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Current 11dpo looking for fellow first timers for support

Category: Trying to Conceive - TTC My First Child
Posted by babybump89 » May. 10, 2016 8:10pm

Hi all, we have been TTC our first for 6 months now and I have been on these boards reading almost every single day, this process has now gotten so obsessive to me my DH is tired of me over analyzing everything only to be let down with a BFN every single month.

I'm 11dpo now, AF is due on Saturday (5/14) and I have taken probably 6 internet cheapies since 9dpo and I keep getting BFN. Every month I feel like I get the symptoms, then just chalk them up to AF time. This month has been a bit different:

0-7dpo: Not much change, I just noticed I was VERY gassy (like I am during AF) and bloated
8dpo: breasts got very tender and I was woken up to cramps during the night.
9dpo: breasts still tender, starting to get noticeable veins, mild cramps on and off again waking me up in the night. BFN (tested today because of Mother's Day, thought it would be a sign and a welcome surprise)
10dpo: Still bloated/gassy, breast tenderness goes down, veins disappearing, thick CM appears BFN
11dpo: Today - breasts only sore to the touch. Still bloated and gassy. No hints of anything else.

I am one who has VERY painful cramps at AF time and never thought I really cramped beforehand, the last few months I've gotten these mild cramps a couple of days early which then led to AF, but this time they were a full 7 days before AF which has never happened and I feel this is making me obsess even more.

I hope you ladies accept me into the community! I just know and hope having some support will help ease my mind and if another BFN pops up I know I will need the help to get through it and start from scratch again :(

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babybump89
Posts: 262
Reply by twwtoolong » May. 11, 2016 9:37am

Hello babybump89!

I am currently 8 dpo (and on holidays while DH is not) so am going a little crazy with the tww business!

It's hard to say how long we have been ttcing. I got off the pill March 2014 at age 32 and we decided to "see what happens", fully expecting to be pregnant within at least a year. I wasn't, so I went to my doctor last summer and got blood work done. My hormones were good, but B12 was off the charts at only 112. I started supplementing every day and went back in Oct and my levels are great. In the meantime I have had two ultrasounds and all looks well with my lady parts. We did get a referral to the fertility clinic, but have been totally avoiding going, hoping it will happen naturally. DH hasn't been tested and is on the fence whether he wants to be tested.

I noticed before my B12 was regulated that my cycles were not regular. I would have some that were 24-25 days long (no idea if I was even ovulating since I wasn't temping or using opk's at the time) and others were as long as 29 days. Since my Oct/Nov cycle I am a consistent 28 days give or take 12 hours (could be evening of CD 27 or morning of CD 29). So I am trying to convince myself that we have only been viably ttcing for 6-7 months!

Here are my symptoms:

0-5dpo: Nothing really, a few hot flushes on DPO 1-2

6 dpo: Stomach was really upset in the evening

7 dpo: Felt some twinges, stabby type pains (could be in my head though as I have felt similar pains before with no result)

8 dpo: Mother's Day - I got a little weepy and sad after wishing what seemed like all my friends a happy mother's day and knew that nothing was going to be coming my way - I am usually not into a pitty party and have actually never cried over a BPN, so it was really odd to be so choked up and started crying when DH sensed something was up and asked me what was wrong.

10 dpo: strong sense of smell, dizzy/lightheaded in the evening and sorry if this is TMI, but major bout of diarreha in the afternoon, like literally had to run.

AF is not due for me until next Wednesday, so I am going to try and hold out to test until after AF is due (can't handle seeing the stark white BFN's)!

How are things today? Did you decide to test again?



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twwtoolong
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Reply by babybump89 » May. 11, 2016 10:25am

I know exactly how you feel! I did try testing again this morning with another internet cheapie and I psyched myself up before for the BFN, no surprise there. I went in with high hopes and expected the first month we started trying it would happen, they tell you all the time growing up how easy it is but its actually very difficult to make happen! I've been off the pill for 6 years or so now and our only "preventive" was withdrawal so I'm worried about that - but DH doesn't want me to schedule any Doctor visits until this 6th month mark is officially another fail.

My cycles average 27-29 days, I went back tracking my last 8 months and it has arrived about 3-4 days early each time which means it COULD come today, but the BFN is still so sad to see when I expect a faint line at least!

Mother's day really screwed up a lot of us I think, I was so sure that was a sign and that testing on M Day would give me that bfp.

Those stark white BFN's are the worst, I keep shining lights directly on them trying to convince myself there could be a line, but I can't even tell where the line WOULD show up.

Keep me posted on yours! Hopefully you'll get an early one!

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babybump89
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Reply by twwtoolong » May. 11, 2016 11:05am

It's so funny how our brains work, I was thinking the same thing - wouldn't it be great if I actaully was pregnant this mothers day. DH and I live in a different province than both our parents and we are going back to see them the end of June, both our Dad's turn 65 in June and it's his parents are having their 40th wedding anniversary. Part of me is so hopeful that we could tell them "the news" when we go back. We'll see what happens, it just feels like it's been so long with no result that it seems foolish sometimes to get my hopes up!

Men are so relaxed about all this, when I had my mini breakdown on Mother's day, DH didn't know what to do - to be honest I was a little blindsided by it too. We had talked about it all week, what we were going to do for our mothers, and none of it made me think about the fact that I wasn't one yet! He feels if it's meant to be, it'll be. We both want kids, but have seen friends go through heavy duty fertility treatment (mulitple IUI's and IVF cycles, several surgeries and are now looking into adoption). It's been so hard on them and we really don't feel like we want to go that far to ttc, but it's so hard to not obsess, especailly since I have been given the all clear so far.

My fingers are crossed that your cramping is a good sign and thank you for letting me vent! Sometimes I feel like my body is screaming at me that I should have a one track mind of ttcing!





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twwtoolong
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Reply by babybump89 » May. 11, 2016 11:21am

Oh no, venting is fine! I appreciate having someone else going through the same things to talk with because DH is tired of me telling him every little "symptom" then it being a fluke, so he says just wait until I'm late and then he'll start believing it lol!

When we started trying I was hoping that my mother's day gift to my mom would be sharing that news, so each holiday or event that comes up I just think "well here's another one where that won't be the case". All of our siblings and even sibling-in-law siblings are all announcing pregnancies or just had babies so we're turning into that couple of "when are you having kids?" and its a little rough to answer since we've been actively trying.

We've kind of written it off too of how far we want to go for it, I know it can be very stressful and expensive to take other routes. I'm kind of to the point if it didn't happen this time with how much we added (preseed, no caffeine, folic acid pills, among other things) then I just want to know 100% whether it can happen or not and put it out of my mind!

I can't imagine being on holiday and having nothing to occupy. I teach, so during the day I only obsess 50% of the time lol once I'm home though, it's all I do! My DH is out for summer already, but he doesn't have as much to stress over as me!

I really hope this is the month for both of us! Your symptoms sound like what Ive done every month, I swear I have the same symptoms every time!

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babybump89
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Reply by babybump89 » May. 11, 2016 11:37am

Well I just saw I had a very little bit of watery/light pink spotting - This is new! Every other month when I've thought I had spotting it was brownish, but this was very clearly watery and light light pink and only there when wiping. So this either is a very good sign, or AF is coming right on time in the next 24 hours. UGH why does it tease so much!?

Sorry for the TMI. lol

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babybump89
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Reply by twwtoolong » May. 11, 2016 11:58am

Oh my goodness! I am so excited for you! I hope it's implantation bleeding, it's around the right time for it!

That is so funny, I am teacher too! I teach at a college, so we have either May and June or July and August off. I have heard really good things about preseed. I am thinking about trying it next month along with maybe softcups to see if that will help (at least it won't hurt!). I automatically just function under the assumption that I am not pregnant to keep myself sane! lol

Other than that this month I have been limiting myself to 1 coffee or less a day (new) and then supplementing with a prenatal vit, B12 and D3 (new) and using OPK's (haven't done in a while).

I totally understand the "when are you having kids?" questions. We started getting those a couple of years ago, especially from his side (we've been together almost 11 years). He is an only child, and the only one of the grandchildren on his father's side that has any prospects of giving his grandma a great grand baby. It's only me and my sister in my family and she is 38 and not trying anytime soon, so the family pressure has definitely been on! They mostly now know we have been trying for over a year, so the have been kind enough to stop asking questions at least.

Keep me posted if there are any more changes! My fingers are crossed for you!




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twwtoolong
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Reply by babybump89 » May. 11, 2016 12:13pm

Oh see I'm in a high school and he teaches college, so he got out 3 weeks before me! I envy your college schedules!

We've been together about 9 years now, married for 3 - but both of us have older siblings so we were thinking wait for both of them to have kids and then we can start officially trying, well they've both beaten us by months and like i said now THEIR siblings are starting to have babies too so we have nieces and nephews galore!

I say we got preseed, but I actually got this other brand that was called conceive plus from Amazon which is supposed to do the same thing. I used it every other night during fertile week and a bit before/after, there were 8 in the box and I used 7! It didn't feel any different and didn't leave a mess or anything so I feel like it couldn't HURT to use it. If it didn't happen I will probably get the official "preseed" I see people talking about.

I don't drink coffee, Im bad with soda though so I've tried switching to sprite to replace the caffeine. I even stupidly cut out baths and switched to just quick lukewarm showers with the door open so I wouldn't raise my body temperature. Just so many silly little things that gave me hope this month! I don't think 1 coffee a day will hurt, I slipped and had an occasional soda but everything I've read says not to go over a certain amount and 1 cup a day isn't going to hurt that!

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babybump89
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Reply by personalchild » May. 11, 2016 1:46pm

Hey..
I'm 11dpiui..
And presently feel like AF is coming.. but on and off discomfort.
We are ttc our #1 for more than a year now..
I had lower abdomen cramps on 3 & 4dpiui and also 7 & 8dpiui..
And now also at 11dpiui.



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personalchild
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Reply by babybump89 » May. 11, 2016 2:12pm

Personalchild when is AF due for you? Everything I've read says its supposed to feel like AF is coming and you just want it to go on by without showing! How bad were your cramps? Mine were very very mild, just enough to cause discomfort, and they didn't last long roughly around the same time as you!

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babybump89
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Reply by twwtoolong » May. 11, 2016 2:45pm

Hi personalchild - as long as AF doesn't show up, you are still in the running.

So this is totally TMI but I went out for a walk (trying to stick to moderate intensity cardio after ovulation) and started feeling wetness. When I got home there was a lot of cream, lotiony cm. I don't want to read to much into it, but it's the first time I've had anything like it.

How you doing babybump89 - still getting some spotting?

Fingers crossed ladies!


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twwtoolong
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Reply by babybump89 » May. 11, 2016 2:52pm

I've been walking 1 mile each day on the treadmill for my mild cardio, also something new this month!

Ive been stuck in my classroom ever since and haven't had a chance to check, but I don't feel anything happening so I'm going to guess no? I've already convinced myself that if there's nothing when I get home I've GOT to test again, because why not? :)

That CM could be good news! I forgot to say on 9dpo I had a bout of very sticky/creamy cm and then nothing, I could never find a good site that told me what I should be looking for with that though. Whether thick vs thin was better or sticky vs watery or what. I've read so many conflicting stories about everything

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babybump89
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Reply by twwtoolong » May. 11, 2016 3:54pm

I am hoping it's a good sign (so much for trying to not get too optimistic this cycle)!
Keep us posted!


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twwtoolong
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Reply by babybump89 » May. 11, 2016 4:59pm

I'm so angry because yes, I'm super obsessive and optimistic now when I don't want to be!

I got home and there was nothing there - no spotting or anything. So I took a test and of course it was a BFN, DH even came in and was asking if I've been taking them correctly because he's convinced lol

So now it's back to waiting and hopefully this will lead to a BFP or maybe AF will show up and put me out of my misery.

Anymore symptoms for you today, twwtoolong?

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babybump89
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Reply by twwtoolong » May. 12, 2016 6:14am

Good Morning Ladies (well it's at least morning where I am in the world!)

@babybump89 - nothing really noticeable besides being tired, I must have fallen asleep on the couch around 9:30 lastnight!

It's super cute that your husband is convinced too! I loved it when that would happen with us - I think it's been so long that the only thing my DH is convinced of is that it is not going to happen naturally for us.

How are things going for you personalchild?
Did you test again this morning babybump89?





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twwtoolong
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Reply by babybump89 » May. 12, 2016 7:57am

Well not a good day here, before going to bed last night I felt bad cramps starting and knew that wasn't a good sign - woke up this morning and AF has come 2 days early, so no need to test. Back to square one I guess..a little disheartening.

Hopefully yours works out better than mine! Time to add some more things in, and add on a doctor visit to check for any problems just so we know its not all for nothing.

Baby dust to you! keep me posted!

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babybump89
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Reply by Sezzyeb » May. 12, 2016 8:06am

Hi Ladies,

This sounds like all good signs to me!!

I got my yesterday at 27DPO so you are never out until shows.

Good Luck to all of you

If you have any questions then I am always happy to help

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Sezzyeb
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Reply by twwtoolong » May. 12, 2016 8:49am

I am so sorry babybump89 - that sucks!!!

I still have 5 days to go before AF is officially late, so fingers crossed that it'll work out this time. Nothing new today really, I am not having tonnes of cm like I was yesterday (at least not yet - I haven't worked out yet today). :(

Never hurts to get checked out. I actually ended up having two vaginal ultrasounds. They initially thought I might have fibroids on my cervix, but the second once found nothing. It might sound weird, but at the time I was actually hoping it was fibroids, at least then we would have an answer (this was all around the same time that my B12 levels were just getting regulated in the fall).

Now that I think of it, we actually missed that cycle in December, I was on antibiotics for a sinus infection and got a raging yeast infection after my ultrasound (only the second one I've ever had- word to the wise, shower after the ultrasound and make sure to try and get all the gel out!). So maybe it's only been 5-6 viable cycles that we have been trying (this is totally a mind game I am playing with myself to try and convince myself that there is still a chance for us to get pregnant naturally).

I will say that I like using OPK's - it at least confirms an LH surge if you temp along with them (should see a big dip in temp right after the LH surge signalling ovulation), that and monitoring cm can be pretty effective at ensuring that you've ovulated. I personally only temped for like 2 cycles. My schedule during the school year is a little all over the place, somedays I have an 8 am class other days I won't have a class until noon, so being strict with my timing was always an issue and a huge pain in the ass.

Good luck on trying again! Feel free to vent more if you like - I know how disappointing it is when AF shows up. :(



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twwtoolong
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Reply by twwtoolong » May. 12, 2016 8:52am

Hi Sezzyeb-

Congratulations!!! How long were you trying?

Any tips on things you did differently this cycle?

Congrats again for your sticky bean!



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twwtoolong
Posts: 245

Reply by babybump89 » May. 12, 2016 8:56am

Thank you for being so helpful! I've seen a lot of people talk about tracking basal body temperature, but I don't really understand how to do that - is it just a regular thermometer and how often are you supposed to check do you know? I was just using some cheapie OPK tests and once I got 2 days of the surge lines I assumed ovulation was the next-ish day.

My schedule is pretty standard with school 7:30-4, but I don't get many breaks in there to do any midday testings. But summer starts right after the next time I ovulate now so I can try to do some intense tracking.

I think we all play mind games, I was sure this was the cycle with all the weird things that were happening but apparently I was just making it all up again, I should have known all the BFNs when there should have been a faint line were a sign, I just had so much hope!

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Reply by twwtoolong » May. 12, 2016 9:15am

babybump89- You can buy a basal body temp thermometer, but really all you need is one that has at least 1 decimal point. You only need to temp first thing in the morning as soon as you wake up and before you get out of bed, ideally at the same time everyday.

They recommend you start temping when AF starts so you can get a baseline or "coverline" of temps for the weeks leading up to ovulation. You then will see a dip in temp, indicating that you've ovulated. They will typically rise above the coverline within a day or two of ovulation and if you are pregnant they will usually stay high and above the coverline. Some people can see a dip part way through the LH phase indicating implantation, but it doesn't always dip for implantation. Typically, if your temps drop back down to close or below coverline after ovulation, than AF is on her way.

The tricky thing with temping is that you can only confirm ovulation after it happens and ideally you want to BD in the window of 3-4 days before ovulation and a day or two after. You can input your temps on this site, another one I used when I was temping was fertility friend.

I did like seeing that drop confirming ovulation after positive OPKs (I use the cheapies too!) - for certain women, especially those with PCOS, OPK's are really reliable. I did a fair amount of research on temping before I did it and fertility friend has a lot of resources to help you temp correctly.

Good luck! My fingers are crossed that your sticky bean is on it's way - maybe there will be vacation babies for both of us! :)


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twwtoolong
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