby tonight and see if we can book an appt for the fertility clinic in July (the consultations etc are covered by our national health care in Canada, so it's usually a 4 week wait to book an appointment). Murphy's Law - maybe if we make the appointment, I'll no longer need it by then! I am trying very hard to stay positive! lol

Keep me posted! I have been through some of the testing (transvaginal ultrasounds, etc) so I am happy to answer questions if you have any! Good luck and have fun! :)

7 years ago


It won't hurt to try anything new at this point! I tried to get an appointment for this week, but they were completely booked! I kind of wanted to know before my fertile week just in case I needed to add something else, but I took the first appointment they had available.

Do you know what usually happens at the first visit? It is just me going, no hubby, and it's called a "fertility evaluation". They didn't give me any details aside from bring the paperwork so Im really in the dark about what they will do! I've read things online about shooting dye in there and x-raying, looking via ultrasound, etc. Would you happen to know?

I say go ahead and book something, then you can always cancel it before it gets here - but if it takes that long to fill up go ahead and do that so its in the back of your mind. Then yes, hopefully you will cancel it for a great reason!


7 years ago • Post starter


With my doctors office it was mostly just alot of questions about how regular your cycles are, how often you are having sex, how long you've been trying, sexual health and birth control. On the first day, in terms of testing, I only had my blood drawn to check my hormone levels and then booked an ultrasound.

I haven't done an HSG test yet (the one with the dye)- they only do those in fertility clinics here.

My doctor started with an abdominal ultrasound, to rule out PCOS, endometriosis, fibroids or polyps. This is just where they have the probe across your lower belly. The most uncomfortable part about that is you typically need to have a full bladder to help with the imaging so that can be a little uncomfortable. For me, they couldn't get a great picture of my ovaries and wanted to check out my cervix so they did a transvaginal as well on my first visit. That one is a little more invasive. They actually have to insert a thin probe vaginally and image the ovaries and cervix. It's not the most comfortable procedure and can feel pretty pokey (no worse than if hubby comes in contact with my cervix while we are BDing), so nothing outrageous. I ended up doing a second transvaginal as they thought they saw fibroids on the first one, but then saw nothing on the second one.

Since you are at a fertility clinic already they may operate a little different and do the ultrasounds on the first day. I am going to talk to the hubby tonight and probably call the clinic tomorrow.

Keep me posted on what's happening - I know it was a little nerve wracking for me going in for the ultrasound tests, I am here if you need to rant/talk out the nerves!

7 years ago


It's actually just at a regular OBGYN/Women's clinic so I'm not sure what kind of fertility stuff they can even check for there, I assumed it was whatever is easiest then if there is a problem they would refer me to a fertility specialist. I'm just worried that since we're only in month 7 and both under 30 (just turned 27 yesterday) that they'll tell me I need to wait a few more months before they can do anything =/

I can't even imagine going through what all you've done. After all of the visits were they able to tell you anything? How long had you been trying before you went and did all of that?


7 years ago • Post starter



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