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Overwhelmed

This is my first time posting in a forum about being unable to conceive, but I've gotten to the point now where I feel that I need to reach out to others. This journey has become overwhelming and to be completely honest I would be lying if I didn't admit that it's become something of an obsession. Does anyone else feel that way? Do you find yourself staring at the pregnancy tests, straining your eyes until they about pop out trying to find a pink line that doesn't exist... throwing it away in tears just to dig it out of the trash 10, 15 minutes, an hour later because you may have missed it the first time? Or better, thinking that if you just dismantle the plastic contraption and hold the test strip in your hand you might be able to see it better? In the end the result is always the same... better luck next time lady.
I have to divulge that I do have two children already. They are both from a previous marriage and it took seeing a fertility specialist to conceive them. I had a blockage on the left and a non patent right fallopian tube, per HSG. My youngest is now 8.
Before my divorce my previous husband and I tried for 2 years to have another child but it never happened.
Now, 36 years old and remarried, my husband and I have also been trying for 2 years to conceive, and have had 3 miscarriages. My husband has no biological children, and although he reassures me that isn't the case, I can't help but think I'm letting him down.
I've been unsuccessful with Clomid, and I keep getting bounced from doctor to doctor. I haven't found anyone who really cares to spend the times to help me, so now we are about to dig in deep and go to an actual fertility clinic. I've become so sensitive about the whole thing, and all I want is for a physician to actually care about what women like us are experiencing. I'm tired of being pushed off on someone else, or having to leave a dozen messages, or being told a procedure or lab is too expensive or not covered by insurance. Sometimes I just want to scream, and I guess this is the closest I'm going to come to that, as I feel confident that there is someone among you who can hear my voice and relate to my pain. Thank you for letting me express how I'm feeling in a safe place.

1 Reply • 8 years ago


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My heart aches for you. I understand the feeling. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy! With my first son we had trouble conceiving him and ended up having to have surgery to clear out my endometriosis. Then they put me on a lupron treatment. We finally got pregnant with him. Now that we're trying for baby #2, I'm having trouble again. I had surgery again for the same reason this past Dec. I didn't do the lurpon treatment this time around, but we are praying that we get still get pregnant. Our insurance doesn't cover any fertility drugs or treatment. I know that God is bigger than all of this, though. I'll say a prayer for you. I know it can be overwhelming. Just remember to take a moment for yourself, breath deep, say a prayer, and stay positive.

Dear heavenly Father, I come to you to ask that you help this lovely lady get pregnant and to have a long healthy pregnancy resulting in a healthy baby that her heart has longed for. I pray that you place your hands on her and help her feel calm and happy and that you take the stress away from her. In your word, God, you say that all we have to do is ask and it will be given to us. You know the desires of our hearts. Thank you for the blessings in life that you have already given us and we can't wait to see what blessing you have in store for us just around the corner. I your holy name, God, I pray, Amen!


Good luck!! Prayers that soon we'll all see our

8 years ago


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