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Am I too young to be "Actively Trying"?

My partner and I have been together for 5 years, we are happy and stable, we have a house and a mortgage, we both drive and both have a car, I am in my last year of university and have a part time job with good career prospects, he has until recently been in the same job for 9 years, and is now self employed and managed to bag an amazing contract meaning he earns on average £600-£1000 per week after tax. We decided we wanted to start trying for a baby so I had my mirena coil removed, visited my GP and started pre natal vitamins. The only problem is I am 22 and he is 25. I was feeling really positive about things, and even spoke to my mum about it who was really supportive and told me she would be there no matter what I decided to do as long I as was happy. However, when I have mentioned to a few other friends and family members I have had a few negative remarks made which has dunted my confidence a little. The majority of my friends with kids have had unplanned "happy accidents" and for some reason this seems to be more socially acceptable than me actively planning a baby. Even if were to fall pregnant this cycle, I would be 23 when my child arrived and my partner would be 26 and a half. A few people have said that our situation could change at any point, but I cant help but think anyones situation could change at any point regardless of whether they are 22 or 42 and trying to concieve? I want a large family and the ladies in my family have a history of early menopause (youngest being 38) so I figured starting young was a good idea as long as I was stable which I believe I am? Sorry for long, boring, ranty post, AF appeared on 01/09/14 and I really hoped she wouldn't. I haven't told many people that I am actively trying, only mentioned that I was concidering it, so when they give me negative comments it really hurts, expecially when I am so upset that AF is here, it almost makes me doubt myself and make me wonder if perhaps I am being irresponsible trying...

4 Replies • 9 years ago


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I don't think you are too young!!! I am 23 and trying. I think that as long as you feel as though you are ready and can take care of a child financially and physically and emotionally, I don't see why not! Good luck in making your baby!

9 years ago


First of all, congratulations on deciding to TTC! It can be a very exciting and stressful time, a roller coaster of emotions if you will, depending on your body, cycles, and fertility. Just keep in mind that for some it takes years, and some it could be the first cycle. Don't get too discouraged if AF comes knocking at your door. There will always be next month. :)

Now, as for the age thing- I don't think it matters at all. My husband and I were together off-and-on through high school (due to him moving and losing contact. When he came back we got right back together and have been together since). The first time I mentioned wanting a baby was, believe it or not, waaay back when we were 18. I don't know if I wanted to get pregnant for popularity or what, but I really wanted to. Luckily my now-husband had enough sense and we did not conceive back then. Fast foward a couple of years, we are now 21. We decided to start actively trying (by then we had been together 5 years, it was clear we were going to be married some day, but we were still "engaged" at the time). I use OPK's, home fertility tests, charting, ect... nothing seems to work, so we switched to NTNP. Fast forward another year, we have talked about it off an on, commenting how odd it is that it's been this many years and I've never gotten pregnant despite our lack of contraception in any way shape or form. Keep NTNP for the time being. We are 22 at this time. At 23, my best friend calls to tell me she's pregnant with #2.

That's when my biological alarm starts going off like crazy. I finally break down and tell her how badly we have been wanting to get pregnant, she accepts it and says she's so happy for us and wants us to feel the same joy she feels with having kids. Her positive response is wonderful. Then I decide to tell my parents, whom make it clear that they are ready and willing to go along with whatever plan we have, but really think we should get married first. I tell my grandparents that we are "officially" TTC as well, and they agree. We really should be married first.

So two months later we are married! Our 1 year anniversary is coming up in October, we are 24 now. Since we got married my family has been more supportive, as well as friends. Our TTC road has been a bumpy one, but honestly I don't think you guys are at the wrong age at all.

You TTC when you feel it's right. Don't think about how much money you have or financially stable you are, ect. If you are definitely with the person you love and plan to be with forever, then by all means, make that baby!

9 years ago


You are nt too young to be actively trying. I got married at 21 and am 25 nw still trying jst have faith and dnt be anxious. Have u done any test at all? You can tell ur doc abt having an HSG done and ur partner to have a sperm test done so u guys cn relax and be placed on any vitamins that cn boost ur changes of conception really fast.

9 years ago


I was married at 18 and have 2 kids (I'm turning 23 in December)...honestly I don't think age is the only factor. You both are financially stable and have a lot of things going for you where a baby would be a great thing if yall are ready! 22 is young to a lot of people and I can understand why some would gawk at the thought of you actively attempting for a baby but if you and your significant other are ready and have the resources i don't see why it ahould be a bad thing. Best of luck :)

9 years ago


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