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Was anyone's first child unplanned, now TTC #2?

Hello :)

This is all new to me because my first child was unplanned. I wondered if anybody was in the same boat?

I'm fascinated by statistics and figures so I am like a kid at Christmas on this site, running around playing with all of the calculators. It's fun! I am not temping or doing OPKs (yet) - just playing around so far.

My older child is seven, and I had him with a different father to my husband who I am TTC with now. I can barely remember being pregnant the first time so it really feels like an entirely new experience, and of course, the planning part definitely is.

How is everyone else feeling? How old are your older children, do they have a different father to your current partner? Would love to chat with anyone in a similar situation.

27 Replies • 8 years ago


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Hello! Yes I was in the same situation when TTC my second. First was not planned didn't find out till morning sickness hit at 13weeks. Different dads too and 6 years apart in age.

8 years ago


Hi giggledust :) Thanks for your reply. Are you pregnant with #2 now or have they already arrived? How is your older one reacting?

8 years ago • Post starter


My first was a planned surprise. He's a pill baby. We planned to stop bc once that cycle was done then start ttc...surprise, got pregnant that very cycle. Same man. 1st and 2nd are 14.5yrs apart. 2nd and 3rd will be 26 months apart...prob our last baby as well.


8 years ago


Forever - this really hits home. so here is my situation.

I am TTC # 2. I have 3 kids (hmmmm) 16 y/o and 9 y/o are gifts my husband brought to me.

I have 1 biological daughter and she is 6 (7 in May) (her father hasn't seen her in over 2 years and hopefully wont)

All 3 live with us and My husband is really the only father my daughter knows. We have been together since she was 20 months old.

We got married 7/19/14 and I had my mirena removed in Feb 2016. So this is only month 2 trying for us.

I am 32 - DH is 38.

I was upset last month when I got my BFN but shouldn't have been surprised.

I am in my TWW - DPO7 right now and wont test until 4/11/16 - DH wont let me test any earlier because Its craziness LOL


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8 years ago


My son is 3 and was unplanned. I also have a step daughter from my previous marriage (age 15). So this is technically my first TTC ever...


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8 years ago


My first was a birth control baby and it was the first time I'd had sex in over a year. He just turned 5 last week and I am trying for number 2 since last month. I am using donor sperm as I am single so it makes things a bit more complicated.


8 years ago


Hi everyone.

Dakota - how do you find the age gap? It must be challenging dealing with teens and tantrums all at once! We have decided to wait and see if we want more after this time but I am secretly hoping we have two more. MAYBE three. I think DH doesn't want three, because that would be four in total, but we'll wait and see what happens. I just really want to do the sibling thing with them close in age. But anything would be a blessing of course.

Korenelm - wow that is pretty similar, except my DH doesn't have any biological children of his own. He has basically adopted my son as his son though (we would do it legally but it's difficult where we are) and my son hasn't seen his father since he was two :( :( - it's for the best in a lot of ways but it's still crazy to me.

I think I will be testing around the 12th or 15th. But I might do an early one on Saturday as we have friends coming over and I want to know if I can drink.

tryin2 - it's really strange, isn't it?

fruit-loops - that's exciting! Do you have to do a lot of tracking of ovulation etc with donor sperm as you only get "one shot"? I don't know much about how it works.

8 years ago • Post starter


It's very strange. I came into my daughter's life when she was 4, so she's mine by all means (her mom is MIA). My son was a total unplanned miracle... so actually trying to make a baby this time, or not trying but not preventing at all is a trip to me.

I'm 8 dpo and want to test sooooo bad but know it's too early.


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8 years ago


Foreversomeday it's not to bad. The donor I'm using has frozen vials so I actually get a few chances. This last cycle he gave me 5 vials so I was able to insemi aged every day from CD8-12
As for tracking, its my first month actually tracking anything so it's a bit intense. Temping is easy but trying to decipher CM, height and softness is a bit confusing.


8 years ago


Foreversomeday, the age gap is awesome! My teen isn't ur typical, out every night getting in shit type. He rarely goes out. He's very school-oriented...his social life extends to soccer after school and all that world of warcraft/mmorpg crap. It's weird...lol polar opposite to how me and his father were at that age (trust me, we're thankful...we were buggers lol!)! But yeah, he's a great help! He babysits if we need a date nite or if I need to run out for a Dr's appt etc. DD can be a bit of a handful at times so we usually time things to her nap or bedtime so he doesn't have issues. No real tantrums tho...she'll get upset but she knows where the line is...she likes to teeter on it, but won't cross it lol!

I'm ok with 3, I think. DD took 18 cycles to conceive and this one took 16 cycles with 3 losses, so even tho I'd love another, Idk that I can take anymore of the pressures and upset involved with ttc. If I did happen to end up pregnant after this, I wouldn't be upset or regretful...I just don't think I have anything left in me to really try. Ya know?! =))

I hope ya get some good news soon! Def keep us posted!! =))


8 years ago


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