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Jealousy Post Ectopic

Really, I just need reassurance that my feeling are normal. I had an ectopic pregnancy resulting in surgery and the loss of a tube in October 2013.
My husband doesn't understand why I just can't be happy for the women I know who are pregnant, but I have this intense jealousy. Our baby would have been born by now and these feelings are just getting worse. Why does she get to have a healthy baby and I don't. A very close friend of mine had an ectopic a few months after I did, and I am so worried that she will get pregnant before I do because I'm worried what the jealousy will do to our friendship. To risk sounding like a child. Life is just not fair.
Please tell me this is normal and that it gets easier.

9 Replies • 9 years ago


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I went through this Feb 2013 and lost my left tube and I was angry and even more angry when my two sisters got pregnant at the same time but both had abortions. I cried out to God that I wanted my baby and they do easily got rid off theirs so easily. After one year of self blame everyone else blame not wanting to take part in any baby showers,I decided to be happy and I finally threw away the doctors reports and the positive pregnancy tests from that pregnancy. I renewed my relationship with God and I know that he's able to fix it and make my one tube work better than two. Keep focused but know that it's ok to grieve.


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9 years ago


Aww bless your not alone, I had ectopic and lost a tube just in April and it seemed everyone and there dog were announcing there pregnancys posting there scan pics etc, I'm very pleased for anyone having babies I really am but OMG I can't stand seeing it, keep thinking it should be me this should be my baby's scan pic etc, so I'm thinking it's natural and part of the grieving process xx

9 years ago


It's good to know its not just me! I've had to put up with people moaning about their pregnancies and it's so difficult not to just scream at them that they should be grateful they're pregnant not moaning about it!
Feel like I'm going to snap one day and it s not fair to take it out on someone else when it's my issue!

9 years ago • Post starter


It's really difficult, but totally unavoidable people fall pregnant all the time we were just extremely unlucky doesn't make people moaning about being pregnant any easier though, so your not alone, are you trying again ? Are you concerned about reduced fertility? Or it happening again ? , my heads all over the place xx

9 years ago


I'm driving myself mad. Trying again and so desperate to get pregnant. My cycles are not perfectly regular, I've been diagnosed with poly cystic ovaries in the past so it makes it quite frustrating. I'm terrified if I do get pregnant it will happen again and equally that I might not be able to get pregnant again. It kind of takes over you mind doesn't it! Are you trying again? How do you find your partner has coped with it? My husband doesn't understand why I feel so strongly about it all.

9 years ago • Post starter


He has gotten so much better he didn't understand at first but one day in church my pastor prophesied to us and told my husband that I desire so strongly to give him a baby and God has heard us and I broke down and told him that every time af comes I feel like a failure and that my body has failed me. He was taken back and didn't know that I had those feelings. Now sugar if I read about pineapple core or anything that helps he is on board. It's all about communicating because men don't feel what we feel unless we show them being that they are visual.


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9 years ago


Yeah we are on our first month of trying again it's taking over everything if I'm not thinking of getting pregnant I'm thinking of how pregnant I should be, it's made more difficult by a friend that is due the exact same day I would have been keep hoping I can fall pregnant before that date and it might make it less painful, I'm also thinking what if I can't get pregnant I know everyone says it's still possible and remaining tube will work for both sides but until I get the bfp I won't believe it xx

9 years ago


I try to remain positive I have had 16 cycles since my ectopic without even a chemical loss but I'll remain faithful that it will happen.


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9 years ago


I had a ectopic pregnancy in May. Losing my left tube. We just started trying for our second kid. First is 7 years old. I was Due Jan. 1. I was so excited that i was pregnanct and it was the first time just trying to conceive and we hit the jackpot. or so we thought. I have 2 family members that are due the same time as I would be. And i have 3 friends that are due at time too. And you are not alone cause I am obsessed with trying to conceive. I have left myself out of things that have pregnant women, cause I just cant take the pain that. she is pregnant and beautiful and I am left here with no baby and a scar. But I wouldn't worry about it. No one knows what it feels like to lose a baby until they do. Something a part of you literally dies and it is emotional. Just try not to ruin your friendship over it. Maybe remove yourself from situations like i do till the pregnancy is over or you think you can handle it. And if you are comfortable about telling them about it do it. My family is understanding that I am still am having a hard time with my lost.
Just try to stay positive and keep trying. The more stress you have the harder it is to conceive. Good luck and sorry about your loss. Hope I helped.

9 years ago


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