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Emptiness, heartbreak and hope

I had a miscarriage @ 12 weeks. Everything was perfect and beautiful @ 10 weeks. My little T-Rex's heart was beating so strong! But when I went to the Dr at 12 weeks, there was nothing. The feeling that one feels when the doctor said that there was something wrong with the baby is a feeling that one can never truly describe.
How could something so strong and perfect just disappear from my life? I feel so empty and guilty even though I know that it is not my fault.
The doctor booked me for a D&C but I had an active miscarriage on the morning that I had to go in. The physical pain finally matched the emotional pain and it almost felt like I allowed the pain to become my punishment. When I awoke my first words were: Was it a beautiful baby?
My husband has no idea how to help me cope. All he wants is for my sadness to end. I have agreed to go see someone to help me work through this.
And with it all, I am excited more now than ever to fall pregnant again - my little one will return to me and hopefully soon. My love for him/her has only grown as I now know that my angel is extra special!

1 Reply • 10 years ago


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I am very sorry for your loss Anonnie :( I went through this last year and was very sad for a long time. It actually helped me to break from ttc for a little while so I could wrap my head around it. However I can tell you that going through that experience has given me a very different perspective this time around because I know nature has her ways and there wasn't anything I did to cause the miscarriage -and neither did you- nor was there anything I could have done to stop it - nor was there anything you could have done. I know it's difficult to not feel guilty but try really hard to put that out of our mind because it's absolutely not your fault. We love our babies from the very moment we know or even suspect we are pregnant so it's natural and important to grieve for the loss.

I wish you all the best and just and just wanted you to know you are not alone.


bumpvibes! Sending everyone and

10 years ago


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