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losing hope

I have now been ttc for 22 months and hope is now lost. When friends announce their pregnancy I am finding it harder and harder to be happy for them, or even fake it. A girl at work who "has been trying for sooooo long" (a.k.a 6mo) announced her pregnancy last week at work and I had the urge to punch everyone in the face who got excited and congratulated her. (I know this is wrong, but I can't help it- this is turning me into a really bitter person.) I sat there and cried at work . . . and oh look since then 2 more girls at work announced their pregnancy. In addition to everyone I know getting pregnant, I am a labor and delivery nurse- so there is no escape! I just wanna curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep every single night. When will it be my turn? My first is 8 now . . . 8! I feel like if I ever have another one, I'll be a grandma. Thanks for listening- I'm gonna go eat a pint of ice cream since aunt flo is nearly knocking at my door. :'(

9 Replies • 8 years ago


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I'm so sorry!!!! Hang in there. I totally know where you're at. I'm 35 with a 2 year old and we've been trying about 10 cycles now. I am so sad that we haven't conceived and I am just so worried we waited too long. I too am losing hope and ready to call it all off. I can't really offer much else other than I'm not pregnant either. Sending hugs


~Momma Me~

8 years ago


Thanks for your response, it is greatly appreciated. My fingers are crossed for you as well! *baby dust*

8 years ago • Post starter


Hi,
When ad is due our emotions are all over the place so I'm glad you found a way to get some release. When others around us fall pregnant it is hard to keep hope alive but it will happen to you and they will be congratulating you at work.
It must be hard with your line of work, try look at it as a reminder of what all the effort is for.
Keep your chin up and concentrate on planning your next cycle, if indeed it comes??

8 years ago


Where are you in your cycle? I'm 10 days past o. We could be cycle buddies!!


~Momma Me~

8 years ago


Hi, I am new here but have you tried cassava pills? I have not used them but have heard they help women conceive faster. Wouldn't hurt to try!

8 years ago


Hi! Excuse my very bad english, I never learned that language at school.

For my first baby I waited almost 4 years, I undersatnd your feeling... Every month ended with menstruation, every month ended in tears. The last year TTC, I think I cried almost every day. Finally I got evrything checked, It seemed like I had PCOS. OK... two monthes of meds, and got pregnant!

I began TTC my second child right after having given birth to my first girl. 12 monthes of meds (Clomid, Puregon, etc), nothing. Not ever the littlest ovulation... My gyn told me to take my birth control pill again because I had very big functional cysts, each of them was the size of a lemon... So I took the pill, forgot the pill three times...and got pregnant of my second daughter!! My first girl was 26 monthes old as her sister came to world!

Now I'm trying for a little third baby... Never been menstruated since more than a year. First round on Clomid (5 pills per day!), no ovulation... I'm taking progesterone pills to get menstruated so I can start Puregon on the next cycle...

Sorry if this was long to read. I just wanted to tell a thing to you ! NEVER LOSE HOPE and NEVER GIVE UP!!! It may take time, too much time, it may be very hard sometimes, but you'll forget it all when you'll see the first smile of your child. I'm sure it will work for you.

Keeping my fingers crossed...

8 years ago


I feel like you're in my head. I am on cycle 22 and I am driving myself crazy. I never let myself hope anymore, and this time I think I got a batch of bad tests and, dangit, I saw the faint second line I let myself hope.

I shouldn't have done that. I should've known better.

But since I have started trying for our second child, I have watched those around me fall pregnant, have their babies and many of those babies are already hitting their milestones...and here I sit. I feel like my life is on hold, perpetually pushing off plans "in case" I end up pregnant.

I try to remember just how grateful I am that I have one already, that at least I got to experience being a mother but I can't help but feel the emptiness when we're all together. Like there's just one more missing from the crew and I feel like I need to mourn that loss, that emptiness. But I don't feel like that's allowed.

So, I wrap it all up, deal with it as best I can, and end up crying at my desk. You are NOT alone.

8 years ago


I'm sorry to hear about how hard it is for you at work. I understand that must be difficult to see so many other's get what you want and it seems so easy... However I agree with Minette and Kerzie... DON'T LOSE HOPE!

I am also trying for #2 and feel there is something missing... I am so grateful for the little one I do have - he's awesome - and some people don't even have that. So, I it is hard to deal with the sadness that comes with the let down each month...but I am going to keep on trying and keep my hope alive. I KNOW WE CAN DO IT!

Good luck abcairnie! I am rooting for you!


8 years ago


We've only been ttc #2 for 10 cycles but can relate to how hard it is when others tell you they're pregnant. My dh bro is newly pregnant and they weren't planning on having kids for 3 years after marriage and not even a year later are pregnant. Thank goodness I wasn't around when my dh got the call or I would have broken down/said something terrible! Our dd is 2 early June, I never went back on pill after her birth but we used protection the first year so my back could adjust (diagnosed with chronic pain syndrome 2012) to having one kid and have them be independent before trying again. It's so hard not to give up and lose hope as you watch others around you fall preg so easy. 12 dpo today and having spotting I nearly lost it multiple times as yet another cycle goes by. Praying we all get that bfp soon and some beautiful bubs will come everyones way.

8 years ago


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