Community post

Heart broken but got to stay positive

Morning all,

So after getting BFP after BFP, all of a sudden they started to get lighter. Obviously my natural reaction was to panic so I called my DR and she managed to get me an early scan for a few days time. After that I just tried to push it to the back of my mind and convince myself it was all okay.

However, within 24 hours of getting the fainter result I started to cramp. Each hour went by and the pain was getting worse and worse until it got to the point where I was curled up on my floor crying. Not too soon after, the blood started. WARNING: if you're grossed out easily don't read the rest.. I have never seen clots like it. They were the size of golf balls and covered in mucus. That's when I knew I was miscarrying.

The next day I had my scan where I got told I had miscarried. My world felt like it was coming crashing down. I know some people may think that i'm over the top as I was only 6 weeks pregnant but for those 4 weeks that I knew, I felt so amazing. I became so attached to this little poppy seed sized thing inside of me that I really did feel like I had lost a huge part of me.

Besides the emotional pain (which even after 4/5 weeks, I'm still battling), the physical pain was excruciating. for the next week it was a constant reminder of what had happened and made it a hell of a lot harder to forget and move forward.

Getting my first period after was also a pretty crappy time. You know you're going to eventually (and in fact, you pray for it to come as soon as possible) but when AF eventually shows her face it just brings all those emotions right back.

After this experience I am terrified to start trying again as I can't imagine going through it again :( To all you ladies out there that have suffered multiple miscarriages or just any for that matter, my heart truly goes out to you and I pray with all my being that you get your rainbow baby xxx

2 Replies • 8 years ago

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