Community post

Discussion

One Week After Miscarriage

It has been one week since the worst day of our lives. I'm able to talk about the miscarriage without hyperventilating and completely breaking down in tears. I haven't been able to bring myself to look at other people's pregnancy test pictures on here yet. We are still heartbroken and cannot understand how/why this happened to us. The only thing that brings us comfort is knowing that God had a plan and mother nature knew what she was doing.

The physical healing after the D&C was slightly easier than the emotional healing. Now I wait for my follow up appointment in a week. I think it will be difficult being back in the office where I found out my baby's heart stopped beating.

I thought I would make it through the week without hearing an insensitive comment but a couple days ago, a girl at work compared her frustrations of TTC for two months to my miscarriage... Yup, ok. It's also amazing how uncomfortable people get around you after something like this. They don't know what to say so they pretend like nothing happened. I think that's worse than saying the wrong thing. The other frustrating thing is getting ALL our medical/lab bills the week after the miscarriage. Talk about a kick in the balls.

I've had multiple people ask me if I would tell people about my next pregnancy (God willing) before three months again. My answer is absolutely. I cannot imagine going through something like this all alone. It's a dark and isolating place to be but having the support of our families, close friends, and coworkers has been a blessing beyond belief.

6 Replies • 9 years ago


Advertisement

 

Pregnancy test calculator

Use this calculator to help you decide when to take your first home pregnancy test.

1 - 6 of 6 Replies


I am so sorry for your loss. I have had 2 miscarriages within a 3 month period. 1st one was in early Nov. Got to 5w. The 2nd one was in mid Jan. Got to 5w 4d. I keep praying 3rd times the charm. But to be honest I am also terrified that it wont happen and I will have another mc. I know those feelings are normal. It's heartbreaking. The first mc I had, I took it extremely hard, emotionally. Had lots of mini breakdowns. After 20 cycles of trying and then finally getting pregnant from doing an IUI, I was on cloud 9, I was so excited. Then we lost it and I was devastated...took me a few weeks before I started to feel better. I don't think you ever really get over it but it gets easier to talk about it. The 2nd was hard but, strangely not as hard as the first. We kept it from our families until after the 2nd mc. I didn't want to bring it up during the holidays. But once I told my parents I felt better. Now I have that added support. My dad says his Aunt on his moms side had 12 mc's before she finally had a son. I hope that doesn't mean anything bad for me. I think he was trying to give me hope but, instead that just freaked me out more. My point is is you aren't alone. As for that girl at work...sadly, if they haven't been trying that long and haven't really been through the struggles they don't really understand. I think maybe she was trying to sympathize with you but unless she goes through the same struggles she is never going to understand. Hang in there! You will get lucky again. They say, one you have had a miscarriage or even a live birth you are extra fertile and able to get pregnant easier again. I pray that is the case for you.


User Image Me:38 DH:40 TTC #1 since March 2013 Been seeing Fertility Doc since Nov 2013 Please check out my page and you will see a whole list of things we have been doing for this whole TTC journey. 1 Fur child (cat)...named Kit 2 step kids... Boy: 13 Girl: 12

9 years ago


Lupin, I am so sorry for your loss but glad you are able to talk about it. I know that helps me a lot. I understand what you mean too about people not saying anything, acting like it didn't happen. It's so sad that a miscarriage is like a secret you have to keep inside, people should be more open about it.

I hope you are able to conceive again when the time is right. And I think it's great that you plan to tell people early. :) Honestly, there is no "safe zone" in pregnancy. I had just started my second trimester, 13 weeks along, when I lost my baby boy. I know others in the third trimester who have as well. So it's not like waiting to tell people changes the outcome. One other thing that bugged me a lot is older women saying things like "well you should have waited to announce" or "it's a shame you found out so early" or something. As if by doing that it's your fault you miscarried. So frustrating.

Anyway, I hope you are able to heal and move forward and not give up hope :)


<img src=

9 years ago


Tcinks, you are absolutely right about no “safe zone” during pregnancy. I think the risk of miscarrying is much high in the first trimester, but really, it can happen any time. I am also so sorry about your baby boy. There really are no words. We did genetic testing and would have found out the gender of our baby but I didn't want to know after the miscarriage. Would have sent me over the edge. As far as people being insensitive, I think they mean well but don’t realize how insensitive they come off sometimes.

Lol1176, 2 miscarriages in 3 months? I am so so sorry! I completely understand what you mean by being “terrified” about it happening again. But I think you are right, those feelings are completely normal. I’m so glad you have a strong support system. I family history of miscarriages can be tricky. My mother never had a miscarriage. Neither did my husband’s mother. Both my grandmothers did though. and I have several aunts and a sister in law who miscarried (never knew any of this before..) You just never know. I believe people need to talk about it more and be open and honest about it. It wouldn’t be such a taboo topic and I think people would feel less isolated and alone if/when it does happen.

9 years ago • Post starter


So sorry for your loss. It is never easy no matter how early on you are or how far along you are. We all handle these losses differently and there really is no right or wrong way to feel.
One thing I suggest you do is get a full blood check up. Make sure you can put away the doubt that there maybe something like hypothyroidism, diabetes, high blood pressure etc. After my 1st lost, I came to find out I had hypothyroidism which prevented the growth of my baby. With my recent loss of my 36 week son, I am still waiting on the the results of the autopsy report, however the nurse mentioned to my mom that she noticed an issue on the umbilical cord.
But yes, unfortunately people do not know how to respond in regards to this loss. Mostly everyone I've encountered though have nothing to say and there really is nothing to say about the loss of a growing life inside us. It is a very uncomfortable topic and some just don't have a filter other than try to sympathize. Others can't sympathize and those are the ones who have the most insensitive comments. No one can tell you how long it will take you to heal. It's almost been 3 weeks since my angel Connor went to heaven and I have my moments and also moments of anxiety I cannot control leading me to having to get meds (lowest dose because I have never taken anxiety meds before) but we put our strongest foot forward and move ahead.


Jan 6 2010 - DS Preston May 27, 2013 "Angel Baby" - (13 weeks) Feb 20, 2015 Sleeping Angel Connor Everett - (36w4d) Mommy loves you Sweet Angel.

9 years ago


I am deeply saddened for your loss. Sending hugs your way.


User Image Avery Drew - 6wks 6days - Jan 5, 2008 Skylar Dakota - 5wks 1day - April 19, 2008 Charlie Blake - 4wks 3days - April 4, 2010

9 years ago


HzlGreenEyes: I am so sorry for your loss. I can not imagine the pain you are going through. I lost both of mine at about 5wks. And that is heartbreaking but getting so close and going through what you went through is heart shattering.

Here is a story of a friend of mine that I pray brings you some hope: I have an older friend that went through a pregnancy and lost it at about the same time as you. The doctors at the time told her to try and get pregnant right away. When she got pregnant again she was a nervous wreck and terrified of losing it again but knew that she needed to try and stay calm and relaxed...easier said then done. She ended up having a healthy baby and not long after had a couple more kids.

Not sure on your plan but if you plan to keep trying then I pray you get your THB real soon.


User Image Me:38 DH:40 TTC #1 since March 2013 Been seeing Fertility Doc since Nov 2013 Please check out my page and you will see a whole list of things we have been doing for this whole TTC journey. 1 Fur child (cat)...named Kit 2 step kids... Boy: 13 Girl: 12

9 years ago


Log in or sign up to reply to this post.


Early pregnancy symptoms by day past ovulation

What signs and symptoms are most common on each day past ovulation?

 

Advertisement

 

Pregnancy test statistics

Select your day past ovulation to see the statistics and to get an understanding of what result you can expect.

Select your day past ovulation
7
dpo
8
dpo
9
dpo
10
dpo
11
dpo
12
dpo
13
dpo
14
dpo