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Devastated after a miscarriage last cycle

Ok, so i just need to vent. My husband and I have been TTC for almost two years. We had an appointment set up with a fertility specialist for April 14, 2015. On April 13th, we had our BFP confirmed at my regular Dr's office. We were both so filled with so much joy that it brought us to tears. A week later, I awoke to find that I had started bleeding. After spending all day in the ER, we was told that they could not find a viable fetus, and that i needed to get a blood test done the following day to determine if I had miscarried. My husband took the call, when he was told that my hcg levels were dropping. He came to me, sobbing, to tell me the news. Devastation doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I know I shouldn't compare myself to anyone else, but I can't help it. I did everything right, and I lost it. Meanwhile, my sister did heroine for at least the first 6 months of her pregnancy, and she is getting ready to give birth any day now. It's just so frustrating to have to try to be happy for her while I'm still so devastated by my loss. Then I find out that a woman I know, who already has 6 kids, is pregnant again,and she wasn't even trying. All of this is weighing heavily on my mind today, just crushing my heart. Maybe I'll feel better now that i got it out of my head. I will pray that I can soon let all this go.


2 Replies • 8 years ago


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you almost posted my journey xx

After a year of trying, I got a BFP about a week before my Fertility specialist appointment. Cancelled the appointment and the next day started bleeding. turned out I had an ectopic pregnancy and was in surgery the next day to have it and my left tube removed.

It sucks beyond belief to know that you are a good person yet crap happens and no crap seems to happen to crap people.

My journey does have a bright spot, as we got pregnant and a beautiful little boy nearly two years ago with the help of IVF

But then it took a dark twist when we started trying for our second. over 1 year later and 5 miscarriages its still pretty dark, but my boy does make it easier.

but again, when i do everthing right, why isnt it happening? what did I do to deserve this.

I am currently 4dpo, waiting for my next Frozen Egg Transfer on Monday. Im excited but also scared because of how it will more than likely turn out, same as all the others. But eventually it will work. It has to. xx


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8 years ago


I'm sorry to hear of both your losses. I too have felt such heartache. I've had 2 miscarriages this past year. The first was at 9 weeks (no heartbeat detected at followup after it was there at 7 weeks). Even that was such a devastating experience. We were brave and tried again. To our great joy we were then expecting a little girl. Everything seemed perfect until her heart mysteriously stopped found at a routine Dr appointment. I was 5 1/2 months pregnant. I gave birth to her after induction. We spent the day with her and chose to have a service and bury her. Losing a baby at any stage is absolutely devastating. We have that dream that hope that love long before conception. People who haven't been through it fail to understand what a loss it is. I wish you both the best.

8 years ago


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