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Feeling like a failure

Here I am 10 dpo and still no BFP. I have wanted a child for as long as I could remember but I have only seriously started about 6 months ago. I watched all these videos on YouTube about women with PCOS who magically get pregnant without any help from a doctor and I thought that could be me but it wasn't the case. About a month ago I saw my OB/GYN who suggested that I start a cycle of Provera and Femara. I was already taking Glucophage so I was just told to continue taking that because it would help with my fertility. I visited my doctors to prepare for having a child. They switched all my medications to baby-safe ones and I started really eating right and taking care of myself. On Thursday I was admitted into the ER for a blood pressure of 156/119 and they did a beta test to see if I was pregnant. The doctor told me that my HCG level was <1 and there was NO WAY that I could be or become pregnant with levels that low. Mind you at this point I was only 6 dpo. I felt really sad because up until that point I felt so much hope ad then it was like the rug was pulled out from under me. Since that day I have taken multiple tests with what seemed like faint lines but I second guess them because I don't want to get my hopes up just to find out that I'm not pregnant. I am currently 10 dpo with no positive and I am so discouraged. I only have 2 days left in which the egg could actually implant. In my mind there are so many doubts. What if I'm not pregnant? Will I ever get pregnant? I feel like a failure. My OB/GYN nurse just calls and suggests that I should stop trying to conceive until I get my blood pressure under control. I can't take this anymore!

5 Replies • 8 years ago


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I know how you feel. I have been trying to conceive for 18 months but I have not been diagnosed with PCOS and have two children so I am pretty sure I can get pregnant. I am not sure what is going on except the age factor. I am 40 yrs old. So I have done some research on things that I can take. I found that 1. serrapeptase is an enzyme that clears up blocked tubes, and helps clear out scar tissue from endometriosis and other scar tissue that can build up on the uterus. If you decide to buy, get the doctor's best brand at 120,000 units. 2. Ubiquinol, this helps with egg quality but could also help lower your blood pressure. It is good for heart health, but I have seen so many success stories especially those with pcos. 3. Royal Jelly. this may not be good if you are allergic to honey or bees. It is a natural supplement that also helps the uterus be back to normal and women have gotten pregnant just using this. 4. DHEA 50 mg or less. I have seen stories of women taking this and they get pregnant the first month.

Even if you are not pregnant this cycle, there is always next month. In the meantime, look up some of these supplements and read the stories. There are so many! Please don't be discouraged. FX for you that you get your BFP soon!

By the way im in the tww, and im currently 6dpo. I am still waiting to see if I get BFP or not. I am having a lot of symptoms though.

8 years ago


Thank you so much! I will look into them all. I am willing to try anything that will help me. I have faith that we will both get our bfp's. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you lol. The wait is the worst part! Sometimes I wish I wasn't actively trying to get pregnant so that I would have all the anticipation lol. Good luck and keep me updated.

8 years ago • Post starter


I would suggest that maybe you do listen to the doctor about your blood pressure as it could cause you problems during pregnancy if you have high blood pressure. I know it's hard to wait but you do want to make sure that when you do become pregnant baby and you will be ok. Your health matters :) I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you that you get your blood pressure under control and that you get your well deserved BFP :) best of luck Hun and stay strong :)

8 years ago


Thank you Fishermama. The sucky thing is, my blood pressure was well controlled by the medications I was taking before starting fertility meds but they just weren't safe for a baby. I think the new medication mixed with the anxiety of wondering if I was pregnant and not seeing a BFP took its toll on me. I psyched myself out basically. If I am not pregnant this round I will definitely get my health back on track. Honestly, I'll be waiting about 3 months anyway because hubby is a cross country truck driver and will be on the road. Soooooooo I'm giving myself 3 months lol but thanks so much ????

8 years ago • Post starter


After my 3rd chemical pregnancy in 5 months my doctor recommended I take rainbow lite prenatal vitamins and an OTC pill called pregnitude. She said that out of all her friends who were struggling with infertility, once they started taking pregnitude, they all became pregnant within a year. It's basically like a super vitamin for your ovaries and lady parts. She also said anxiety WILL cause you immense stress and that will super hinder your ability to conceive. She recommended a cocktail around my O time to take the pressure off. ;)

Also, have sex on days 10, 12, 14, 16 and 18 of your cycle (period day 1 is day 1 of your cycle). Elevate your bottom 10 minutes after sex each time. Maybe scroll Facebook or read a book. Have fun with it!! Avoid hot baths altogether. Get plenty of water and sleep. Make sure your partner is taking a men's multivitamin, wearing loose boxers and not taking hot baths either!! You want his swimmers nice and healthy!! The last two weeks of your cycle try to take it easy and relax when you can. Put on some Netflix and relax with your feet up.

From a young, healthy woman's perspective who can get pregnant but not stay pregnant, I know first hand how frustrating TTC can be. Every month I try not to worry but low and behold I hit the TWW and I go CRAZY hoping and praying that this month I will get pregnant and HOPEFULLY the baby will stick. Each negative pregnancy test is like another blow to my already damaged baby dream.

All in all, try to breathe and remain hopeful. I know it's hard, but you have a whole community of supportive women behind you. I hope this helps!!

-J

8 years ago


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