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Please Consider That This is An Obsession

Ladies, I don't mean to be a downer but I am proof that "symptoms" can be all in your head. I realized that you can think you want something SO bad and then EVERYTHING seems like a symptom. It's like ghosts. You want to believe they are real SO bad that anything (even the wind blowing) is caused by a ghost.

My advice is to not even think about it. I know it's really, really hard but it's better not to even consider it, ESP before getting a period. I saw more women on here say the same thing: I have cramps, my breasts hurts, etc. and I would say about 90% of them ended up saying they weren't pregnant. This happens to them EVERY month and yet they still obsess over it. And now look at me, not pregnant and yet I was CONVINCED that I was pregnant. I feel so silly. This has become an obsession for some people and I really don't want that to be my life. I am not saying anyone is wrong or crazy but what I wanted was for someone to tell me this very thing. I wanted someone to tell me what I am about to tell you: a woman's body is a miraculous thing that goes through constant changes everyday. You've probably experienced these symptoms a million times before and yet it is only because you want a baby so bad that you all of a sudden are associating, and maybe even manifesting, these "symptoms" which are SO similar to PMS and reactions to everyday experiences (food, drinks, media, environment, media) that you're just going to drive yourself crazy thinking about it every single minute. I can't imagine the pressure it puts on men and I do not want to be one of those obsessive women that are SO convinced they are pregnant that they strain their relationship with a really great man.

Again, I am really sorry if I am being negative and I really wish all of you the best of luck but if you think about typical women with some type of psychosis (like me, I admit it 100%) this seems to be the evolution of obsession: in high school you obsess over boys and being skinny. Some women become anorexic. Then, they obsess over getting engaged. Then they obsess over getting married. Then, once they have all of that, they obsess over getting pregnant. Once they have a kid, they obsess over their kids and the cycle repeats itself. Stop the cycle ladies. I am putting my foot down on my obsession right now. The reason women aren't seen as equal to men in the workplace is because women aren't obsessing over the ONE thing that they really need to obsess over and that's their career and success. THAT'S what you should be obsessing over. Not getting pregnant. Not even being engaged or marriage. Websites like this an Pinterest feed that obsession and I am not just realizing why you have the Sheryl Sandbergs of the world. Because she didn't obsess over marriage and kids. It just happened but the one thing she DID obsess over, was her career and look how successful she is.

Sorry, sorry, sorry if you hate me but seriously, think about what I said. Just go with the flow and if you one day legitimately don't have a period (after you should; being completely healthy, no PCOS, consistent periods for at least 6 months) that is the one and only time you should take a HPT.

Good luck everyone.

3 Replies • 9 years ago


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Good, common sense approach. The HPT companies are really doing well with all of us obsessing.

Last month I waited.

This month I didn't. But I know that testing obsessively isn't helping anything.

Like an addict, sometimes I find I cannot stop.

Is it good that we have this forum, or do we fuel one another's obsession?

Thank you for your thoughts!!!!

Baby dust!!!


me 34, DH 35. DX PCOS 2002 u/s learned follicles not maturing, lining thin. (I now use estrogen patches) DH's SA= great Two cycles Clomid= two good eggs, but thin lining, ovulated late, TI missed ovulation date. Clomid took away CM and took away my libido. So, 3 cycles Femara. Lining good, no side effects, but not effective after the first month, even after increased dosage. This month= FX 75 mgs Clomid, Days 3-7 HCG trigger shot 35 hours later IUI; Thursday Oct 30, 2014 My lining was better, I've been going to more acupuncture and ate a lot of red meat.

9 years ago


I agree that perhaps we obsess over symptoms too much and I am definitely guilty of that but I find your comment about women should be obsessing over their careers instead to be highly offensive. I want to be a stay at home mom ( with a part time job to help pay bills) so there is no point to me focusing on a "career" when my goal in life is to have a family. Unfortunately I have pcos and need fertility treatments. I have no choice but to go through IUIs as I have to use donor sperm and I do not ovulate without meds. So for my husband and I, we have no choice but to constantly plan for IUIs and tracking follicle growth and meds. It's simply not an option for us if we want kids.

I have no interest in a career until my future kids are grown and away at college. While I'm all for women to assert themselves in the workplace and I fully support those women who choose to focus on a career, I personally focus on having kids. I only care about being successful in one area of my life and that's family, the one I already have (mother, husband, sister, niece, etc) and the one I hope to make.


9 years ago


@amytexas123 Yeah no kidding. It's SO expensive and for what? To find out that 95% of the time you are NOT pregnant? I am glad you understand and I had to catch myself to. I was about to fall into the same pit that I see everyone else falling into. I am laughing at myself right now at the realization and the fact that I fixated on this. Just like I fixated on anorexia. Just like I fixated on EVERY guy I ever dated. I am ready to break the cycle. I think it's good to be able to relate to people and I do agree that certain symptoms during certain times of the month is odd but I think they know what they're talking about when they say that before your missed period is really too early to tell because there are 1 million things happening in your body simultaneously so to pinpoint one particular firing of a cell or nerve would be impossible. I think THAT'S why they say it's too early to really tell any symptoms. I am all for supportive forums but what I was reading was really scary. I could understand if it was a one time thing but it seems consistent every month. These women put themselves through this EVERY month only to find out they aren't pregnant. They go on and on about these "symptoms" when in reality, that's how your body normally functions and you are just now becoming aware of it. Who knows really. I don't pretend to be right but I am just using my own experience of doing the exact same thing and then not being pregnant.

@CatMom1 I apologize if I offended you. You are right. Not everyone has the same plan but what I am seeing is that some women will push everything aside, just to have a baby. A baby should be a happy addition to your existing life. Not something you sacrifice everything for. Why do you think that you can only have babies during a certain time period of your life? Because you are supposed to learn and experience life, have a baby and then go back to learning and experiencing again. If your whole life is having kids, you really won't have anything after they are grown and they are now learning and experiencing life themselves. I am really happy to hear that your life path is to be a mother and I wish you the best of luck with trying to get pregnant.

9 years ago • Post starter


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