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Concerned my 2 yr son isn't mine. Need positive feedback
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, I sent out a DNA test to see if he is. I'm hoping for the best, but trying to prepare myself for the worst...
This mother and I had a few rendezvous when I came home for thanksgiving Nov 21- 28th 2011... I've known her since high school (we used to date) and she always had a delayed/ different cycle.
She finally accepted the fact around New Years that she may be pregnant and she wanted me to be there with her to check. I was so happy when it was positive, she cried but I was happy and made her happy.
She claims to never have had sex with another man during those times, and how it is impossible for him not to be mine... I sure hope it's true. I asked her the other day bc it's bothering so much and she was very defensive and mad at me for 2 weeks and still is...
My son looks NOTHING like me. My mother even admitted it after I dragged it out of her. We are both white with blue eyes (not the same blue) and I'm 6'2 and he is tall for his age. The one thing that gave me hope is we both have an identical freckle on our left index finger. That's our ONE distinct similarity... A freckle, that I am very great full for.
I guess my main question is, when I get the results back, I will be so happy if he is indeed mine... If he's not, tell me what to do. I will not leave him. He changed my life so much. I'm afraid if he isn't mine and I confront the mother than she may try to take him away from me (although I established paternity on the birth certificate and have taken care of him during my possession periods) so I don't think she can. I'm not sure... Now I'm now I'm jumping ahead bc I pray he is mine... He may be! Maybe we just look nothing alike. He is such a happy boy. He deserved the best.
I apologize for posting here, I didn't know where else to go. Waiting for these tests to come back is the most stressful time of my life.
If we had sex Nov 21-28th 2011 and the dr said the due date was aug 23rd 2012 but he came aug 9th around 37 weeks... That sounds about right??? I hope... I told her not to get an ultra sound with out me and the first time she went to the dr they have her an ultra sound and she said they made her and she didn't know. I never heard how old the baby was or how many weeks when I got to see the ultra sound with her and the Drs... Is this normal? Is something fishy going on or am I just being paranoid...
Thanks again y'all.
Just know I will always love my son, but I need to know a place I can go to talk to people, or just to be able to go some where and breathe if my worst nightmare comes true.
5 Replies • 8 years ago
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Pregnancy test calculator
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My son didn't look anything like my husband, they both had blue eyes, different shade. My husband's eyes are a light blue and my son's were almost navy...by the time he was 5 they were light. Now that he's 15 (tomorrow) u can see more of my husband in him than me. Idk that I'd jump to the conclusion that he isn't urs becuz he doesn't look like u right now. Kids change almost daily, he may be a mini-u when he's 10...never know! As for her being mad and defensive, yes it could mean what u think it does, but being female, if my husband ever questioned our kids paternity, I'd lose my shit on him! No matter how nice u are about it, ur calling her a liar and no one likes that. Whether or not she is, is for the test to determine, but if she didn't lie and that is ur child, I highly recommend an apology and some beautiful flowers.
8 years ago
Hi there,
It's hard to imagine me being in a situation like that. I find it somewhat strange that you would ask for a paternity test if you love the kid as much as you say you do. But that's not relevant here.
Concerning your question about what you should do, if you ARE the father, I also think you owe your partner an apology. If you ARE NOT the father, then you could confront your partner about it, but not before you have decided for yourself if you want to be/stay the child's father or not. That is something that you have to make out first. Only when you have decided about that will you be able to see if you and the mother can work it out. But I guess it totally depends on the kind of relationship you have with her now.
Good luck.
8 years ago
I really appreciate both of your inputs. I agree I woke my ex gf an apology if he is mine. The reason I'm getting a test is bc it's racking my brain. I went for months now, saying, "I'm not going to get one, bc he is my son anyways". You can call me a hypocrite, but I changed my mind bc it's almost taken over my mind. It's all I can think about, and I would rather just know. I will stay in his life no matter what... I will be crushed if he isn't. Does any one think that a matching freckle in an identical spot is possibly genetics from me?
If he is not mine I will just need some time... And possibly a psychiatrist or far away friend. I can't talk to my family about it, they are too proud of him and if I ever even mentioned it, it would not be good.
I know i am potentially opening a can of worms, but hopefully it's the best of worms there ever was...
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