Community post

Wow I feel like so much of this could have come from my own head. It's reassuring to know I am not alone in this feeling of limbo, but I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Hi! My name is Jodi and my husband and I have been trying for our second child for 3 1/2 years. I worked out the other day it has been 40 cycles, 40 months of devastating disappointment.
I also wonder how much more of this I can take. My husband also has the same response as yours, that we haven't tried hard enough, that we should just keep 'practicing'.
I'd also give anything to be told once and for all if I should give up and move on. I feel like I could hold out if I just knew it would all work out and would happen one day. But what if that day never arrives. What then? I just wish I knew either way....

Good luck to you and your husband... I hope your dreams come true. :)

I am so sorry you're struggling with this the way you are hun. I felt as I read your post, as if I'd written it myself. My husband (Almost 33) and myself (32) have been TTC for almost 8 years now with one loss, and I've been watching all my friends and family have children of their own as well.

My gosh, I am so sorry that you feel like you can't do this anymore, I feel for you. My heart hurts for each and every one of us that wants something so bad and yet it's just out of reach.

You're all in my prayers and thoughts...

Big hugs to you hunni! Sounds like you need them :-( I don't really have any advice but I really do understand and feel your pain & frustration. We all have our bad times and you're definitely not alone there!

I really hope that you realise your dream of having a child and hope that your spouse is more sympathetic (for want of a better word). I too have had a rough run where hubby is concerned as I often feel like he doesn't care. Deep down I know he does & I think it's his way of coping with the whole deal. Doesn't make me feel any better sometimes but I've also heard this from a lot of other women so think it is a coping mechanism for them, like they always have to be the strong one. I really wonder sometimes how hard it is on the men in our lives to watch us go through so much and not be able to do anything whilst also going through the same fears & doubts :-(

I thought I'd share my story in the hope that you don't feel so alone in all of this :-)

Hubby & I decided to "just see what happens" one day about 16 years ago! Since that time I feel like I've spent most of my life ttc. I have gotten to the point (many, many times!!!) where I've thought it would be easier to just give up or at least to be told that I either had a chance or I didn't.

Early on in our journey I got pregnant but miscarried at 11 weeks. We were both completely devastated and gave up even thinking about trying for a baby again for a couple of years.

When we got back into wanting to try again I started with all the charting, temps, check ups with doctors, disappointments & heartache that goes along with wanting something so bad that you think you may actually die if you don't get it.

After about 7 years (probably even earlier, if truth be told) I was at my wits end and was really considering just giving up. My heart just wasn't in it anymore & I couldn't take any more disappointment, that & hubby didn't seem the least bit worried about it. By that stage I was over 30 so was really starting to give up my dreams.

Here's where things improve :-)

We finally managed to have a beautiful baby girl in 2009 - 11 1/2 years after we had first decided that we were ready to start a family.

Out daughter really is the light of our lives and definitely the one thing that was missing. Since getting pregnant with her I suffered terrible morning sickness, depression & anxiety during pregnancy, a terrible labour & emergency c-section, about 18 months (possibly longer) of pnd and feeling completely lost for a bit. Couldn't understand any of this as I was supposed to be happy!

Despite ALL of that we decided that we needed to try to add to our little family, we would love more children and miss 4 really wants siblings. That was about 2 years ago and still trying.

Other than worrying about my age (38) I know that I can't give up. I'm so glad that I didn't give up the first time. It took YEARS (!) and almost destroyed our relationship at times but I'm so thankful that we got the chance to become parents.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that as hard as it is, I think (for me at least) it would have been even harder to give up in the long run. I try to stay focused & positive & tell myself that there's always a chance for a miracle (or menopause, but I'm hoping miracle. Lol).

I wish you all the luck in the world & hope you stick at and get the baby that you're hoping for.

Thank you so much ladies for sharing your stories. It's so hard to stay strong sometimes though. I appreciate you allowing me to be herd. And validating how I have been feeling.

Hugs right back to you to and hope your dreams of little feet to kiss come true too

Thank you so much ladies for sharing your stories. It's so hard to stay strong sometimes though. I appreciate you allowing me to be herd. And validating how I have been feeling.

Hugs right back to you to and hope your dreams of little feet to kiss come true too

Hi there..... I know this is an old post....but just wondering how things turned out for you?